Chapter 40
Gavin
Charlotte is here.
I’m not surprised. Holly told me that her and Ben made up and said that she still wanted to get married at the resort.
She then informed me that she and Charlotte had also made amends, and that Charlotte would still be her wedding planner.
I wasn’t particularly thrilled about that because it means I’d be seeing her again.
Or hearing her through the door, anyway.
Was it immature and slightly cruel not to open the door and talk to her? Maybe. Do I have my emotions sorted enough to care right now? Not really.
So you can imagine my lack of thrill when there was a second round of knocks on my door less than an hour later.
“Aspen, I thought I said I don’t want to be interrupted,” I call out, assuming it’s the front desk girl.
“Well I guess it’s a good thing I’m not Aspen,” I recognize the masculine voice as my son, Ben’s. Immediately I shove up from my desk, stalk over to the door, and jerk it open. Ben doesn’t even flinch.
“What do you want?” I ask.
“What do you think?” he asks.
“I’m not in a talking mood,” I say, ready to shut the door again.
“Yeah, well I am. I’m getting married, you know. Which means you have to deal with me.”
He’s right, I can’t just blow him off. He’s my son and technically a customer right now. I leave the door open and make my way back to my desk.
I pour us each a shot of whiskey.
“Alright. Let’s talk business,” I say.
“She wants everything she did before,” he says.
“Fine,” I answer.
“The ceremony by the lifts, the cocktail party in the brewery, and the reception in the event hall and around the fire pits,” he goes on.
“Okay,” I say. “I wasn’t planning on pulling the plug on any of it. My friend is still available to do the barbecue as well. Everything will be exactly the way she wants it.”
“Good.”
“But you have to stop holding it against me that I fell for your ex-girlfriend. Who, by the way, I had no idea was your ex-girlfriend. Not when I hooked up with her. Not when we planned your wedding. And not when we continued to see each other. It was what it was, and that’s all there is to it,” I tell him.
“Okay,” he says, and while I should be questioning his compliance, I am on a roll and keep going.
“I know she’s not your mother. But that’s the thing about losing the love of your life. If you don’t want to spend eternity alone, you have to date people who are not them. And you kids are just going to have to accept that,” I say.
“I know,” he says. “And that’s fine.”
“It is?” I ask.
“Yeah,” Ben nods, leaning back in his chair. “I mean, do I love that you’re with my ex? Not really. It’s weird. Awkward. And kind of cringey to be honest. But I know you can’t help who you fall in love with. The same as I couldn’t change the lack of connection. So, I’m accepting it for what it is.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “You’re accepting that I am involved, was involved with your ex?”
“Yeah. Pretty much,” he answers.
“So…all this bullshit going on between us can be put to rest?” I ask. “You know I hate when things are good between us.”
“I’m putting it behind me,” he says. “Like it never happened.”
“Well, that’s a relief,” I say, lifting my glass to take a sip.
“Under one condition,” he adds.
Fuck. I KNEW it couldn’t be that easy.
“What?” I hiss.
“Talk to Charlotte,” he says.
“Not gonna happen,” I shake my head.
“You are so fucking stubborn,” he scoffs. I sit up straight, setting my glass on the desk, and not gently.
“I’m stubborn?”
“Yes,” he snaps back.
“Son, I recommend you remind yourself who you’re talking to,” I warn him.
But Ben doesn’t back down. “And I recommend you remind yourself that you’re human. You’ve spent half your life alone, and when you finally meet someone good for you, you’re too stubborn to accept it.”
“I’m done with her because she’s your ex, and it’s not appropriate,” I fight back.
“Charlotte and I have already talked everything through. I don’t care if you date her. Just don’t give me all the dirty details,” he says. I clench my jaw, looking away.
“We aren’t dating. Not anymore,” I say.
“Because she’s not mom?” he asks. “And the idea of loving someone else intimidates you?”
It strikes a nerve hard. “Of course it intimidates me! It scares the shit out of me! That girl woke something up in me that I didn’t know was asleep. Something that I thought died with your mom. And then I let my guard down for two fucking seconds and I got my heart broken.”
“So you are just using me as an excuse,” he says, and I work back the emotion by clenching my jaw.
“She’s pregnant,” I say, even though Ben already knows that. “She’s pregnant with my child.”
“And that’s a bad thing?” he asks.
“Listen. You don’t know what it was like. Raising you guys was no picnic. No offense. And I don’t know if I can do it again.”
“Yeah, but you did it mostly alone before,” Ben points out. “This time, you wouldn’t be alone.”
“Assuming nothing happens to her,” I say. My heart clenches in my chest, and I suddenly realize that I am saying things I didn’t even know I was feeling.
“Is that what you’re afraid of? Living through the same thing again? Dad, I don’t think that’s going to happen.”
“Yeah, but you don’t know,” I say. “I never dreamed, even in my worst nightmares, that we’d lose her. And yet, here we are. I wouldn’t survive losing someone again.”
I shove up from my chair and turn my back to Ben, running my hand through my hair.
“If I’m being honest, Dad, I don’t know if you’ll survive being alone either,” Ben says.
“After everything came to light, I thought about all the times Holly and I were around you two, planning wedding shit. All the times I had no idea that something was going on between you. And while it upset me at first to think about, I realized just how good together you two are. How you changed around her. It’s like a light came on.
A light I haven’t seen in years. Not since–”
“I know,” I cut him off. Then my voice softens a little. “I noticed it too.”
“You’ve got to give it a shot,” he says. “And even if it doesn’t work out, you've gotta be there for that kid.”
I nod once, sucking my lip before turning around to face him with a small smirk. “When the hell did you get so fucking smart?” I ask, and he smiles.
“I learned from the best…from a dad who stuck it out even when it was hard,” he says.
I know he’s right. No matter what happens, I have to give that baby the same attention and effort I gave Ben and Madison.
I don’t want to give up on Charlotte either. I want her. I want us. And I need to pull my head out of my ass and do something about it.
“Where is she?” I ask.
“With Holly,” he says, and I follow him out of the office.
We find Holly standing next to one of the firepits, but Charlotte is nowhere in sight.
“Where’s Charlie?” Ben asks.
“She’s leaving,” Holly answers.
“Why is she leaving?” I ask.
“Because she’s tired of chasing after you,” Holly says. “Being here is too hard on her. So she wants to handle the rest of the wedding virtually. Did you two fix everything?”
“Not everything,” I say, running off.
“Where are you going?” Holly calls out.
“To get her back,” I say.
If I’m not too late.