Chapter 11 Hudson
HUDSON
Did I get a new pillow?
And leave the curtains open? Adrian’s black-out curtains are no joke—there’s never this much sunlight in the morning.
I finally open my eyes enough to look around and realize I’m still on the couch. I must have fallen asleep watching the movie last night. Damn. I was enjoying it too, but once Adrian offered to have me lay down, I didn’t stand a chance after a game.
I shift and realize that my pillow is not actually a pillow.
I’m still laying on Adrian’s leg. Holy shit, he didn’t move all night?
He looks far less comfortable than I was, half sitting up and slumped against the arm of the chair.
I sit up fully and check the time. Still way earlier than he needs to be awake for the day on a Sunday.
I nudge him. “Hey, did you want to move into your bed? That doesn’t look very comfy.”
“Hmm?” he hums sleepily. “You want to go to my bed?”
I chuckle. “Nah, I have to go in for conditioning soon, but you should sleep.”
“M’fine,” he mumbles, but his brow is furrowed and there is just no way his neck isn’t going to hurt with the angle it’s at.
“I’ve got you.” I stand and position one arm under his knees and the other behind his back. “Put your arms around my neck, and I’ll carry you.”
He does what I say without actually opening his eyes, and he’s small enough that I lift him easily.
He rests his head on my chest, and the way he trusts me so easily, even in sleep, makes me smile.
Luckily his bedroom door is open, so even though it’s dark and I can’t really make out the details of the room, I’m able to carry him all the way to his bed without any obstacles.
But when I lay him down, he doesn’t remove his arms from around me.
“Alright, Charming, you’re in bed, you can let go now.”
“Don’t wanna,” he grumbles, eyes still closed, hugging me closer.
“I wish I could stay too, but I have to go to work,” I remind him with a laugh.
I can’t help it, Adrian is usually so put together, so energetic, and seeing this sleepy side of him that just wants to cuddle is adorable.
He still hasn’t let go, and I really did enjoy how comfortable we were laying together on the couch last night.
“We can cuddle later if you’d like,” I promise, peeling his hand away from my neck.
“Fiiiine,” he says through a yawn.
“Sweet dreams, Adrian.”
“Night, babe.”
Babe? Who does Adrian think I am right now in his half-asleep state? There’s a twisting sensation in my stomach as it sinks in that he probably wishes I was someone else. He said he wasn’t seeing anyone, but maybe it isn’t serious, or maybe there’s someone he wishes he was seeing.
I hope he isn’t holding back from having anyone over because of me.
But I also don’t love the idea of giving up the time we have to hang out together.
That’s selfish though; if he wants to have a guy over, to his own house, he obviously should. I’ll have to ask him about it later.
I should really look at that dating app too.
Adrian is talking loudly in his office when I get back a few hours later, so I head to my room to call my parents.
My dad is napping, but my mom gushes about our game last night, going on and on about how excited they are to see us play in person soon.
I’m excited too, but it’s weird to think it’ll be the last time with me retiring.
Hopefully we’ll have other things to celebrate though. Maybe I’ll meet someone soon, and they’ll also be eager to have kids. I’m trying to remain optimistic even if those new life milestones I’m hoping to reach seem further away than ever.
With that thought in mind, I think it’s time to really sit down and look through who’s on the dating app, no matter how much I don’t love the idea of trying to weed through profiles by myself.
I go back into the living room, determined to make some progress while I wait for Adrian to be done with whatever he’s working on in his office, and am excited to see he’s already moved into the kitchen, grabbing some water.
“Hey! Did you end up having to work too?” I ask.
He snorts a laugh. “Yeah, I don’t really take any days off. It works out pretty well that my boss is one of my best friends, so it doesn’t always feel like work.”
“That must be nice. So how did you guys meet? Did you ever date?” I ask, wondering if Beckett Caldwell could be the “babe” he was picturing this morning. I know he has a boyfriend now, but maybe Adrian is jealous?
He scoffs. “Definitely not. We met in college, but we never dated. He and our other friend, Jordan, gave me a place to stay when I had issues with a roommate, and we’ve all been friends since.”
I don’t know why, but I’m relieved by his answer, and I love how freely he shared it.
I want to ask about the issues with the roommate.
I actually want to know everything about him that he’s willing to share, but I don’t want to sound too eager.
