42. Chapter 41
She exhaled shakily as her name was called. Pulling back from Ezra, she stared beyond him at the mirror waiting for her in the center of the room. Her hands dropped to her sides, her palms clammy, and she tried wiping them on her clothes. It didn’t help.
“You can do this,” Ezra whispered.
Ivy glanced back at him and grinned, but the corners of her lips barely turned up.
Not because of his words. They were kind.
The fear lining every inch of her mind overshadowed it, though.
She was terrified of what the mirror would say.
Worse was she couldn’t avoid it. They needed to finish what they started, and even if she could back out, she wouldn’t be able to face the others after their secrets had been revealed.
The cowardice of it would swallow her whole.
Ivy stepped around Ezra and smiled faintly at Maeve and Liam as they offered their encouragement. Rhea was silent, leaning against the back wall and her eyes fixed on the floor. She must be frightened too after hearing it all. With one last step, she took her place in front of the mirror.
Her reflection faded into view all around her, and the hairs stood up on the back of her neck.
It was as if she were looking at herself, and not at the same time.
Whatever magic was trapped inside the glass wore her face, her hair, clothes.
It even had the same straight posture. Everything was right, except for the eyes.
The deepest black filled every crevice, leaving a thin sheen of sweat over her body.
Behind her reflection was a shadow, hovering over her shoulder.
She checked quickly, but there was nothing there.
“Look at you, Ivy Heartwell,” her reflection hissed with its mouth forming a sneer. “You’re at the school you’ve always wanted to go to. Making new friends. More than friends.”
Heat stung her cheeks. “So?” she asked, her voice wavering as she tried to prepare herself for what could come next.
“You’re getting everything you’ve ever wanted. A chance at a better life. To leave your old one behind in the dust. Briar. Your parents. You didn’t hesitate to accept.”
“That’s not true,” Ivy said. “If you haven’t noticed, I haven’t left anyone behind. Hell, I’m only here to get Briar back and figure out how to help my parents all at the same time.”
“Begrudgingly,” the reflection spat. “How many times have you forgotten about them since being here, hmm? How many times have you gotten swept up in this new, artificial life you have and forgotten who helped you get here?”
A memory flickered in her mind. A conversation she had with Rhea about how that moment at lunch was normal.
Or at Halloween, where it took complete strangers to remind her of why she was at the party.
She thought of her time with Ezra—how she’d been infatuated with him as if more important things weren’t happening.
Guilt gnawed at her insides for it, for relishing in the simplicity.
“You sound like Briar.” The words tumbled out before she could stop them, and she covered her mouth with her hand. She watched as the reflection flickered—her red hair flashing to matted blonde curls and back.
“Good. You needed a reminder of who your true friend is.”
“Why are you saying these things?” Ivy asked, crossing her arms. “Yes, I have new friends. But that takes nothing away from what I have with Briar.”
“Yet before you got your acceptance letter, you were ready to give her up. You were going to abandon your best friend to her fate.”
Ivy’s chin wobbled as she remembered all those months ago when she was bringing the box of Briar’s things to the post office. It was true. She was ready to get back to her normal life. To move on. “Everyone else had.”
“You’re not everyone else.” The reflection flickered again before it finally transformed into a twisted version of Briar. “Not to me.”
Tears sprung as Briar’s weak voice echoed through the chamber instead of her own. In the mirror, a gaunt, bloodied image of Briar stood. Her once beautiful hair was dull and matted. “Briar, is it really you?”
“Does it matter? If you hadn’t been accepted into Arcania, would you have sent my things back to my parents? Forget I existed?”
“I…”
“Would you have left me to die?” the reflection asked, its voice louder and stronger.
“No, bu—”
“Just say it, Ivy! You didn’t want me to come back.”
“That’s no—”
“SAY IT!” the voice shouted, over and over.
Ivy squeezed her eyes shut, trying to hold back tears. They still flowed down her cheeks. “FINE!” she shouted back, cutting through the noise.
“Say. It.”
“Of course, I wanted you to come back, Briar.” She wiped her tears fruitlessly with the back of her hand. “I did all I could to help find you. But I was tired!”
“Tired?” The reflection of Briar scoffed. “Take a nap if you need your rest so badly.”
“Not physically tired. Mentally. Emotionally. I was the only person left who cared that you were gone. Your parents, the police, everyone claimed you were dead. They had a funeral, for fuck’s sake.”
