Chapter 12 Gavin
Gavin
“I love my kids,” Elias tells me as he plants his feet on the grass. Well, the patch of astroturf. “But an afternoon away is pretty great.”
We are at TopGolf, which is not exactly the same as being out on the golf course. Of course, I’m not a golf cart kind of guy. I’m more of a swing a couple times and drink beer between turns kind of guy, which is why my brother and I come here instead.
“Would be even better if you actually got near one of the holes,” I tell him while sipping a Guinness.
I’m leaning back on the couch, one leg crossed over the other, my left arm resting on the back of the couch.
It’s a warm day for January in Denver, sixty, I think. The sun and crisp air are refreshing.
“Says the man who may have hit the net on his last swing,” Elias says through parted lips and a focused stare.
“Don’t be jealous that I can drive the ball further than you,” I say.
“Is that what it’s called? Driving?” he asks before swinging. The club hits the ball hard and sends it sailing.
“I mean, the club is called a driver,” I say.
“My kids kick my ass at frisbee golf on the Wii,” he says, scanning the green for his ball with no luck. I think it’s safe to say we aren’t golf men. “I think it’s halftime,” he says, walking over to join me on the couch with a beer.
I rest my case.
“So, how are the kids?” I ask. “I’ve been running around like a chicken with its head cut off ever since Ben got engaged, and I feel like I haven’t seen them in ages.”
“They’re good,” he says. “Feral and growing.” I grin at that.
“I can’t believe Brody is eight,” I say.
“Second grade,” he nods as he swallows a sip of beer. “Evie is going to be in kindergarten.”
“So you did decide to put her in school this coming year,” I say.
Elias runs his hand through his dark, curly hair. It’s longer than mine, wavier too. Elias is thinner and lankier than I am. He is only a couple of years younger; I feel like he looks ten years younger. Crazy considering he’s a dad.
“Oh yeah,” he grins, sucking his teeth. “She’s ready. Heck, she’s been reading Dr. Seuss since she was four.”
“Sounds like she got her brains from Bethany,” I say, and he flips me off. “And a baby on the way,” I add.
“A boy,” he says, and my eyes widen. Elias and Bethany have always been old-school about gender reveals. They like the surprise.
“Another boy?” I ask, sitting up straight. My brother grins goofily from across the table between us.
“Yep.”
“Congrats man, that’s awesome,” I say, clinking my beer glass to his.
“Yeah, it’s wild,” he says.
“So, what made you want to find out?” I ask.
“It was Bethany’s idea. I guess after two kids she realized it’s kind of nice to know what to expect. That and he turned on the camera during the ultrasound and we’ve been to enough pre-natal visits to know what we are looking at.”
“Outdoor plumbing,” I say, and we both laugh.
“You got it,” he says, taking another slug of his beer before refilling it from the tabletop mini-keg.
Another reason I love this place. “Yeah, at first Bethany almost cried at the idea of finding out early. It’s like breaking a tradition, you know?
She’s also never even wanted to talk about names until she sees the baby’s face.
But the second the tech confirmed we were having a boy, Evie blurted out the name Oliver, and that was that. ”
“I love it,” I say, still grinning. “I’m happy for you. I almost miss it.”
“Really?”
“Almost…” I say, and we both laugh again.
“Thanks man,” Elias says before turning the conversational wheel in my direction. “So, what’s new with you? Besides micromanaging your son’s wedding.”
“That would be Charlotte,” I say.
“Charlotte?”
“The wedding planner Holly hired.”
“Ah,” he nods. “Why does that name sound familiar?”
“Because it’s the same name as the girl I hooked up with about a month ago,” I tell him.
“Sweater Dress?” he asks.
“The one and only,” I answer, refilling my beer.
“How funny. What are the odds of having two Charlottes in your life? Bethany would call that fate.”
“Well, it’s only one Charlotte,” I say, and he narrows his eyes at me. When the dots don’t connect on their own, I give him a hand. “It’s the same Charlotte.”
He blinks. “Wait. Sweater Dress girl is the wedding planner?”
I nod.
“Holy shit,” he half laughs. “Does Ben know?”
I shake my head mid sip. “Absolutely not.”
“Yeah, because that would be awkward,” he says.
“Oh trust me, it’s awkward enough without him knowing. She’s closer to his age than mine,” I say, staring at the foam on the beer.
“I think you mentioned that,” Elias says.
“I really wasn’t expecting to see her again. I mean, what are the odds?” I ask.
“Slim to none,” he answers.
“Yeah.”
“So is she still the sticky note and checklist girl you described before?” he asks.
“Worse,” I chuckle. “It means she’s great at her job, but it wouldn’t kill her to loosen up a little.”
“You mean you didn’t loosen her up enough before?” he teases.
“She’s just so…” I scratch my head trying to think of the right word. Funny thing about Charlotte is that she makes it hard for me to think of the right words. “Interesting. Like she’s very Hermione Granger meets Elle Woods,” I say, and he grins.
“I love that description.”
“I know there’s something else under there. Like she wants to kick her shoes off, but has never tried.”
“Maybe she just needs a little help with the shoestrings,” he says.
“Listen, brother. I’ve tried. I’m trying. But everything I do or say seems to wind her up even more. It’s kind of fun, honestly…” I smile as memories flash through my mind. “I don’t know. I feel like everywhere I turn, there she is. I don’t hate it.”
There’s a quiet moment where we sip our beer and watch the other people around us for a moment. Then Elias pulls me back into the conversation.
“You think you could ever fall in love again?” he asks. Elias wears his heart on his sleeve and Bethany is his soulmate. I know that feeling, but for me it’s gone.
“Allie was it for me,” I answer quickly.
“She’s been gone for a while,” he says gently.
“Doesn’t change anything,” I say.
“You know…Bethany and I, especially since having kids, we talk about the what ifs. What if my job transfers me and we have to go to Europe? What if Evie gets into an Ivy League school and the other two don’t even want to go to college? What if something happens to one of us?”
“Where are you going with this?” I ask a little defensively. Because any time the subject of Allie comes up, I get a little touchy, like a pufferfish. Losing my wife to a drunk driver will never not be a sore subject.
“We both agreed that while we could never see our lives without each other, neither of us would want the other to be alone if something did happen. Not forever. I wonder if Allie would feel the same?”
I chew my lip thinking about that. We actually had that conversation years ago. The thing is, I never actually thought it would happen.
“She would,” I say after a long, unhurried moment. Elias might be candid, but he’s never pushy.
“How do you feel about that?” he asks.
“About dating again?”
“Dating…falling in love.”
“I could date. I have dated,”
“Dating and hooking up aren’t the same,” he says with a small, one-sided smirk.
“Tomato, tomato.”
“More like apples and oranges,” he says. “I don’t know, brother. I get that it’s gut-wrenching, but I’d also love to see you happy again.”
“I am happy,” I say casually, though my eyes don’t fully meet his.
“Alright,” he says, finally giving up. “I’m sure when it’s time, love will find you. And when it does, you’ll be just as helpless as you were the first time.”