Chapter Nineteen What Mal Cares About
See notes though throughout, but Kodi, this is really good. I’m so proud of you for taking this risk. Do you mind talking about this in person? I’d love some recommendations for which thrift shops you like. The Goodwill in Bellevue leaves much to be desired.
QUEER, LOOKING
by Kodi Jones
You can spot us in the waves of racks, bobbing heads in snap-back caps, bodies in button-downs: queer, looking.
This is so clever and effective.
In the thrift shop, there’s always a few of us: lesbians who have made the step out of the comfortable, out of yeah but is she gay though into oh yeah she’s gay gay.
We inevitably all make it to the same men’s rack.
The masc rack, when we’re there. It starts off small, just a head nod: that universal queer signal of I see you.
Then there’s always the brave one who starts the small talk, and before you know it, we’re swapping our favorite spots around town like tomboy trading cards.
Lately the brave one has been me, but it wasn’t always.
When I first started dressing more masc, I kept my thrift-shop finds like a secret.
Like if people knew my spots, they might know ME.
I still felt like I was on the sidelines, shoved out of the mainstream shops my girlfriends shopped at.
Still new to my style. Still new to my own identity.
Consider italics? I do love the visual of this being in caps, though.
I remember the first brave butch who saw me at a Saint Vincent De Paul and pulled me aside to tell me where the heat was at.
As we sorted through those sorry dad shirts, she told me about the community I’d come to call my own.
She swapped me style tips, told me about a queer barber shop in her neighborhood, shot the breeze with me.
The next month, I saw her again at a shop she’d told me about, looking fresher off for it.
Clarify that this is a thrift store?
Our stories, secrets, and stores come hand-me-down too, just like the clothes. It’s a communal knowledge we share, started off one head nod at a time. We pass it down, knowing look to knowing look, until we
Kodi, this line is so good.