Chapter Seven Veronica
Chapter Seven
Veronica
So, wait. You’re going on a date with this guy you trolled on Zoom and who hired you to troll him officially?” Jordan glances at me before throwing a handful of peanuts in their mouth, speaking around them. “Like, you’re dating your boss?”
I frown. “I don’t think he’s technically my boss? We’re colleagues. I’m a contractor.” Jordan looks dubious, so I wave this off, saying, “Whatever. I don’t think the normal workplace rules apply here.”
Clara nods because she approves of even the most inappropriate dating situations.
She once suggested I ask my dentist out the next time he had his hands in my mouth.
Another time she took Dani to get a picture with Mall Santa, and later insisted he was hot beneath the fake beard, and I should go back and hit him up.
“But you’ve never seen his actual face?” Jordan asks.
“Nope. We just email. It feels very early 2000s. I’m picturing Tom Hanks.”
“You haven’t stalked his socials?” Clara asks.
“They’re private.”
“So request?” Jordan’s tone is the same one they use with their mother when she forgets how to text a photo from her iPhone. “Is this your first life?”
“He has thirty-four followers on Instagram,” I say, “and to me that says he only connects with very close friends and family. We went from snark to hard-nosed negotiations to professional talk to flirting. It feels weird to request now, like he’ll know I’m literally only there to see what he looks like. ”
“What if he’s ugly?” Jordan asks.
“Jordy!” I say, laughing. “Am I that shallow a beast?”
“Yes,” Clara and Jordan shout in unison, and I press my hand to my chest, offended.
Jordan lifts a hand. “Remember that time you didn’t accept a second date because you thought the guy parted his hair weird?”
“You guys, he did. It was like a seventies comb-over, but he had plenty of hair, so why? Also, his LinkedIn profile picture was a Minion. Come on.” I pause.
“Wait. Was that a way of hinting that he was bald and his hair was a wig? Oh my God. I wish I’d have looked closer, but I was so distracted by him ordering expresso after dinner. ”
“I love a bald man.” Jordy sighs.
“I know you do.”
“Ronnie,” Clara says, leaning forward, “what about the time you didn’t call a guy back because of his pizza order?”
“He ordered a cheese pizza with corn.” I throw my hands up. “I can’t live like that!”
They both laugh. “Not shallow at all,” Clara murmurs into her drink.
I point at Jordy. “You didn’t go on a second date with Angela because her phone case had rhinestones, so you’re not one to talk.”
Jordan shrugs, sipping their drink.
Clara grins at me. “This is perfect timing for Valentine’s season.”
I groan. It’s been so long since I observed the sham of a holiday that it didn’t register. “No, Valentine’s season is the worst timing for a first date.”
She gapes at me, this adorable romantic. “Why?”
“The expectation, the pressure, the spectacle of it all.”
“Dummy, you don’t have to make it a spectacle,” she says, like it’s that easy.
“Have you met our society?” I ask.
Jordan laughs. “I guess it all depends on where you two are going.”
I stare ahead, realizing that Jude and I didn’t actually get that far in the planning.
“I don’t know. I assume somewhere for dinner?
I hope dinner. Dinner might lead to dessert, which might lead to after-dinner drinks, which might lead to orgasms. I think I’m good with Valentine’s season if it leads to orgasms.”
“I haven’t seen you this unhinged in a long time.” Jordy looks at me out of the corner of their eye. “Are you going to be able to keep your shit together for the next seven days?”
“She absolutely will not,” Clara says.
I pull in a deep breath. Jordan is right.
Clara is right. It’s been months since I went on a date.
Even longer since I went on one I was this excited about.
I’m trying not to build a mental picture of Jude.
Like me, he’s been careful to not share pictures publicly and has locked down his socials.
I respect it. If anything, it makes him hotter in my mind.
I just have to keep my chill for one more week. “Yeah, I think so.”
My sister laughs. “Liar.”