Chapter 29
Charlotte
Pro tip for attending the bridal shower of the bride of your ex-boyfriend?
Take advantage of the free things: free drinks, free massages, free facials, and free pedicures.
When it’s time to watch the bride open her gifts, it’s best to partake in the free chocolates provided by the bride’s mother. Heavily.
“Oh my god, this one has rhinestones!” Holly exclaims as she pulls out the third bra and panty set of the night from a bag. I take that as my sign to pull another raspberry truffle from the box I have claimed as mine.
“And a G-string,” one of her bridesmaids wiggles her eyebrows. I move on to the nut clusters.
“Ben is seriously going to freak out when he sees you in these,” another bridesmaid says. “In a good way, of course.”
“I have to say,” Ben’s sister, Madison, cut in, her words are so slurred from prosecco that she’s practically talking in cursive.
“I wasn’t expecting to see so much leather and lace at the bridal shower.
I’m having to use all the therapy I’ve ever paid for to mentally block myself from thinking about you and my brother together.
I think it’s time for you to open something that’s not for the bedroom. ”
“Amen,” I say as I bite into a cluster, then stop, realizing that I actually said it out loud. “For Madison’s sake, I mean.”
“Okay, okay, I’ll open yours next,” Holly says, tearing into the box from Madison. Her brow furrows as she examines its contents. “A morning-after package?” she asks, reading the card attached.
“It’s not the way it sounds,” Madison says. “It’s a care package.”
Holly pulls everything out piece by piece. “Bubble bath, aspirin, electrolytes, and a gift card for The Waffle House,” she laughs.
“Wedding nights usually contain a lot of booze, and booze equals hangovers. Everyone knows french toast is the universal cure for that,” Madison explains. “But there’s still one more thing at the bottom there.”
Holly digs deeper and a moment later pulls out, “A pregnancy test kit!?” She cries out and everyone laughs.
“Yes. Because while I have no interest in being a mother myself, I fully expect to be an auntie. The sooner the better,” she says, and the room explodes. I don’t know what’s worse, talking about Ben and Holly having sex or talking about Ben and Holly having a baby.
Either way, I’m not really interested. It’s too weird. So I clear my throat and grab my box. “You have one last gift, Holly,” I say over all the chatter. She smiles, taking the box from me.
“Awe, Charlotte. You didn’t have to get me anything. You’re already doing so much,” she says as she pulls the ribbon.
“I always get gifts for my brides. And when I saw this one–”
“Oh. My. God,” she blurts, and everyone gasps as she holds it up.
“I know you said you couldn’t find a veil you liked, but you really wanted to wear one. So I looked at a couple of shops and found one that I thought would go with–”
“It’s perfect for my dress,” she says, and I smile softly. “Charlotte, I have no words,” she says, standing up to hold the veil higher.
“Try it on,” her mom says, moving behind Holly to pin it in her hair. Everyone gasps, and Holly beams. Then she walks over and gives me a hug.
“You are an amazing wedding planner,” she says with a sniff. “Honestly, you’ve become a true friend to me during all this. My wedding is going to be perfect, and it’s all thanks to you.”
She hugs me again before turning back to the mirror.
“You should try it on with the dress,” one of the bridesmaids says, and everyone agrees.
My eyes are filling with tears too, but I’m not sure what all I’m feeling.
I am a little unsure. The only thing I’m sure of right now is that the box I have been hoarding for myself is out of chocolates.
I decide to go outside to collect my thoughts.
I don’t know if I really want to see Holly in that dress that I envision myself wearing in my nonexistent wedding.
The door closes behind me, and the night air hits me like a million little needles.
It’s only then that I realize that the tears have already spilled.
I’m not sure what has come over me, but I know that my head is spinning and I need to sit down.
I need to sit down right here and right now because my legs are giving out.
I feel strong arms wrap around me, pulling me into their embrace.
“Easy, easy, are you okay?” Gavin asks, and the next thing I know I am burying my face in his chest. “What happened?”