And I shouldn’t care who he’s dated; I should be supportive of my friend.
“That’s awesome you’re all still close. Most of my friends are also current or former hockey players, so we don’t have a ton of time to spend together.
Hopefully I can catch up with some of them after this season. ”
“Yeah, that’ll be such a change of pace for you to have free time.”
Shit. I shouldn’t have made it about me again when he was talking about himself. Well, maybe if I open up more, he’ll be more comfortable doing the same. “I’m just hoping I won’t be alone for too long. I had all these visions of becoming a dad and having all that time to dedicate to my family.”
“It’ll happen,” he assures me with a supportive smile. “I might be overstepping by saying this, but Shelby was an idiot who didn’t know how good she had it. Anyone would be lucky to end up with you.”
I let out a relieved breath, feeling like a weight has been lifted from my chest at Adrian’s assurance.
He makes it so easy to open up to him. “No overstepping. I actually really appreciate you saying that. I’ve been trying to tell myself that we just wanted different things, but it’s still hard not to second-guess myself, or wonder what I did wrong and if I’ll make the same mistakes when I do try dating again. ”
“Be yourself, and whoever you give attention to will fall for you in no time. And make sure you’re clear that you eventually want to have kids. Maybe ease them into your ideal timeline for that though,” he teases.
“Is ‘I want to be a dad’ not a good first date topic?” I joke.
“Just make sure you don’t say ‘daddy’ because then you’ll be setting them up with very different expectations,” he teases. “Unless of course you’re into that, I’m not kink shaming.”
I burst out laughing at the thought of asking my date to call me that. “Not my thing,” I confirm when I calm down. “But thank you for the advice. So, do you have more work to do? Or do you want to hang out?”
“Nah, I should be free for a bit. Did you want to finish the movie?”
“Eventually, yes, because I was really enjoying it, even if I fell asleep, but I was actually wondering if you might be able to help me look through the dating profiles?” I flash a hopeful smile.
“Doing it on my own seems overwhelming, and I know you already helped so much setting it up, but I’d love to be able to talk through it with you. ”
He hesitates, and for a moment, I worry he’s going to turn me down. Is it bad that I asked? Before I can panic too much though, he answers. “Sure.” Then he’s smirking. “What would you do without me?”
“I’m seriously starting to wonder,” I chuckle.
I move to the couch, getting comfortable in the corner and stretch my legs out. “I got the app on my phone too,” I comment as I log in. Adrian comes around the couch and hesitates, so I pat the cushion next to me. “We’ll need to both see the screen.”
“Right,” he says quietly before joining me on the couch. But when he does, he’s kind of stiff, sitting up straight, not a blanket or extra pillow in sight.
I pull up the first woman’s profile, but right away I don’t think she’d be a good match.
She reminds me too much of Shelby, so I move on.
The next person has similar vibes, based on the very posed and curated images, I’m just getting a sense that they care more about their appearance than I’m hoping for in my partner.
“Sooo are you going to show me anything, or am I here in more of a moral support capacity?” Adrian jokes when the next profile is also not my vibe.
I playfully roll my eyes. “Well, you’re all the way over there, how are we both supposed to see the screen?”
He looks around then back at me with a disbelieving smile. “Over where? I am literally right next to you on this giant couch.”
“I know, but your posture is so proper it’s like you’re on high-alert or something. Scooch in closer and get comfy. I won’t bite,” I tease.
He lets out a surprised laugh. “Okay, what the fuck are you expecting? Any closer and we’ll basically be cuddling.”
“Yes! That would be perfect actually, great idea,” I agree. “You can lay your head on my chest, and then we’ll both be able to see the screen.”
He stares at me, blinking a few times without responding or making any moves to lay on me. “You want to cuddle with me?” he finally asks.
“Well, don’t sound so surprised. I did promise you this morning that we could cuddle later,” I remind him in a light tone.
“You did what?” he asks, sounding completely surprised. “When the hell did you promise me cuddling? I would definitely remember that.”
“In your bed this morning?” I prompt, but that only makes his eyes go even wider.
“There is no way you were in my bed this morning promising to cuddle me! I would absolutely remember that.”
“Maybe you were more asleep than I thought,” I suggest with a shrug. “You’re strong in your sleep then; it took some effort for me to untangle you from me.”