Chapter 22 Gabriel
GAbrIEL
Oscar had been trying to meet up ever since the block party, and I’d been avoiding him. I still wasn’t sure how I felt about everything that went down, but he was my cousin and one of my best friends. He’d apologized for his part, and I was ready to give him a chance to live up to his promise.
Today, he was hanging out on my couch while I prepared my orange bitters for sale. A few of the other volleyball crew were coming over later for a pizza-and-movie night.
“Have you talked to your mom?” he asked.
“Going for the big guns right out the gate, primo?”
He laughed as he lifted his beer. “I think she feels bad about what happened.”
“Eh, she feels bad about being called out in front of the whole neighborhood. And by my gringo boyfriend, no less.” I poured a large jug of the steeped bitters through a strainer. “I’ve been saying the same things to her for years, and she’s never listened to me.”
“Maybe it just took time to sink in.”
“Maybe. She hasn’t called or texted or anything.”
Part of me felt like if she was sorry, she’d reach out.
But she had some old-fashioned generational beliefs, like the idea that it was the kid’s job to reach out to the parents.
She never called unless it was to guilt-trip me for not calling.
She was probably stewing in silence about how this generation had no respect, even if, by some miracle, she was willing to acknowledge that she was wrong.
Oscar sipped his beer and shrugged.
In some ways, even though he’d come out as gay, the family still held him in higher regard because of his high-paying job and because he leaned masculine in his gender presentation.
He didn’t paint his nails or wear makeup.
He didn’t have visible piercings or tattoos, either.
It wasn’t an act for him, something he did to fit in.
It was what he preferred, and I was jealous sometimes that he’d had it so much easier.
Even though I was bi and had dated women in the past, I still presented as obviously queer.
My macho family members had a hard time with that.
“Tell me how the new promotion is going?”
I changed the subject, and Oscar gave me a side-eye from over the kitchen island.
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure everyone is more excited about this than me, but hey, a promotion’s a promotion.” He leaned his head on the back of the sofa, staring at the ceiling.
I added agave to the bitters and stirred. “Why isn’t that good news? I thought you liked working at this firm.”
Oscar hummed thoughtfully. “I mean, I do. The work environment is not as toxic as a lot of other law firms, and it’s nice that I’m not the only out LGBTQ lawyer in our office.
It could be worse, for sure, but I’ve always wanted to do something to make a difference for our community, you know?
I’m tired of dealing with divorce court and shit. ”
“Huh.”
“I know you’ve always been compared to me, but I’ve always envied the way that you have done your own thing.
” He picked at the label of his bottle, appearing uncharacteristically nervous.
“I know you went through a lot trying to choose your major, but you didn’t give up until you found something that fit.
I got the first job I could, and I’ve played it safe since.
I should have told you sooner how much I admire you. ”
I was shocked at Oscar’s confession and knew I had to be staring at him with wide-eyed confusion. His decisions and achievements had always been held up as the gold standard in our family. I’d never stopped to consider that he was facing the same pressures as I was.
Oscar smiled ruefully. “You know I would have stayed in the closet much longer if you hadn’t come out first.”
“My closet was made of glass. I don’t think I had much choice.” I laughed because the other option—crying—was too embarrassing.
Oscar finished his beer and got up from the couch to grab another. He bumped my shoulder as he passed. “I mean, at least you have the option to date girls. You didn’t have to come out, but I’m glad you did.”
I wasn’t sure I agreed, but I let it slide. “I’m glad you did, too. It’s nice not being the only one in the family.”
Oscar smiled. We’d always been close, but it looked like there were still some surprises to uncover in our relationship, and I was thankful we’d cleared the air. Hopefully, it meant we’d grow even closer.
Oscar stayed in the kitchen, leaning up against the counter with his beer. “Want to tell me what you’re working on here?”
I gestured to the row of small bottles, labeled with today’s date. “Just wrapping up the next batch of bitters. Taylor finally convinced me to get things set up officially with a name and an LLC and everything.”
My phone buzzed with a text, and I grabbed it from the counter.
Taylor
I’m going crazy with all our family in town. Can I come over?
Gabriel
Sure, some of the Baes are here for movie night, but you’re welcome to join us.
Butterflies swarmed around in my stomach just knowing I’d get a little time with my man.
Oscar’s voice floated into my consciousness. “I like him.”
“Yeah.” I sighed a little too dreamily. “Me too.”
“Oh shit.” Oscar laughed. “You are down bad. This is so cute. My cousin is in loooove.”
“Shut up.” I body-checked him out of the way and moved in front of the sink to wash my supplies.
“Are you going to let me pick the movie tonight?” Oscar asked as I handed him a towel.
Might as well put him to work if he was going to be all up in my business.
“Absolutely not. You’re gonna pick some creepy horror movie, and I need to sleep. I have to be in top form for wedding date duties this weekend.”
It was back to the same arguments we always dragged out for movie night, and arguing with a lawyer was a pain in the ass. It didn’t matter in the end. Everyone got a vote. We’d be waiting to decide until the others arrived with the pizza, whether he liked it or not.
By the time we’d finished bickering, Alex and Kat were calling to have me buzz them into the apartment building. The first pizza was devoured immediately, and we took the second over to the coffee table once we’d voted on streaming the latest spandex-wearing action-hero movie.
Grabbing a slice, Kat turned to me. “I need to know what you’re wearing to the wedding this weekend. You have a bunch of events to attend, right?”
I laughed. “Yeah, I’ll need outfits for the rehearsal, wedding, and brunch the next day. We picked up Taylor’s suit last weekend, and it’s unfair how good he looks in it. The only thing I’ve picked so far is the matching tie.”
“I can help you choose.” Kat pressed her hands together, pleading. “I haven’t done anything fancy in a while, so I must live vicariously through you.”
“I’ll text you photos.”
The doorbell announced Taylor’s arrival, and soon we were smashed together on my big beanbag chair. I wish I had better seating for when I had friends over, but I’d prioritized my plant habitats over social space.
And it was a good excuse for extra cuddles.
Once the credits were rolling, Oscar jumped in with commentary. “The timeline of this movie made no sense.”
“As far as I’m concerned, these superhero movies are more about the tight pants than the science,” Kat said with a grin.
Taylor groaned. “I don’t see how they could have made it from Tokyo to New York in that amount of time, even assuming they could fly faster than a jet.”
“The magic of cinema,” Kat said with a flourish of jazz hands.
“I regret not voting in your favor on the horror movie,” Alex said. “Whatever we just watched was the true horror.”
We laughed as we gathered the pizza boxes and paper plates.
“Ok, friends,” I said, ushering them toward the door. “Closing time. You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.”
It was late already, and I was hoping I’d catch a few minutes alone with Taylor.
As soon as my friends called their ride shares and I’d scooted them out my door, I collapsed back onto the couch, pulling Taylor with me.
Was this what love would always feel like? A tightness in my chest when we were apart for too long? If I had my way, we’d be living together by next tax season, so I’d at least get cuddles at night. How strange to be thinking that far ahead, making plans.
I could only hope Taylor felt the same.
“Hi, angel,” Taylor said as he curled into my side, and I breathed a sigh of relief.
As he told me about his day, I fell asleep to the sound of his voice, still stretched out on the couch. Zero regrets.