Chapter 31
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
G enesis…
We’d showered and dressed in comfortable loose clothing, but as tired as I was, I wasn’t ready for sleep.
We wound up on the back patio, both of us cuddled together in Chainsaw’s hammock and watching the sky grow lighter, going from blue to lavender to pinks and yellows before finally the faintest bright blue.
I closed my eyes and found myself drifting as we swayed in the light breeze that smelled green and came from the Mississippi over houses and neighborhoods.
He got me up before I could fall completely asleep out here, and took me in to tuck me in beside him in our bed.
I knew deep in my bones that Chainsaw was the one.
His arms around me kept me grounded, and all I felt when I pictured a life and a future without him in it was a deep sense of loss and despair.
I didn’t want to go back.
There was no back, now. Only forward. There was no way I would abandon the man now when one of his brothers and closest friends had just been murdered in front of me. What kind of awful human being would that make me?
It didn’t matter, because I wouldn’t think of it.
I couldn’t.
He held me fast as I fell fast asleep, and I knew without him having to tell me that he was in this as much as I was and that he had no intention of leaving either.
It was late afternoon when we woke, and I groaned and yawned, pressing the back of my hand to my mouth to stifle it.
“Hey, baby,” he murmured.
“Hey,” I whispered back.
“Nightmares?” he asked.
I shook my head.
“No.”
“That’s good.” He sounded relieved.
“I think I was too tired to dream,” I said.
“Is that a thing?” he asked.
“Scientifically?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
I thought about that for a moment and said, “You know, I don’t really know. I do know that when it comes to the psychological effects of trauma, it can manifest in some weird ways and that it’s not always an instantaneous kind of thing.”
He nodded slowly and said, “Yeah, I get that.”
“Club going to meet to discuss the problem?” I asked quietly.
“In the Quarter, women included. You up for it?”
“I’m up for it. I want to check on Sandy and Jessie-Lou,” I said.
“Okay, let’s get dressed and get moving,” he said, setting his phone back down on the bedside table.
“What time and where are we meeting?” I asked him.
“Dinner first,” he said. “Our de facto clubhouse when ours is a crime scene or flooded or otherwise fucked up is Lafitte’s Blacksmith Shop.”
“Interesting choice,” I declared, rising and stretching, stiff and arms and legs decorated with a smattering of bruises thanks to my rough treatment the night before.
“Sentimental,” he declared.
We rose and moved around the bedroom silently. He picked my clothes for me, and I was grateful for not having to put any thought into it. I didn’t see it as controlling or whatever at all. He was just taking care of me, or trying to, and I felt that. Cared for.
Charlie came in the house when we went to leave, shouting at me, incensed at being left outside all night. I fed him his dinner and locked him inside, feeling better for having him in. Safe from the world that felt like it was growing increasingly cruel with rapid intensity.
We rode for the Quarter, and I didn’t have my helmet.
She was at the club. Chainsaw made me wear his, which was far too loose and offered little protection in the event of the worst happening.
We swung into Voodoo Harley-Davidson, but they didn’t have anything but branded tees and souvenir-type shit, for which I got an “I told you so” from Chainsaw.
I got a tee shirt anyway, because I was feeling petty about not listening, and rather than be pissy about it, he just seemed amused.
We had dinner as the sun began to set, and walked to Lafitte’s, where almost everyone else was assembled already in a back area with a gate that kept us visible to the street, but more importantly, the street visible to us .
It was a tight fit for all of us, but we managed. Of course, most of the women were seated either right up against their man or in their man’s lap. I opted to sit next to and lean in close to Chainsaw. He put his arm around me.
Everything flowed like how I would imagine a church meeting would go, only less formal due to us being nowhere near the club’s actual chapel, and that we had an audience should we speak too loudly.
Some tourists did indeed stop at the gate and looked at us as though we were specimens in a zoo, to which Saint snapped at them, “The fuck are you looking at?” That startled them into moving on.
Velina looked amused, Jessie-Lou stared vacantly, and poor Sandy jumped in Bennie’s arms.