“I don’t know. I feel like I can’t breathe,” I sob.
“It’s okay,” he shushes me gently, holding me firmly but softly against him.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” I sniff, wiping my nose on my wrist and hoping I didn’t get any snot on his sweater.
“I do,” he says, and I blink tearfully, looking up at him.
“You do?” I ask.
“Well yeah. It’s obvious,” he says, and I hold my breath. Suddenly I wonder how long he’s been standing here. What did he hear? Did I say anything about Ben when I walked outside? I know I was blubbering and have a tendency to speak my thoughts aloud. Of course, I am usually alone.
“It is?” I ask.
“Yes. You have been planning every detail of this wedding and you’re exhausted,” he says.
“Oh. Yeah. I mean, yes. I’m exhausted,” I say.
“Charlotte, honey, you don’t have to feel ashamed about that.
Even the best wedding planner on the planet would be overwhelmed by this one,” he smiles.
I am caught by the way he called me, honey.
“Sometimes having a bride who is indifferent to everything almost makes it harder. But you know what I think?” he asks.
He’s not entirely right about why I am so upset right now.
He can’t because I can’t tell him the truth.
I can’t tell him I want the dress Holly is wearing on her wedding day, and I certainly can’t tell him he’s my ex’s father.
But I do want to know what he thinks because somehow, I believe it can make things better.
“What’s that?” I whisper as my voice becomes less shaky.
“You need a break,” he says simply, and I chuckle a little.
“Right. I don’t think it works that way. Pretty sure I’m on the clock until your son and his bride run off into the sunset.”
“Well, I’m your boss, and I say you need to take ten,” Gavin says. “I know exactly where you’re going to take it. Go put on some warm clothes and meet me back out here.”
“What are you talking about?” I ask. “It’s the middle of the night.”
“Which is why we have to hurry. The moon is finally out from behind the clouds, so the view is perfect,” he says.
“The view?” I ask, still lost.
“Warm clothes!” he says, shooing me away. With nothing else to do, I head towards my cabin to put more clothes on.
When I come back, I’m in jeans, a long sleeve, a jacket, gloves and a hat. I find Gavin in the same clothes as before, but also with a hat and gloves.
“Glad to see I didn’t overdress,” I say, but he just grabs my hand and pulls me along down the path. A moment later we come up on a snowmobile.
“Where are we going?” I ask as he helps me onto the back of it. He hops on the front. “Gavin?” I ask again.
“You might wanna hold on,” he says over his shoulder. The next thing I know, he’s turning the engine over and we are off.
I wrap my arms around him just in time not to go flying off the back. I do lose my hat in the process, though.
“Gavin!” I shriek. We head towards the slopes, and I can’t figure out where we are going or what he’s up to. When we finally come to a stop, he kills the engine, hops off, and holds out his hand.
“Don’t tell me we are going skiing again,” I say as I take his hand.
“Nope,” he says with a smirk, leading me towards the lift. I stop as if I’m cemented to the ground. “Just the lift.”
“The lift?” I ask shakily. “I think I’ll pass.”
“I swear I’m not going to push you down a hill in skis again, Charlotte. We’re just going to go for a little ride.”
“A little ride? Scaling a mountain a hundred feet in the air isn’t just a little ride, Gavin, it’s–”
“It’s perfectly safe, and I got you,” he says. The next thing I know, we are on the lift and it’s heading upward. I’m still not okay with it. I’m not okay at all.
“Gavin, I mean it. If you’re trying to distract me from work, this isn’t the way to do it,” I say. I’m looking around frantically for some kind of emergency brake or something, but quickly realize that’s not the way ski lifts work.
“It’s alright, Charlotte,” he tries to tell me as I squirm around. Meanwhile, the lift is making its way higher and higher.
“No, no, it’s really not. I don’t–”
“Charlotte, the view from the top is beautiful,” he says calmly, but somehow that’s only making it worse.
