36. Kavi
KAVI
Ispin around, leaning against my car for support, to find him staring back at me. Goosebumps ripple over the expanse of my skin under his smoldering gaze.
One month.
One month of happiness flits by like a summer breeze, but one month of heartbreak lingers like an eternal winter.
There hasn’t been a day, a waking moment, where I haven’t conjured him up in my thoughts. Not a second that’s passed where I wasn’t feeling like I was suffocating without him.
I shake my head, my chin trembling, indicating the box in my hand. “This isn’t fair. You aren’t being fair.”
His hands are buried inside the pockets of his suit pants, and while I look like I’m shattering all over again, he looks confident . . . like he’s never been broken.
How dare he look so self-assured and righteous, standing under a beam of light, when I’m over here drowning in the shadows?
Hudson takes a step closer, and I try to melt into my car. “I loved you more with every memory, Kav.”
I swing my head left to right, a heaviness I’ve never felt on my chest threatening to snuff out my breaths.
“Since the day you left that slice of cake on my desk,” he continues, taking another step forward, crossing a chasm I’m not prepared for him to cross. “To the day you threw a resignation in my face and sassed at me in the elevator, to the night we stood under your umbrella in the pouring rain.”
I blink rapidly, hoping to trap my tears behind my lids but doing the opposite instead.
“I loved you the day you told me your dreams, to the day you shared your fears, your childhood, and your secrets. I loved you when you cried in my arms, and I loved you when you smiled under my touch. I’ve loved you in every goddamn moment, Kav, and I’ll continue to love you more with every new one, if you’ll let—”
“No.” I shake my head again, pulling the box to my chest as if he’s threatening to snatch it from me, all the while wanting to hurl it to the ground. “I heard you. I heard you tell Madison that we were temporary, that it was just a fling. I heard you say that it got out of hand, that we got out of hand.”
He nods. “I’m not denying what you heard. But, baby, you didn’t hear the best part. The part when I told her that, despite the fact that we started as something temporary, you’d become a permanent part of my heart. That it did get out of hand, but in the best of ways. That I couldn’t fathom not being with you, not then and not ever.”
I don’t move, don’t breathe.
Hudson watches my face, recognizing the doubt and disbelief set over my frown before he tilts his head to the box. “Don’t believe me? Look underneath the papers and you’ll find what you need. And if you don’t,” his jaw clenches, like he hasn’t considered an alternative until now, “then I’ll turn around and leave.”
My eyes drop to the box and the larger, folded papers underneath the small ones. I pull one out, unfolding it with one hand, and rest it over the open box to read.
It looks like some sort of leasing contract for an office space.
“Read the date,” Hudson demands softly, taking a step forward as slowly as one would when assessing an injured animal, so as to not alarm them.
Fresh tears find the corners of my eyes as I read the date—-almost two months ago. “Wh-what is this?”
Hudson steps closer, only a foot or two away from me. “Read the other one.”
I pull out the other paper with shaky hands, my eyes scanning the deed to a property in Portland, signed and dated a little over a month ago. Days before I left.
My chest heaves.
My heart skips.
“I’d been working on the move for well over a month before that.” He swallows, his throat bobbing under an unbuttoned collar.
“You . . .” I blink at him, my stomach feeling hollow. “You live here now?”
He nods. “I opened the Portland branch of Case Geo a couple of weeks ago.”
“But, what about . . .” I trail off, trying to collect my thoughts. “What about the ranch? What about the San Francisco office?”
He shrugs, hands still tucked into his pockets. “I decided they weren’t as important as the quitter I wanted to chase.” A smile dances on his lips. “They’ll always be there. Maddy and Brie are taking care of the ranch, and Jett took over managing the office.”
He gave the office to Jett?
He left his home, his ranch? He left Kansas?
My heart is in my throat, my voice a hoarse whisper. “You did that . . . for me?”
Hudson closes the distance between us, pulling the box from my hands and placing it on top of my car. Strong arms collect me as he slides his hands to my face, cupping my cheeks. “I’d do anything for you, Kav. Anything.”
