Chapter 6 Adrian
ADRIAN
I’m starting to wonder if the whole pinch-me-I-must-be-dreaming thing is complete bullshit.
Because it definitely hurts when I pinch myself, but Hudson Roy is still living in my apartment. And he isn’t just living here—everything I told Beck the other day is true. He’s the ideal roommate.
He can’t possibly be real.
“Sorry, what did you say?” I ask when I realize I’ve just been standing in the entry to my kitchen, staring.
But really, it isn’t my fault. Hudson is moving around my kitchen, looking perfectly at home like he owns the damn place—which I’m obviously not complaining about.
He’s shirtless, his muscles look like they’re carved from marble, his tattoos are on display, his hair is wet like he must have just gotten out of a shower, and to top it all off, he’s only wearing loose, gray sweatpants.
Nothing is being left up to my imagination.
“Dinner got here just before you did, so it should be hot. Your stuff is on the table. I’m grabbing some real plates and we’ll be all set,” he says, flashing me his perfect smile.
Aren’t hockey players supposed to have bad smiles? Missing teeth and all that. Why does he have all his teeth? Asking that seems rude though… right? More of a personal question.
“You ordered me dinner?” I ask instead, focusing on my surprise that he did that. Hudson and I have eaten together a few times now, but always when we were already together beforehand.
“Yeah, I finally coordinated with my chef to deliver my prepped meals when I get back from the away games next Tuesday. But for now, I figured our favorite place would be good.” He gestures to the bag in the center of the table.
He said “our” favorite. As if it’s totally normal to lump the two of us together. I’m not imagining that, right? While he was talking about buying me food… My favorite food… Which he knows. As though he actually knows and cares about me in a way that goes so above and beyond what he needs to.
I’m not used to having anyone other than my best friends care enough to pay that much attention to me, and even with them, it took years before I trusted that they intended to be in my life long-term.
I have no idea how to respond to Hudson doing it so casually, so I sit down quietly at the table across from him.
“I wasn’t sure what food you’d want me to request, but he said it’s no problem to add on meals for you as well.”
“From your chef?” I squeak out, making sure I’m still following. He nods. “Hudson, you don’t need to have your private chef cook for me!” Why the hell would he even think to offer that? “That’s so nice, but I wouldn’t like that healthy stuff anyway,” I remind him with an awkward laugh.
He laughs too. “Yeah, I know you’d hate my food.
He said he’d make whatever you do like. He used to do the same for Shelby.
So if you have any menu ideas, I’ll give you his number, otherwise he can make suggestions.
I was going to give him your number, but I wasn’t sure if you’d be comfortable with me handing it out, so I told him you’d reach out to him instead. ”
My jaw is open, practically on the floor. I can’t remember how to shut it, and I’m probably going to really embarrass myself when I start drooling in a minute, but I can’t help it.
There is just no way this walking green flag of a man is real.
And did he just compare me to his wife? Ex-wife? God, I fucking wish our titles were comparable.
“Hudson, I so, so appreciate it, but you don’t need to do that. Shelby was your wife. That’s totally different.”
“Is it though? We’re living together,” he points out, as though I might have somehow forgotten the most amazing thing that’s ever happened to me. Then he tilts his head and gives me his pleading “come on, do it for me” flirty look and… how do I know what his exact expression means so well?
“He’s already cooking for me. I want him to also cook for you, Charming. Don’t overthink it. I know I don’t have to have him do that, but I want to,” he insists.
“Well, how the hell am I supposed to say no to that?” I ask aloud, too confused to keep that as an inside thought.
“You don’t.” He smiles triumphantly and pulls out his phone, apparently to text me the contact info because my phone buzzes in my pocket. “And make sure to text him, otherwise he’ll guess, and he won’t know to make you chocolatey desserts.”
“Oh my god, I don’t need desserts from him too.”
He rolls his eyes as he takes our food out of the to-go bag.
“Adrian, you don’t need anything. I know that.
But if you want it, if it’s going to make you happy, then you should ask him for whatever you’d like.
” Instead of handing me my container, he opens it and starts plating my meal for me, as if on autopilot, like that’s a totally normal thing to do for your friends.
Then he pulls out not one but two very chocolatey dessert options and sets them both down in front of me.
That’s it.
This seriously can’t be real.
I look around my apartment, convinced there must be hidden cameras. “Okay, I’m sorry, but am I getting Punk’d? Is this some sort of test to see how nice the perfect straight man can be before the innocent gay man cracks and offers to blow him or something?”
Hudson chokes on nothing and starts coughing as I continue.
“Sorry, that was probably very inappropriate, but it was the first thing that popped into my head. I’m trying really hard to pretend this is all very normal friendly behavior, but you’re definitely acting way nicer than any friend—or even boyfriend—ever has, and I am very confused. ”
When he recovers, he tilts his head again. “Kindness isn’t transactional. Your friends aren’t nice to you?”
I shake my head. “They’re normal nice! Not ‘serve me dinner and get me extra dessert’ nice.”
He glances down at my plate, then back up at me. “I didn’t even think about serving you. I wasn’t trying to make you uncomfortable. I guess I just like taking care of the people I care about.” He shrugs.
