18. Millie
18
MILLIE
“Stalked?” I echo in disbelief.
“More like self-appointed as your invisible personal cheerleader and protection detail.”
He was there, watching over me, and now he’s making a joke? God, I love this man.
“You bastard,” I say, in awe.
“Sorry.” But he doesn’t look sorry, and he doesn’t let me go.
“I thought I was going mad .” All those times I thought I was seeing him? The moments my skin prickled as though I was being observed, but when I turned no one was there?
“I know, I’m sorry.”
It’s only when he leans his cheek into my hand that I realise I’ve dug my nails into his skin, and he’s accepting it, like I’m a kitten using her claws unknowingly.
“I needed to see you, and know more about you,” he continues, then presses his lips to my palm, kissing me softly, in a balance to the harshness of my hold on him.
“You’re not as invisible as you think.” I sound annoyed. I guess I am. I knew there was something weird going on. “At what, six foot?—”
“Five, yeah. I stand out. I couldn’t stay away, Millie.”
“Not subtle.” I try to smile. “Do you always get caught?”
“Stalking?”
“Yeah, by the other women you follow.” The words are like chewing glass.
“Never,” he replies quickly. “You’re the only one who has ever seen me.”
Well, that’s something, I tell myself as my heart crumples a bit. This is fine. Right?
“Because I don’t do it,” he continues. “I’ve never stalked anyone before.”
“Oh,” I breathe. My heart puffs back up to full size, then expands further at the inference I’m special. “I thought maybe lots of women?—”
“You’re not one of many, pet,” he cuts me off, and hauls me closer to him, like he’s attempting to melt our clothes off with the pressure. “Or the latest. You’re the last, and the first. The only woman I’ll have in bed for the rest of my life, and the first I’ve needed to be with like this.”
Happiness radiates out of my chest.
“No wonder you weren’t very good,” I joke.
“I did most of it by having CCTV hacked.” He shrugs.
“Most of it wasn’t in person?” I splutter. “And I still saw you!”
He has the grace to look sheepish. “I can’t hide from you.”
“The playboy kingpin stalked a girl rather than just picking from one of his admirers?” I murmur.
“I told you the truth days ago. I haven’t even kissed anyone for years, Millie. It’s all an act.”
I ease my fingertips and slide my hand to the back of his bowed head, and his short hair is like velvet.
Part of me is still scared. I don’t trust that I’m lovable. After all, my family has never really cared about me.
But I trust him.
And suddenly it’s so clear, and all my fears seem ridiculous. He followed me, he allowed me to kidnap him, he’s cooked me three hot meals a day since we’ve been here. He watched me, yes.
He sees me.
He caught me, and says that he loves me. But far more than that, he has shown me that he cares.
“I’ll always see you,” I murmur.
“Millie,” he groans, then leans down and kisses me. He wraps his arms around me and carries me into the cottage, kicking the door closed behind us. His mouth doesn’t leave mine as he charges up the steep stairs like they’re nothing.
He tosses me onto the bed, and I bounce on the mattress with an “Oof!” and the ruthless energy of it is intoxicating.
“Take your clothes off. Now,” he demands, ripping his T-shirt over his head.
I’m momentarily stunned—maybe I always will be—by the beauty of his naked chest. Then he’s shoving down his jeans, revealing his cock, and even though he’s huge, I want him. He’s throbbing, erect, and gorgeous enough to make me beg.
“Pet.” His warning snaps me out of my inaction, and I wriggle out of my sundress as he gazes at me, lazily stroking his cock as I peel off my knickers and bra. He steps closer, looking down at me and I’m deliciously exposed.
I see the moment he notices the cuffs on the bedside cabinet, still where he left them. His gaze flicks back to my wrists.
“Forgive me, my love,” he says and reaches for them. “But you doubt that I want you, worrying about my past? I’m going to show you that I’m not letting go of you.”
He snatches my wrist before I can even reply, and deliberately lifts it over my head.
“Ever.” He loops the cuff around the slats of the headboard.
My breath catches. This is new.
“Pink fluffy handcuffs,” Finn muses as he clicks the second handcuff shut. “Did you think when you bought them about me putting them on you?”
Yes. And I tried not to, because I was ashamed. “No?”
Finn narrows his eyes. “Do you like to say no when you mean yes, pet?”
Why do I feel guilty about this? The voices in my head that say I should be good and restrained and not be so selfish as to have pleasure for its own sake, or anything just for me, are still there. And the idea of getting pregnant, after only knowing this man for a matter of days?
I can almost hear my mother clicking her tongue and muttering.
“No?”
He laughs softly. “Choose a safe word.”
“What?”
“A word that I know means stop, and I’ll stop and take care of you. But otherwise, I won’t. I’ll do exactly what I want to you, use your cute little body in filthy and degrading ways, fuck every hole until you can’t move without memory of me echoing through you.”
Heat floods me. Between my legs tingles with pure need, and I have vague pictures in my mind of Finn gleefully fucking me as I scream my heart out, free to beg and sob and shout that I don’t want this overwhelming pleasure that forces me to do nothing but accept the orgasms.