A heated tear rolls down my cheek. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
He brushes my cheek with his thumb. “I had a plan to surprise you the night Maddy came over, but I realized later that I should have told you sooner—the moment I started the entire moving process. I fucked up, Kav. I fucked all of it up, and I’m so sorry. But,” eyes like cerulean windows mist with a mixture of anguish and hurt, the first crack in his intrepid facade, “you didn’t give me a chance to. You left before I could tell you anything.”
“So, you’ve been here for the past few weeks, but you’re just now coming to see me?”
I don’t mean to sound accusing since I’m the one who cut off our communication, but he changed his entire life and has been here all this time. Why wouldn”t he find me sooner?
The corner of his lip tips up. “It took me time to get everything settled here . . . time I didn’t want to share once I had you in my arms. And since you didn’t want me to contact you, I thought perhaps that time was something you needed, too. But I couldn’t wait any longer.”
My mouth drops open in an effort to speak, but nothing comes out. How could it when everything seems to be clicking into place, and I’m realizing that I fucked up, too. That not only did I cause myself an entire month of heartache, but him, too. That, had I stayed and given him a chance to talk to me face-to-face, we could have saved each other from this anguish.
I just assumed I knew, and I thought the worst of him.
“I-I thought I was guarding my heart. I thought you didn’t feel the same way I did.” My chin trembles with remorse. “I’m so sorry, Hudson.”
His forehead lands on mine. “This is not on you. I should have told you how I felt about you sooner. I didn’t think those three words were important, as long as my actions said enough, but I fucking failed there, too.”
A swell of panic rises inside me, and I grab his wrists, shaking my head. “You didn’t fail. What you did . . .” I swallow, sniffling, “moving here for me, showing up here today. I don’t deserve that, Hudson.”
His hands tighten on my face, his eyes steel against mine. “You deserve the fucking world, sweetheart, and I plan to give it to you.”
My eyes bounce against his, disbelief still evident in the way my hands grasp him. “So, you’re here now? Please tell me you’re here now.”
Hudson’s eyes drop to my lips before he leans in and gently presses a kiss to mine. “If you’re here, I’m here, sweetheart. I’m wherever you are.” Rare vulnerability, the kind he only reserves for me, shimmers in his gaze. “Tell me I’m fucking worth the trouble. Tell me you’ll still have me, baby girl.”
A choked sob escapes my lips as soul-stirring relief blankets my entire body.
“You’re worth more than I could possibly give you. I’ll have you and only you, Hudson Case. I’m never letting you go,” I mumble over his lips, watching his eyes squeeze shut and his chest inflate, as if he was holding his breath the whole time. “The thought of never seeing your rare smiles, never feeling your lips against mine . . . It broke me, Hudson. I’d left half of me with you. Thank you for bringing it back to me.”
His lips find mine again as he presses my back to my car, his need heavy against my abdomen. “I love you, Kav. I’d follow you to the ends of the earth if that’s what it took to be with you.”
Our lips crash together, tongues lashing against each other as I pull him into me. My legs wrap around his hips and his erection grinds against my core while his hands cup my ass.
A feverish growl escapes his lips when his hand tangles inside my hair and he pulls my head back to deepen our kiss.
I feel him inside my chest, in the depths of my soul.
We’re a frenzy of lips and tongues, growls and groans, as we rediscover each other.
We kiss until we’re both out of breath and heaving against one another before I pull back, my lips still tingling from the delicious scrape of his scruff against my skin. “Wait a minute,” I say, still trying to catch my breath, my mind buzzing with disconnected thoughts. “How did you know we were making memory boxes today?”
“It was on your flyer. I looked up a couple of videos online, and then I made it myself.”
I reel back, my hands resting on his broad chest. “You found my flyer?”
One corner of his lips lifts. “And your favorite coffee shop.”
I let out a soft gasp. “You’ve been following me? You’re . . . you’re the hot daddy Lena talks about!”
His brows furrow with confusion. “I don’t know what half of that means, but like I said, I’d follow you anywhere, if that’s what it took to be with you.”
“Yeah?” My smile turns sheepish, butterflies scattering inside my belly. “How about you follow me home, hot daddy?”
We’re barelyinside my tiny apartment before Hudson has our lips smashed together.
Parched and famished.
