Chapter 20
TWENTY
ROMAN
Cas insists we do this in my apartment instead of his. “Trust me” was the only reasoning he gave, along with a knowing smirk. I don’t really care where we do this, I just want to get it over with and know that Loch is safely on the other side of it.
Jareth squeezes my hand as Loch lies down on the bed and Cassius climbs on after him.
An involuntary growl rumbles in my throat and my wolf pushes towards the surface, demanding that we protect our mate, claim him, keep Cassius’s and everyone else’s hands off of him.
Except for Jareth, obviously. My wolf is perfectly happy to let Jareth touch him.
“It’s okay,” Jare murmurs, soothing my wolf by leaning in closer and rubbing his cheek against mine, scenting me the way I’ve scented him a million times.
“Relax. I’m not interested in fucking your mate,” Cas says in a bored tone.
“My wolf still doesn’t like it.” I growl, vibrating with the effort it takes to keep myself in human form as the vampire crawls on top of Loch.
“Wait.” Loch stops Cas before he can sink his teeth in. “Will I smell different after this?”
“Well, yeah, that’s the point. You won’t smell like fae anymore.”
“No, I mean…” Loch cranes his neck to look over Cas’s shoulder at Jareth and me standing together at the foot of the bed, holding our breath, waiting until it’s our turn to take care of him.
His eyes meet mine and I see an ocean of worry inside them.
“You smelled me before I was turned and you never thought I was your mate. Cas is basically remaking me, right? So, what if I smell… different.”
My heart fractures for him, for all the uncertainty and fear I can hear in his voice and smell in his scent.
Jareth squeezes my hand again, and even though I don’t have the same burgeoning connection with him to be able to feel threads of his emotions like I can with Loch, I’m sure he’s feeling the same thing I am.
He wishes Cas weren’t here so we could properly reassure our mate.
“That’s not how fated mates work, love,” I say. “I promise it will be okay.”
He holds my gaze for another long second before he nods and relaxes back into position, staring up at the ceiling, bracing himself to be drained.
“Ready?” Cas checks.
“As I’ll ever be.” Loch chuckles. “It’s funny, I wasn’t this nervous when I—”
LOCH
—was turned. I guess I know what I have to lose this time. The rest of my words are lost to thoughts that vanish from my brain as soon as they form as Cas sinks his fangs into my throat, and the venom in his bite makes me drowsy.
More than drowsy; my vision is starting to get fuzzy like I’m looking into this room through a tunnel that’s only getting longer.
And I feel weak, so weak. Shit. My heart doesn’t beat anymore, but I have a sudden, visceral memory of how it felt when that vampire at the bar drained me, the way my pulse got slower and slower, and I started to feel so alone and fucking terrified.
The memory itself is hazy now, even though it wasn’t that long ago, but I remember the realization that came over me in that moment—that the vampire might not be turning me at all, he might just be feeding on me, and maybe I would die alone on a dirty bathroom floor.
Panic starts to override the drowsiness, and my body acts on instinct, bucking and flailing under Cassius’s weight. His teeth stay lodged in my flesh, but my movements force them to drag and tear, sending sparks of pain through me.
I’m going to die.
He’s going to kill me.
I let out an inhuman screech, clawing at him.
“Shh, shh, Lochlan. It’s okay. It’s okay, love.” Roman’s deep, soothing voice breaks through the panicked fog.
“We’re here, Lochy. We’re going to feed you when he’s done, and you’ll be just fine,” Jareth says, and I feel his fingers gently brush against my cheek before my whole body starts to go numb.
I’m so tired.
I can’t move anymore. Can’t keep my eyes open. Can’t be bothered to care that maybe I really am dying. I’ve only been a vampire for a few weeks and this is the third time I’ve almost died. It’s funny when you think about it. So funny. I’m supposed to live forever with Roman and Jareth. Forever.
Everything is dark now, but I hear voices. They sound strange and far away, and I’m too tired to try to understand what they’re saying, but something about their words feels reassuring anyway.
“Is he supposed to look like that?” Jareth sounds anxious. Sweet Jareth.
“He’s literally dead.” Cas sounds bored.
Funny. I think I like Cas, even if he’s killed me.
Can a vampire die like this? I probably should have asked.
