24. Chapter 23 #3
Ivy nodded, her smile fading as she chewed her bottom lip and looked away from him.
“You want to ask me something else, don’t you? I guess my flirting is rusty.”
“You do that a lot, huh?”
He tilted his head to the side and raised his brow. “Flirt? I’m aware.”
“It’s not, though,” she said, her posture straightening as she stared past him toward the woods for a moment before flicking her gaze back. “You use it to deflect from things you don’t want people noticing about you. If you were flirting with me right now, I’d know.”
“Do you want me to flirt with you, Ivy?” He kept his voice low, soft. All part of luring her away from their conversation.
Her pupils dilated, and she brushed a lock of her hair behind her ear. His smirk grew wider at his impending victory.
“I want you to stop deflecting.”
His smile dropped as his tactic failed. He ran a hand through his hair, too tired to attempt another diversion. “You’re right again.”
“About?”
“Practically everything.” He huffed a laugh. “I learned when I was younger that I could charm my way out of telling the truth. Over the years, I’ve refined it into a…shield, for lack of a better word. One you seem hell-bent on getting around.”
Her hand came to his forearm, her thumb brushing gently against his jacket. Warmth seeped into him, and he didn’t know if it was from her magic or simply her touch. Maybe it was both. But he wanted to sink into it, even though it’d be better for them both if he didn’t.
“I understand.” She shrugged. “To an extent, anyway. I could probably learn to be a little more discerning about what I tell people. Before Briar, I had no friends because my parents lost their magic when I was a baby. I never found out how they lost it either, only that they did one day.”
“Oh, I—”
“I’m not saying this for you to have pity on me,” she said, talking over him.
“You don’t have to say you’re sorry. One of the reasons I wanted to come to Arcania is to find out how to help them.
It was something I was bullied for constantly when I was growing up.
When Briar wanted to be my friend, I immediately said yes and told her my entire life’s story.
You don’t have much of one at fourteen. At least, you shouldn’t. ”
She paused, crossing her legs and kicking gently like she was thinking of what to say next.
“When she was gone, nobody except Betsy believed me when I said she wasn’t dead.
Everyone thought I was a conspiracy theorist. It was like I was fourteen all over again.
I didn’t want to tell anyone about it at first. I didn’t expect to.
But finding more people who believed me?
It all just poured out, like my story did to Briar. ”
Ezra’s chest caved slightly. He couldn’t help but wonder why Briar was taken first. Was something special about her? Or was she simply there? If it had been anyone else, would Ivy still be determined to find the missing students? There was no point in dwelling. The past couldn’t be changed.
“All I mean to say is…I understand why you want to push it away. But I hope you know you don’t need to do that with me. And I don’t feel like I need to with you either. Not anymore.”
His heart slowed, his breath catching in his throat as tears welled. It was trust. She was offering it so willingly and only wanted the same in return. But he’d broken people’s trust, and they’d broken his. And over the past couple of years, he learned to rely only on himself.
“Ivy,” he whispered. He cleared his throat. “My family is dangerous, and they’re always watching me. The more we’re intertwined, the more they’ll see you. They’ll find everything there is to know. They could hurt you. Putting your trust in me isn’t the wisest choice.”
“You can’t make my choices for me,” she said. Defiant as always. He wouldn’t expect anything else. He wouldn’t want anything else.
“I’m well aware,” he said, his hand moving to cover hers. “But I’m giving it to you anyway. Once he sees you as a problem, he will do everything he can to make you go away. Tell me to get lost. I’ll leave you alone, and I’ll keep quiet about what you’re doing.”
Ivy shook her head. “It’s too late for that.”
“It’s not,” he said. “I can make sure they won’t fi—”
“That’s not what I meant,” she interrupted, her hand squeezing him gently. “It’s too late because I don’t want you gone. Had you said it a month ago, it’d probably be a different story. But I want you here. Even when you annoy me. Even when we argue. Maybe you were right in that I enjoy the fight.”
“Alright, snapdragon,” he chuckled. He could get used to hearing he was right about things. “Then you’ll have me.”
Except he wasn’t right about this. He should know better. He needed to hide the truth of the disappearances from her and protect her from the inevitability of the power his father would unleash thanks to his own actions.
Maybe his father, Declan, and Silas were all right. His feelings were his weakness because his attraction to her crossed into dangerous territory, and he was petrified. Not for himself. But for her.
God, he was so fucked.