His tongue thrusts inside my open mouth like he’ll die if he doesn’t get to taste me. Rising up on my toes, I dig my fingers into his hair, moaning as urgent licks of heat travel up my body.
Needy. Greedy. Begging.
My hands work hastily to untuck and unbutton his shirt. In record time, I’m shoving it off him, my palms landing over his wide tattooed chest.
I break away to lay kisses over his collarbone and neck, feeling his erection flinch between us. Sliding my palm down his chest and taut abs, I grasp his cock over his pants. Hudson releases a hard breath and sways against me, as if he’s having a hard time staying steady.
His fingers lock on the hem of my shirt, tugging it over my torso before I help him take it off. His eyes flare when they rake down my exposed skin, lingering on the swell of my breasts.
He palms one sheathed breast before he pulls down the cup, his eyes flaring at the sight of my exposed and pebbled nipple. A growl escapes his lips before he leans down to take it in his mouth, sending ripples of blinding lust through my core. His hands slide up and down my torso as his lips and teeth pull at my nipple, sucking so hard I squeak in blissful agony.
Wet heat trickles into my panties as my pussy contracts. My fingers dig into his scalp. “Hudson . . .”
His fingers adeptly unbutton my jeans before he releases my nipple with a pop and falls to his knees in front of me, right at the entrance of my studio. Trailing kisses over my stomach, he tugs the denim over my wide hips and wiggles them down my thighs.
Hudson licks and sucks the expanse of skin on my thighs, groaning while he nuzzles his nose against my pussy. “Fuck, I missed you.”
His desperate movements have my panties inching down my legs and off to the side with my discarded jeans before his eyes flash, taking in my wet center. He hooks my leg over his shoulder, and that’s all the warning I get before he buries his face in between my thighs.
A cry rips from my lips when he circles my clit with the tip of his tongue, over and over until I’m panting. His hungry lips work over my soft skin, my tender lips, sucking them into his mouth before he tongues my center. Laying open-mouthed kisses over my entrance, he taps his tongue against it. Voraciously. Urgently. Relentlessly.
“Jesus Christ, your pussy is where I want to die, baby girl,” he mumbles over my skin. “You’re the only one I want on my tongue, morning, day, and night.”
I grind my pussy over his warm mouth, loving the way his teeth gently bite my skin and his stubble scrapes my thighs. My hips thrust needily, a heat wave crawling up my body, as I fist his hair with one hand and hold his shoulder with the other. “Hudson. Oh, God.”
I whimper and cry as his deft tongue plunges inside me, creating a havoc so intense, I’m threatening to detonate in seconds.
Continuing to lave my clit, his fingers find my entrance—one and two, before he inserts a third for good measure. I’m soaking wet, dripping down his hand as his fingers pummel in and out of me.
He’s eating me out and fucking me with his fingers so thoroughly, I’m trembling as I rock over him, my fingernails biting into his skin to keep me steady. I ride his face as he sucks my clit rapidly, knowing I’m close. His fingers curl inside me, and I know I’m going to come.
“Hudson!” I scream as I sway over him, my teeth grinding as the beginning of my orgasm wraps its hold around me. “God, please, keep doing that. Yes!”
Hudson’s lips, tongue, and fingers never stop as he growls, desperately eating me out until I’m tensing and arching over him. My sharp cry pierces the air as waves and shudders wrack my body, and I come hard, clamping his face between my thighs.
“Fuck, yes,” he groans, his face still buried inside me. “That’s it, baby girl, drown me inside this pussy.”
A soft mewl tumbles from my lips as uneven tremors ripple through my body before I collapse against the wall, heaving.
Hudson unhooks my leg from his shoulder before leaving a few parting kisses on my thighs, and I coax him back to his feet. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pull him to my mouth, tasting myself on his lips. We kiss as he presses his thick covered cock over my center, and I’m hungry all over again.
Our chests mesh together. My fingernails scrape down his chest, my whimpers mixing with his growls. “Hudson . . .”
“I know what you need, baby.” He smiles into our kiss, picking me up and carrying me to my bed, his raspy voice sending shivers down my spine. “And there’s nothing I want more than to give it to you.”