Corliss rested her head on Hex’s shoulder, and Alina looked on impassively from LaCroix’s knee, his big arms twined protectively around her waist.
“First things first,” Hex declared. “Sandy, nobody’s mad at you, girl.”
Sandy looked up sharply, eyes darting between Hex’s face and LaCroix’s.
“I’m not,” Jessie-Lou said. “I have every reason to be, but I’m not.” She reached out a hand to the other girl across the table, and Sandrine lunged for it, wrapping both hers around it and bursting into sobs.
We were all heavy and silent until Bennie dragged her back and wrapped her up in his arms, soothing her and making sounds of love and commitment to her until she settled once more.
“Doc, we owe you everything,” LaCroix intoned. “No matter what it is, this club is forever in your debt, not only for trying to save Cy in the eleventh hour of his need, but also for – and I never thought I would say this – bringing the cops to our women’s aide.”
I swallowed hard. “I bought this thing before I called Chainsaw for help with my… problem.” I cleared my throat.
“I told her to wear it, and I should have come clean on that earlier, but I was really hoping we wouldn’t need it. I’m sorry for holding it back. It won’t happen again,” Chainsaw said to LaCroix. LaCroix and the rest of the guys and girls all looked in his direction.
“It was a good call, and had they not needed it, there would have been no harm, no foul. But they did need it. All of us needed it, in a big damn way, yesterday. It was good lookin’ out,” Hex said.
Everyone started nodding, and some of the tension eased out of me. Good. No one was in trouble.
“That just leaves the rest of this mess,” Saint said, and everyone was suddenly very attentive.
“We got Cy’s funeral,” Jessie-Lou declared, and sniffed. “Y’all best get to taking care of the problem, and I do mean once and for all.”
The look she gave each and every man was as cold and sharp as winter’s razor edge in one of the northern states.
It left me breathless and speechless. LaCroix nodded. His dark, tattooed eyes flicked to Axeman, and he said, “You’re off leash.” My throat tightened as his gaze landed on Chainsaw and me. “You know what to do,” he said. “Go with him.”
I looked up to Chainsaw, who nodded. He looked down at me, and a silent apology slid behind his bright blue eyes when he said, “The Marchesi’s made this personal using me as a conduit. Retribution needs to come from me.”
I nodded my understanding, but I didn’t have to be happy about it.
“Go,” LaCroix said, and Axe stood up.
I moved so Chainsaw could stand, and Hex declared, “No worries, we’ll get your lady home safe and sound.”
I swallowed hard and felt some unease, but I knew I hadn’t done anything wrong. I wasn’t in poor standing, and shouldn’t be afraid, and yet still…
“I love you,” I murmured up at Chainsaw, and he dipped, pressing a quick, chaste press of his lips against my sore ones.
“I love you ,” he grated, and then he and Axeman left. He caught a ride from Axe, whose bike was nearby, over to where we’d left his only blocks away.
I swallowed hard and turned back to the table.
“I meant it. We owe you,” LaCroix said, and though I was sure he meant it to be comforting, all it really did was come across even more chilling.
I nodded carefully and said, “Begging everyone’s pardon, but I have to ask… is it wise to begin so soon?”
“We waited for a while after Louie,” Hex said. “There’s no waiting now. Gotta strike while the iron is hot and when they least expect it.”
I nodded and took in a deep, deep breath and let it out slowly.
“What can I do?” I asked softly. “I know I’m new, but if there’s anything I can do?—”
“My brother had enough life insurance to cover his funeral and had it all written down what he wanted done. Momma an’ Daddy is beside themselves an’ Tater?
” Jessie-Lou shook her head. She breathed in hard and tried to keep it together while Collier rubbed her back.
More than a couple of the guys at the table had red-rimmed eyes, and that killed me.
“We could probably use some help planning, making sure that Cypress’s wishes are adhered to,” Corliss said quietly, and I nodded.
“Anything you need, and I do mean anything .”
There were silent nods around the table, and all I felt was a sense of defeat and the need for a mighty strong drink.