“I don’t like heights!” I cry out. Gavin wraps me in his arms and comforts me again.
“It’s okay,” he says. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. But you’re okay. As soon as we get to the top, I’ll turn it around.”
I nod, and a minute later we are at the very top. Gavin is prepared to pull a three-sixty, but I stop him. “Wait.”
“What is it?” he asks.
“Can we just…sit here for a moment?” I ask.
“Sure,” he nods, and the lift stops, overlooking the entire mountain. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah,” I let out. My warm breath sticks to the air in a wispy cloud before vanishing a moment later. “Yeah. It’s so…peaceful up here,” I say. Gavin smiles before settling back into the lift with me.
“It is. That’s what I wanted to show you. I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were afraid of heights.”
“Heights, adrenaline, spiders, all bugs really. The dentist, rabbits, those cinnamon roll tubes, clowns, ostriches…the list goes on and on,” I say with a laugh.
“Wait, rabbits?” he asks.
“The fake Easter Bunny. I was traumatized as a kid, and now anything with long ears gives me the heebie-jeebies,” I say with a shudder, and Gavin laughs.
“Well, am I helping at all?” he asks.
“It’s a little cold,” I say, and he pulls me closer.
“How’s that?” he asks.
“A little better…” I say slowly.
“Just a little?” he asks.
“My ears got cold on the way up here. You took off so fast I lost my hat,” I say with a smirk.
“Well, let me see if I can take care of that too,” he says. He takes off his hat and turns to me, tugging it on my head. Then, with his fingers still holding the edges, he smiles at me and pulls me into a kiss.
It starts soft and slow, our lips a little chilly. But then he parts my lips with his tongue, and the heat pours over me. It warms me up from the inside out until I am melting in my snow boots.
“How’s that?” he asks, smiling into my mouth.
“Much better,” I tell him. I turn to look at the view again with a sigh. “I love the mountains so much,” I say.
“I do too,” he says, settling into me. “I’ve traveled a lot. Hawaii, Greece, Italy, Spain, and of course, Mexico. But the Rockies will always be it for me. They’ll always be home.”
“So what do you do when home has nothing for you?” I ask absently.
“What do you mean?” he asks.
“I mean, I have spent the last several years of my life planning other people’s love stories. Helping them make their dreams a reality. And now, I feel like…” I trail off because I don’t really want to finish that sentence.
“You feel like what?” Gavin asks.
“Oh, nothing, it’s silly,” I say.
“Not if you’re feeling it,” he says softly.
I bite my lip. “It feels like it’s never going to be me,” I finally admit. “The invites, the cake, the catering, the music, the dress…” I say, swallowing hard. “That dress.”
I feel ridiculous right now, getting emotional on a ski lift. But Gavin just smiles; he’s totally calm. “Nah,” he says after a moment. “It’ll be you someday. All of it. And if this is home, everything you need is here. Maybe you’ve just been looking in the wrong places.”
The ski lift starts up again, and as we head back towards the ground, I feel lighter. Better. I’m tired of thinking about that stupid dress, anyway.
Gavin is insistent on walking me back to my cabin, which is sweet of him considering there doesn’t seem to be anyone else around.
“Where did everyone go?” I ask. “It’s like a ghost town around here.”
“If I had to guess, they’re all passed out with their shoes on and their glasses empty,” he says. “They were partying pretty hard when we left.”
I giggle as we round the corner past the heated pool, and then I stop.
It’s lit up and steaming and glorious. I don’t know what’s come over me.
Maybe it’s all the fears I am conquering in the last twenty-four hours.
Or maybe I really am exhausted to the point of delirium.
Whatever it is, it has me undoing my jacket.
“What’s up?” Gavin asks, but I just unzip my coat, take it off, and set it on one of the chairs.
“I don’t feel like going to bed. Not just yet,” I say.
“Really?” he says, watching me un-tuck my shirt from my pants. “What is it you feel like doing then?”
I answer with a smirk. “A little night swim…” I say before stripping down.