21. Sienna
Chapter 21
Sienna
T he text was read hours ago.
No reply.
I check again anyway, like maybe this time, it’ll be different. Like maybe the stupid little “delivered” bubble will miraculously change to a text from him that says “on my way.”
Nothing. It’s still sitting there. Unanswered.
Julian said he’d stop by after class. Something about needing a break from the constant grind of pretending college parties were fun when everyone was performing for Instagram.
But he never showed.
And I’m not stupid.
I saw the photos. The ones of him and some jocks from EGU out by a bonfire on the mainland. All those polished faces, bright teeth and beer cans raised like trophies. Julian with his head tipped back in laughter. His arm slung around some guy in a backwards hat who looked like he probably plays some hard core sport like rugby.
To be fair, he didn’t post it. But somebody tagged him in it. And I should be happy for him. He’s out there carving out a place for himself in this world.
Julian looks like he belongs.
Meanwhile, I had a chance to hang out with the SKC crew and blew it waiting for him.
Now, I’m sitting on the balcony of the apartment overlooking the area where he’s probably at right now, picking at the chipped polish on my thumbnail.
The night is cool. Too quiet. The kind that gets into your chest and settles.
The kind that makes you miss your mom so hard it’s physical.
I pull out my phone again.
No new messages. No missed calls. Just me.
Still not really one of the crew. Still the outsider at SKC who gets polite nods but is kept at a distance. Still the girl people aren’t sure is here to stay.
God, I wish my mom was here.
She’d tell me to stop spiraling. To get up, go for a ride.
That I don’t need anyone’s permission to take up space.
But right now? I don’t even know where I belong.
I stare out at the road, thinking about hopping on my bike and just going .
But then my thumb hovers over another name.
Theo.
I hesitate. He’s Levi’s kid. The one person I shouldn’t get close to. I don’t want him getting the wrong idea.
But he’s also the only one who’s really seen me since I got here. The only one who checks in, and talks to me like I’m not temporary.
Probably because he likes you, you idiot.
I don’t let myself overthink it.
I hit call. And he picks up on the second ring.
“Hey.”
“Hey,” I say. I try to keep it light. “What are you doing right now?”
“Just finishing up some sketches.” I hear him scratching on some paper, and he pauses. “Why?”
“Wanna go to the lighthouse?”
He’s quiet for a moment.
“You okay?”
No. Not really.
But I don’t say that. I just say, “I feel like exploring.”
That makes him laugh softly.
“Give me ten minutes.”
* * *
The wind bites at my cheeks as we walk, our breath curling in little white clouds that disappear just as fast as they form.
Theo keeps pace beside me, hood pulled up, hands jammed into the pockets of his worn flannel-lined jacket.
We don’t talk at first. Just walk. The sea crashes below in steady, uneven rhythms, and the lighthouse looms like a half-remembered dream against the darkening sky.
“I used to come here a lot,” Theo says eventually, eyes fixed ahead. “Before everything got... complicated.”
I look at him.
“Complicated how?” I ask.
He kicks at a rock on the path, watches it tumble into the grass.
“When my mom got clean, she thought it meant we could go back to the way things were. Like pressing a reset button on all the years she disappeared. But it doesn’t work like that.”
I glance at him, heart tightening.
“Evie?”
He nods.
“Yeah. She tried. But when dad had the show, the fame got to her, you know? She started getting offers. Hanging with the wrong people. Dad worked around the clock and it felt like he was never around anymore. She was just… lost, I guess.”
There’s a long pause. The kind that feels like it’s building to something bigger.
“Josie’s not his,” he says, voice quieter now. “Biologically, I mean.”
I stop walking.
He keeps going with the momentum until he notices I’m not next to him. He looks back at me.
“I… I had no idea,” I say, mouth open in shock.
“Yeah. She’s the kid my mom had with another guy—one of the ones she was with when she was deep in the shit. He bailed before Josie was even born. Dad stepped in.”
“Oh.”
It’s all I can manage to say as everything starts to make more sense.
“He didn’t have to, of course,” Theo says. “But he did. Because he’s Levi. Because he’s built like that—loyal to a fault, even when it fucking guts him.”
We stop near the edge of the cliff. The ocean stretches endlessly in front of us, slate gray and heaving it’s fury against the rock wall.
“He didn’t just raise me,” Theo says. “He saved her. And Josie. Again and again. Even when she kept leaving. Even when she lied and kept using. Even now.”
I’m quiet, because there’s nothing to say that doesn’t sound small.
“I hated him for a while,” Theo admits. “Because I thought he was choosing her over me. But now? I think he just never figured out how to stop being the one who holds everything together.”
My throat tightens.
“That’s a lot.”
“Yeah, he blames himself for putting them in that predicament. If the show hadn’t been such a success. If he hadn’t worked so much. If he would’ve just focused on us… his family.” Theo says. “Then maybe things would’ve been different.”
“Is that what you believe Theo?”
He looks out into the dark ocean and shakes his head.
“Nah. I think mom was going to make her choices. And who are we to know if it would’ve made any difference?”
I nod at that. “Yeah, we all make our choices.”
The wind gusts harder. I tug my coat tighter around me, suddenly aware of just how cold it is.
We stand there for a long moment, the air sharp with salt and sea spray, the ground solid beneath our boots.
“I didn’t know any of that,” I finally say.
“Most people don’t.” He kicks at the dirt again. “Levi doesn’t talk. He just... acts. And sometimes, it’s hard to tell where the man ends and the weight he’s dragging begins.”
I turn to face him.
“Why are you telling me this?”
Theo looks at me. Really looks.
“Because I think you’re starting to matter to him. And if you’re gonna be part of this world... you should know what it costs.”
The words settle deep in my chest.
I think about Levi’s silence. His storms. The way his touch steadies and shatters me in the same breath.
And I think about Julian, drifting. About the way the crew still looks at me like they’re waiting to see if I’ll run. About how I’ve spent so long not belonging anywhere that the ache of almost-fitting hurts worse than being alone.
The sky shifts to a lighter grey as the clouds part slightly giving room for the moon to glow. The lighthouse stands still and silent ahead of us. A witness.
“I don’t know what I am to him,” I whisper.
Theo’s quiet for a beat.
“Maybe that’s what scares him.”
The last time Levi cared, he had everything taken from him.
His wife. His show. His relationship with his son.
If I were him… I’d be scared too.
Theo takes his hand out of his pocket and pulls out a flashlight, handing it over to me. Then pulls out another one for himself.
“Jesus, how many flashlights can you fit in that thing?”
He smiles and it reminds me of Levi’s. Easy and light when he lets it be.
“You ready to do this?” He says, motioning to the lighthouse.
It stands there, a creepy reminder that ghosts can haunt us in so many ways.
I take in a deep breath as I look at it.
“Yeah, I’m ready.”