Chapter 43
Libby
“The new Amara Rose book is coming in today,” Summer says, tapping her finger to her lips.
“Sounds like a lot of boxes,” Tom mumbles.
“Are you thinking a front table or–” Summer asks but I shake my head.
“Let’s just front face it in section. Three copies and put the rest in the back,” I answer.
“Put Amara Rose in the back?” Summer asks like it’s the most absurd thing I could have said. “You do know she’s a best seller right? And we ordered signed copies.”
“Fine then,” I say a little shortly. “Throw her on an endcap. But we don’t need an entire table dedicated to a fake relationship trope!”
“I’m no Einstein in the subject,” Tom cuts in. “But I think that might be one of the most popular tropes in the rom-com genre. I second Summer than a table might be the most lucrative–”
“It’s a book based on lies,” I cut both of them off, my hands waving dramatically to drive my point. “And who bases a relationship on lies? It’s a bullshit way to start a romance.”
After the words fly out of my mouth and both of my co-workers just stand there staring at me, I realize how crazy I sound. Summer’s lips plump in a small pout. “I hate that you don’t believe in love anymore.”
“I never said I don’t believe in love,” I correct her, preoccupying myself with organizing the bookmark tree. “I’m just kind of all romanced out.”
“That’s just as sad,” Summer says.
“It’s a myth anyways,” Tom starts in and Summer groans.
“Tom, now is not the time for your evolutionist theories on how people are more like monkeys than lobsters so monogamy isn’t realistic or whatever scientific sadness you listened to on a recent podcast.”
“Science is forever,” he goes on. “Romance is fleeting.”
“No,” she snaps back. “Looks are fleeting. Love is forever.”
“Nothing is forever,” I mumble and Summer walks over to me.
“Don’t talk like that. You’re spiraling all because the man made a really dumb mistake. But that’s all it was. Dumb. It wasn’t malicious. It wasn’t meant to hurt you.”
“He lied about who he was,” I remind her.
“Not who he was,” she argues. “Only his name.”
“Only his intentions,” Tom says which in no way supports the point Summer is trying to make. “Which is again why monogamy makes no sense for humans because we are bred to multiply, not to–”
“Tom!” Summer snaps and he stops. Then he picks up a stack of books about trees and walks to the back of the store. “Don’t listen to him, Libby. Romance and love are real. And so are soulmates, even if they are a little messy sometimes.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose and let out a frustrated sigh.
“Don’t you think I want to just forgive him?
But it’s not just about forgiving, Summer.
It’s about believing. For years I have been lied to by men which just goes to show I have always only ever been a means to an end for them.
I have no reason to believe that this time is any different. ”
“Listen you talking about reason,” Summer sighs too while walking over to the romance section. “No one in any of these books gives a shit about reason.”
“No one in those books are real,” I say flatly, pulling a chocolate bar out of my bag and ripping the wrapper open with my teeth.
I take a bite before going on. “They are fake people in fake scenarios that are all about tension and none of those people would actually get married in the end because they’d kill each other.
” I take another bite and wait for her to add to that.
Summer’s face lights up, which is very much not the reaction I was expecting.
“Exactly. They’re people who beat the odds all without losing a sense of self, because in the real world, that’s what we like to believe can happen.
That love can beat the odds no matter what.
And be funny and wild and spicy at the same time.
I’m sorry, Libby. But Amara Rose is getting a whole end cap because I for one haven’t been on a decent date in a year and a half, and it’s books like these that keep my faith in love burning! ”
“Hashtag you-go-girl,” Tom says from somewhere in the back with little to no actual emotion.
I want to tell myself that maybe Summer is right.
Maybe I am being too pessimistic about all of this.
But the one thing I told myself I would never do again is fall for a guy who hurt me.
A guy with red flags and ill intentions.
Even if he is the sweetest man I’ve ever met.
And the sex is great. And he makes me feel beautiful. And I love his girls.
“Miss Libby!” As if it was on cue, the front door clamors and my heart swoops in my chest, because I’d know those voices anywhere.
I turn around to see Delilah and Poppy scampering towards me.
Poppy is holding a bright yellow envelope above her head and Delilah is waving a bouquet of colorful flowers.
“Oh, my goodness, what is all this?” I ask, coming to my knees as they rush me.
“We brought flowers,” Delilah says, holding them out to me.
“Well, they’re just beautiful,” I smile as I take them from her.
“And a card. There’s a card too!” Poppy holds the envelope so close to my face that it touches my nose, and I laugh.
“Well thank you. But what’s all of this for? It’s not my birthday yet, you girls didn’t have to get me anything.”
“Oh, they’re not from us,” Delilah says.
“They’re from Daddy…” Poppy whispers.
My heart just keeps losing altitude.
“Oh,” I say. I’m doing my best to smile but I’d be lying if I said it was easy.
“Are you going to forgive him?” Delilah asks and my chest thumps hard.
“Did he tell you to come in here?” I ask, suddenly wondering if this is a set up. He knows I can’t resist the girls and would never turn them away the way I might turn him away. If that was his plan, it’s fucking dirty. But also…it’s working. I don’t want them to leave.
“He wanted to buy you flowers,” Delilah says.
“And we wanted to see you,” Poppy adds.
Sigh.
“Well, I’m glad you came,” I say with a sniff. Because my ability to hide back tears is no match for these two. “Why don’t you go up to the counter and Summer will give you both a lollipop.”
“A lollipop!” Poppy squeals and hurries away.
I am staring down at the envelope which, now that I look at it, has his handwriting on it, not the girls.
’ I smell the flowers and do my best to swim with my head above water in the emotions I am feeling about all of this.
Then I realize Delilah is still standing in front of me.
“What’s the matter, sweetie? You don’t want a lollipop?” I ask.
“He wants you to go on a date,” she says. “That’s what he wrote in the card. I know it because I saw it. He was sitting at the table, and it took him a real long time to write. Are you going to go with him?”
“I…I mean I don’t–”
“He’s never happy anymore. Not since she died. He acts like he is but…it’s not the same. I don’t think anything has been the same.”
I swallow hard but the tears surface anyway. Honestly, I don’t really care. What I am feeling is real and she deserves to see that. “You know…my mom died when I was a kid too.”
Delilah looks up at me. “She did?”
“Yes,” I smile shakily.
“Do you miss her?” she asks.
My voice cracks. “Every day.”
“I miss my mom every day too,” she says sadly.
“But you know what? You have a great aunt who loves you very much. And your dad is the best.”
“He is,” she looks up at me. “So, are you going to go out with him?”
Poppy is back with a lollie in her mouth and one in her hand for her sister.
“I’ll think about it,” I tell Delilah. Outside the window I see Jenna waving, and I wave back. I wait until the girls are gone to let my guard down, plopping into one of the chairs.
“Oof,” Summer says as she walks up to me.
Yeah, oof.
“Are you going to open it?”
“I don’t want to. But I feel like I have to.”
“After all that? I’d say so,” she agrees.
And so, I open it.
Libby,
I want to start over. If that’s even possible. I want to take you out the way I should have in the beginning. No games. No lies. Just me showing you what you mean to me.
Dax
My mouth twists as I fight to hold it together and shove the card back in the envelope. Then I look at the flowers, and a tear falls from my eye onto one of the roses.
So much for romance being dead.