I… I can’t want that, can I?
“And you know what else, pet?”
I shake my head, because I don’t know. I will listen to anything Finn tells me though.
His voice dips and he brings his mouth to my ear. “I won’t use protection like a kind and tame psychopath would.”
My pussy clenches.
“Nothing but your safe word will stop me. I’d take you raw. I’d push my far-too-big cock into your tight virgin passage and fill you up. I’d make my come spill out of your gorgeous little cunt, then force in more. I’d push it back in, and make you hold it. I’d force you to go outside with my seed dribbling down your legs like the little slut you are.”
I’m panting, sensation flaring over my skin and down my spine.
“I’ll fuck a baby into you. I’ll be insatiable, Millie. I’ll part your thighs whenever I want and shove into you, grab your breasts and hold you down as I defile you in ways you haven’t even begun to imagine. And you will take it all.”
My hips move of their own accord, my clit throbbing. My nipples are aching.
I’m shaking with the need for what Finn describes. And when he calls me a slut? It sounds like a compliment . It sounds like he’ll celebrate every selfish thing I do and all the ways I let him have control so I don’t have to do anything.
The thought is a helium balloon inside my mind.
I need him.
But I can’t say yes. Years and years of being a good girl who looked after everyone has taken its toll.
I like being Finn’s prisoner. Madness, but true. I trust him and it’s such a relief for him to be in charge.
“And the only thing between you and me and my insatiable lust is one little word, pet. And it’s not no. I won’t take no for an answer, because you saw me outside your brother’s work and kidnapped me anyway.”
“I didn’t?—”
“You did,” he insists roughly. “You knew it was me. In here.” He slams his palm between my breasts. “You knew it was me, and you wanted this, so you captured me. You needed this as much as I did.”
Is that true?
I did have a flash of knowledge that it wasn’t Noah there. And I didn’t check.
I chose not to look into his face and ensure it was Noah I pushed into my car.
“So unless you tell me in a word that we’ve agreed means no more, I’m not going to stop until you’re wrung out with pleasure and have a baby in your belly.”
“No.” It tears from my throat.
He growls.
I like saying that far too much. It’s the perfect abdication of responsibility.
“Choose one. Now.”
My mind goes blank. This is that BDSM thing, isn’t it? I’ve always been the good girl, the responsible one. Never Googled all those spicy terms. Never allowed myself to wonder when people turned up at the hospital with red cheeks and unusual injuries in intimate places.
“Millie.” He sounds furious, and that only makes me hotter.
“Ocean.” I don’t know where that word emerges from. But it’s right. The ocean is big—too big. It’s what you drown in.
“Ocean,” he repeats. “Good girl. Well done.”
I glow from his praise.
“Are you ready to have me pound into your tight pussy?”
“No.” And the shake of fear isn’t pretend. He is enormous. I’ll never be fully ready.
He abruptly cups between my legs. “This says otherwise, pet.”
“No.” It’s not my fault. I’m not responsible for anything that happens, I can just accept everything that Finn gives me. I have wings. I’m flying. I have gills. I can breathe underwater.
“You’re soaking wet,” he rasps.
“Please.” Am I begging for him to stop? Or carry on?
“I know, I know.” He notches the thick head of his cock at my entrance. “Feck, you’re so slippery. Feel how hard you make me, pet?”
He pushes into me, and I make a high-pitched cry as the intrusion pinches. “I can’t, I can’t,” I babble. “It’s too big.”
“Breathe, pet,” he instructs, harsh but tender at the same time, keeping pushing further into me, and another scream rips from my throat. “You will. Feel how big you make my cock? How much I need to fuck you. You were made for me.”
It hurts, but my brain doesn’t register the pain properly. It’s a cascade of sparks that are so bright and hot that it feels almost pleasurable. After a second, it eases. I instantly want him deeper, and he’s relentless. I know he’s not going as fast as he’d like, and I’m both grateful for his consideration and impatient that his monster cock isn’t fully in yet.
We both let out an “Ahhh” as he holds my hip down and slides further, making me take it exactly as I wanted. This time the flare of pain isn’t as sharp. And more quickly it’s fullness, and an unfamiliar stretch, and I’m vibrating because I want him so much.
He doesn’t stop. He continues to slide in endlessly until he hits my heart.
It’s not my heart, but it feels high enough that it could be. Then his hips are flush with mine and his balls press onto my bottom and he seamlessly begins to withdraw.
“Feck you’re so tight,” he rasps. “My hot, wet little toy. My beautiful love, my pet.”
He’s so controlled as he moves in and out of me, just his hips moving without hesitation. And he’s close to me in a way I can’t imagine being with anyone else. Finn is inside me. Making space for his thick cock.
I moan as he speeds up, using my body for his pleasure, and I can see how good it is for him. The intensity in his green eyes only wavers from my face to appreciate my bared breasts.
I can’t touch him, but I’m enough without doing anything.
It’s perfect.