“Once he gets some of your blood in him, he’ll wake up and start to feed on his own, but you’ll have to pour it into his mouth at first. And be careful once he’s awake; his survival instincts will be at the forefront until his body feels he’s gotten enough blood. ”
“Wait, where are you going? You’re not going to stay in case anything goes wrong?” Roman’s voice feels like an anchor even more than Jareth’s does, like he’s holding me in this world with it without even having to try.
“Believe me, once he’s fed, you won’t want me here. And nothing will go wrong. A vamp could stay in stasis without blood like this for thousands of years if they had to. He’ll be fine. Have fun.”
I hear footsteps and some kind of clicking sound. The door closing, maybe?
“Have fun?” Jareth mutters. “What the fuck does that mean?”
“No clue,” Roman says. Seconds later, I smell something. Something warm and delicious. Blood, blood, blood. Need.
“Wait, you already fed him at breakfast, let me go first.”
“It’s fine. The small amount of blood I gave him has replenished, plus I already opened my vein. It’s easier.”
Yes. Blood. Give. Now.
“You’re not going first because it’s easier. You’re trying to protect me. He won’t hurt me.”
“I know he won’t hurt you, Jare. I’m worried—” Roman huffs, and I’m starting to get impatient, but I can’t do a damn thing about it except lie here and wait for his blood to touch my lips, to flow over my tongue and down my throat, reviving me, filling me, giving me life again.
“You’re worried I’m going to freak out?” Jareth scoffs.
“No, baby, I’m worried that the second blood touches his lips, he’s going to wake up as a ravenous beast, unable to control his impulses until he has you half-drained. You can’t lose as much blood as I can.”
“I know I can’t, but that doesn’t mean I can’t take care of myself.”
A second blood scent fills the air, and this one carries the extra sweetness of magic in it.
Drip, drip, drip, so warm against my cold skin, so salty and sweet as it splashes on my lips before I feel the full press of soft flesh against my mouth.
My gums throb, but I still can’t move. I can’t even swallow at first. All I can do is let the warm, delicious offering fill up my mouth until it runs down my throat.
The warmth of it filling my belly dredges up another distant memory from my human life, of Jare and me at a bar on our third date, doing shots and laughing together.
The alcohol felt like this, burning my throat as it slid down and warming my gut.
My tongue moves, lapping up the blood that continues to pour into my mouth, and then my lips start to tingle and I’m able to move them again.
Blood. Need more.
More.
More.
I latch on to the soft, fleshy arm right in front of me and sink my teeth in to keep it from going anywhere.
“Oh.” That voice sounds surprises. It’s a voice I recognize, but right now, all I know is feeding, filling my belly, replacing what was drained.
“Loch, it’s us. Take it easy on Jareth’s arm.”
Jareth, I know that name.
Love.
Never hurt.
I pry my eyes open and see him there, with his beautiful silver hair and his eyes shining with the purple of his magic. He raises his other arm and runs his fingers through my hair.
“It’s okay, Lochy, we’re here. Take what you need.”
It’s an offering, a gift. He wants his blood to sustain me.
For the first time, I recognize two separate sides of myself; a beast driven by bloodlust, willing to keep drinking from Jareth even though I can hear his heart rate starting to get thready and uneven and I can see his skin becoming pale, and the Lochlan I’ve always been, who would never do anything to hurt his mates.
An animalistic screech tears from my throat as I wrench my teeth out of his arm.
I lave my tongue quickly over the puncture wounds to help them heal, and just as my control starts to fray and my wild need for more blood rushes back to the forefront, Roman is there, crawling on top of me, guiding my face towards his throat.
“Keep feeding, love, it’s okay,” he assures me, hissing and then groaning as I sink my fangs into his flesh.
I moan as more hot blood flows into my mouth, rich and earthy this time.
I drink.
And drink.
And as my belly starts to get full and my body feels strong and satiated again, a different kind of lust stirs inside me. It’s just as strong as the bloodlust, just as desperate.
Need.
Need.
Need.
I extract my fangs from Roman’s throat and lap at his torn flesh, but not to heal his wounds like I did with Jareth.
Roman’s a shifter, his wounds will heal on their own, but I want to taste him.
I want his earthy cinnamon taste on my tongue along with the intoxicating flavor of his blood.
I want his moans, I want his pleasure, I want his knot.
“Fuck me,” I moan, tearing at his clothes as I drag wet, sloppy, open-mouthed kisses up and down the column of his throat. Jareth’s perfect lavender scent tickles my nose, and my cock throbs harder. “Jare,” I gasp. “Need you too.”
“We’re here,” he murmurs, and his voice sounds close.