The people he cares about?
This man will be the death of me.
Then he scrunches his brows together, and when our gazes meet, I feel like he’s looking right into my soul. “Is there a reason you don’t think you deserve for people to be nice to you, to take care of you? It seems like you’re always helping everyone else. Does anyone look out for you?”
I blink at him a few times because… what the fuck?
How does he seem to see me in a way that no one else ever has?
“Is this a therapy session now? Hudson, I promise I’m okay, my friends are great, and they look out for me plenty.
Yes, I like to help people; it makes me happy.
All I meant to point out was that you could dial it back if you want to.
” And yes, it probably is because of my fucked-up childhood, feeling like I need to earn affection and approval that I never will, but that’s a story for another day.
“What if I don’t want to?” he challenges with that big smile of his.
I cross my arms. I honestly have no idea how to respond to him.
I’ve never met anyone like Hudson. “Fine. I’m not going to stop you from being weirdly nice.
As long as you know you don’t have to be.
I’m not Shelby. I won’t be kicking you out or blindsiding you.
You can stay as long as you’d like, even if you don’t do all the dishes or watch my favorite shows.
Kindness isn’t transactional,” I repeat to him with a smirk.
He chuckles. “I’m not great at being idle. I like to keep busy and moving so I end up cleaning when I’m just sitting at home. And I really do enjoy those shows, too.”
“Fine.” I roll my eyes, but the more serious tone we both had moments ago has been replaced with a teasing one. “Keep being perfect. Somehow I’ll find a way to manage.”
His smile somehow grows. “Good.”
“One more thing though,” I add before we completely move on.
“It’s okay if you’re not okay. I know we aren’t all that close, but I am here if you want to talk about any of the stuff you’re dealing with.
You’ve seemed to be handling the split really well, but this is your home, however temporary.
You don’t have to be strong all of the time. Not around me.”
His smile softens to one that’s a little sadder.
“Thanks, Prince.” He shrugs again. “I keep waiting for it to all sink in or something. It’s, like, I think I should be more upset, or angry, or more…
I don’t know, something about her leaving me, but I’m just not.
I’m really bummed about losing the future I had planned for us and the life I was picturing for my retirement.
I was so excited to expand our family, to finally get to be a dad.
” He shakes his head again, and I fight the urge to go to him, to wrap him in a hug.
Sure, he hugged me when he moved in, but that was him initiating comforting contact.
I don’t know if he’d want the same from me.
“But when I think about Shelby specifically, I’m kind of…
numb. I’m annoyed that things ended the way they did, sure.
But I don’t think I miss her so much as the idea of her and the role I assumed she’d play in my future family.
So…” He takes a big breath and finally confidently continues.
“I guess that means she probably wasn’t the person I was supposed to be with anyway. ”
Wow. I guess I had assumed he was putting on a brave face. I’m relieved to hear he’s taking it so well though. “That is a very mature outlook to have,” I commend.
And I try to stop there, I really do. But I can’t help myself.
I want to know more. I want to know everything about Hudson, and he seems comfortable with sharing right now.
I just hope I don’t overstep. “Would it be horribly nosey and rude for me to ask why you got married if you seem kind of indifferent about her? Did things change between you two over the years?”
He smiles and glances around like he’s searching for the answer himself.
“Looking back at everything now, I think I met her at the right time. I was ready to settle down, get married. She was successful enough on her own that I didn’t think she was just after my money or title of ‘NHL wife.’ Maybe she didn’t think I’d care if she didn’t actually want kids.
Or maybe she thought one of us would change our mind before the time came, but now that I really think about it, I guess I was the one doing all the future planning.
Plus she’s really hot,” he adds with a short laugh.
I snort. “Well, other than how attractive she might be, and I'll have to take your word on that part,” I joke, trying to avoid things getting too dark, “that really sucks, Hudson. For what it’s worth, you deserve to be treated nicely too. I’m sorry if I made it weird calling out how nice you are or made it seem like I don’t appreciate you.
I hope that you can find someone who’s excited about planning that future with you. ”
His smile is so genuine as his gray-blue eyes meet mine. “Thanks, Adrian.”
See, I can be kind and supportive too. So mature. No blowjobs offered.
I didn’t even suggest that I could be that person and would love to plan a future with him, even if the little voice in my head is screaming it on repeat. I know he’d never think about me in that way.
I really do deserve double chocolate treats though.
Speaking of. “So what did I do to earn multiple desserts today?”
“Oh! Thanks for reminding me. One is from my mom.”
Now I’m the one choking on air because… What? Did I hear that correctly? “Why would it be from your mom?”
“She told me to thank you for letting me stay with you. She knows how much I hate living alone and made me promise to get you something from her, and I told her that you love chocolate. So don’t be surprised if more gets delivered here from her too.”
Aww. He hates living alone? Does that mean he’s choosing to stay here? It isn’t a real estate thing? I’ll obsess over that little nugget of info later. And of course the sweetest man would have the sweetest mom. Not that I’m a reflection of mine, because that woman was not nearly as great as I am.
“Well, please thank your mom for me and assure her that you are the ideal roommate.”
His smile is back to its full size, filling my heart right along with it. “Will do.”