“They’re not exactly parents of the year. I expect nothing less from them. But from you? You made a blood oath to protect me.”
“God forbid I wanted to move on with my life!” she cried out.
The reflection flickered again. “I was treated as if I were crazy for believing a dead girl was still alive, even though the police allegedly found the body. The guilt of how I hadn’t been here to help you last year stuck with me every single day.
I’ve spent all semester putting myself in danger playing your goddamn games to figure out what all of this is for instead of you telling me like a real friend would! ”
She panted, her breath coming heavily. Still, it was easier than it had been in months, with those words finally out in the open. They were ones she barely dared to think of. If she were honest, they had threatened to boil over for who knows how long. Maybe even before Briar went missing.
But her chest was hollow. It left a gaping wound in her chest that may never heal. She crumpled in on herself, her knees hitting the floor with a sharp thud, and sobbed.
“You can cry all you like. Now she sees how you really feel,” the reflection said, the voice and image back to her own. “She knows she’s a burden to you. Just like your parents. A responsibility you never asked for. Never wanted.”
“Nobody is a burden.” She would be adamant about that, even if she was in front of the mirror for hours. “I love my parents. I love Briar. And I want to help them. But I also want to live my life for myself.”
She stared at the mirror beneath her, and the reflection shook its head. “That choice was taken from you. Even before you met Briar and before you completed the ritual.”
“What do you mean?” The reflection was already fading away. She slapped her hands against the glass. “Come back! Come back!”
“You have faced your true self. Please step away from the mirror.”
“No!” Ivy begged, tears splashing on the glass beneath her. “Come back, please!”
No matter how much she pleaded, the mirrors remained empty. Three pairs of hands were on her, helping her stand, but gravity pulled her back.
“It’s okay. We got you,” Maeve murmured. “We’re here.”
Once she was on her feet, Ezra pulled her close to his body, letting her lean some of her weight on him. “Are you alright to walk? I can carry you if yo—”
“It’s okay,” she mumbled, wiping her hand against her cheek. “Just…don’t leave me.”
“Never.” He pressed a kiss to the top of her head as he helped her.
They moved slowly away from the mirror. She wasn’t sure she’d look at her own mirror the same way again after tonight. When she closed her eyes, she could still picture the distorted image of her and Briar.
“Rhea Li, stand before the mirror to acknowledge your true self.”
But there was no movement. Rhea was frozen in place, her arms wrapped tight around her body and her lips quivering.
“Rhea, are you al—”
“I…I can’t,” Rhea whispered, her gaze darting between them before shaking her head. “I can’t do it.”
“We won’t get outta here ‘til you do,” Maeve said, walking over to Rhea and placing a hand on her shoulder.
Even though her voice was calm, there was an edge to it.
They were all in pain thanks to the mirror and ready to get the hell out of this room.
“You got this. And whatever it says, we’re here to help you. But you’ve got to do it.”
Rhea paused, her face twisting as she thought it over. She shook her head again.
“If we all got emotionally tormented, so do you,” Liam said dryly. “Please. The sooner you get it over with, the sooner we can bloody leave this room.”
“Rhea Li, step forward.”
“Fine,” Rhea mumbled, stepping away from Maeve and toward the mirror. She paused before standing fully in front of it. Her hands squeezed tightly, and her shoulders heaved as she took a deep breath. Then, with one last step, the mirror reflected her image.
“Ahhh, well, well, well. Isn’t it the devil witch all grown up?” her reflection sneered.
“Don’t call me that.”
“And why not? It’s still fitting after all these years.”
“No, it isn’t,” Rhea said, her voice thick with tears. “I’m better than I was.”
The reflection tutted its tongue. “Lying is pointless. Your wrongful actions set events in motion that will unravel the world. And for what? Revenge?”
“She ruined my life.” Rhea curled in on herself, trying to shrink away from the reflection, but there was nowhere for her to hide. “‘Devil Witch’ was all anyone would call me until I came here!”
“And why would that be?”
“I…” Rhea paused and sighed. “There were some resurrection rituals I wanted to try outside of school that I found in the library. I thought I had hidden them well, but I was spotted with them. Eventually, that spread around school, and everyone was calling me a devil witch. It wasn’t long before I found dead animals in my locker.
Or in my bag. There was one on my doorstep once. All with that name carved in them.”