Chapter 11
Dexter
The same thirty Christmas songs play on a loop and, surprisingly, the repetition doesn’t drive me nuts. Not when I’m the middle of the best holiday break ever.
I’m hosting Christmas with my wife. There are presents under our tree and pies cooking in our oven.
Sabrina was hesitant when she moved in, asking me where things go and such. Now, she’s joyful and confident, entertaining our family and enchanting me by simply being herself. She looks like she belongs here, because of course she does.
From the corner of my eye, I watch Sabrina laugh at something my sister says. Earlier, they both helped Mom make enough desserts for the hockey team.
Now, it’s the men’s turn in the kitchen. Dad and I will prepare the feast for tonight. He’s famous for his prime rib roast recipe, perfected by serving it for every special occasion this past decade.
“Stop ogling your wife and chop the potatoes, son. Dinner will not cook itself.” My dad nudges me.
“I’m not ogling,” I mutter.
He snorts. “Not saying there’s anything wrong with checking out your wife every two minutes. Just don’t do it while you’ve got a knife suspended over your fingers.”
We work quietly for a while, marinating meat and prepping vegetables.
“So, what did you get Sabrina?” my dad asks. “First Christmas together as a married couple is a big deal. I learned that the hard way.”
“What happened? Did you give Mom a vacuum cleaner or something?”
“It was a Dyson!” he exclaims, and we both laugh.
We’re alone in the kitchen, so I answer him.
“Remember that picture of her in the paper? When the Buffalo Blazers won the championship? I had it framed professionally.”
“Good one,” he says with a nod. His approval encourages me to say more.
“Also, I never got the chance to buy her an engagement ring since the elopement happened quickly. So I got her a diamond tennis bracelet instead. She might want to choose her own ring, you know?”
He emits an exaggerated whistle. “Excellent choice. I bet that’s gonna blow her away. You’re going to make me look bad.”
“Why? What did you get Mom?”
“Her favorite chocolates and pickleball lessons,” he says in all seriousness.
I guffaw. He better be kidding. “I’m definitely gonna make you look bad.”
While the pie cools and the roast roasts, everyone goes outside for a walk. There’s a park with hiking trails a few minutes away.
Sabrina and I are in the front of the group when she squeezes my hand. “Thanks for this,” she says.
“That’s my line, Baby Brie,” I mutter while leaning down for a kiss.
“Save it, guys! We gotta work out before eating dinner,” Julia whines behind us.
We trudge along as I steal glances at the woman beside me. For years, we’ve shared laughs and dreams and adventures. Yet this simple walk down a street and the easy companionship we share with family this Christmas is the biggest adventure of all.
Something unlocked in me last night: that place where I’ve shoved the thousands of ways I’ve been drawn to Sabrina through the years.
Under the surface of our friendship, there was always an unacknowledged reservoir of needs: to be closer, to touch more, to see everything.
To be everything she needs. Last night burst open a Pandora’s box of my unspoken feelings and all the reasons we should be together.
She’s beautiful inside and out. She’s the only woman who truly knows me as a person and not just as a successful hockey player. Her determination is inspiring, and our chemistry is off the charts. Making sure she’s happy and healthy and fulfilled sounds like a great life plan to me.
My thoughts are interrupted by an unexpected sigh.
“Are you OK, Sabrina? Do you miss your parents?” I ask. “They know there’s room for them here if they ever want to visit.”
“They know,” she answers. Her voice is nearly a whisper. I pull her to me for a side hug and kiss the top of her head.
“The trail starts here,” I call to my family while pointing ahead.
They get in front of us.
When they’re beyond earshot, she continues in a volume meant only for my ears.
“The last few months have been exhausting for them. Taking me to appointments when I couldn’t drive myself. Helping me with my physical therapy exercises those first few weeks. It kills me how much they’ve had to sacrifice when something so random changed our lives.”
Slowing down to add distance from the group, I stop and turn her toward me.
“It isn’t a sacrifice to help you, Sabrina. It’s an honor.”
Her face softens, the anxiety melting like heated snow. It’s the most natural thing in the world to kiss her. She tastes like Christmas: cinnamon and maple syrup and candy canes. Our kiss deepens before I feel her hand on my chest.
Pushing away, she gives me a scolding frown.
“They’re waiting for us.”
“The trail is a loop,” I say. “They’ll end up here eventually.”
She snorts. “You’re a terrible outdoor guide.”
“I have other talents,” I tease, enjoying her exaggerated eye roll.
“I wasn’t sure if we were going to be, you know, ourselves today,” she says hesitantly.
“You mean obsessed with food and hockey? That’s not changing any time soon, Sabrina.”
“Are you going to make me spell it out, Dex?” she asks. “When we talked about making a mistake, I thought it was for just one night. But this morning . . .”
I pull her to the next tree, because she needs to hear me. Really hear me. Her back to the trunk, I engulf her in my arms and indulge in a nuzzle against her neck.
“You think you can stop after one night? I know for a fact I can’t.”
Instead of agreeing with me, she averts her gaze and changes the subject.
“I talked to my mom today. Before I went downstairs.”
“Did something bad happen?” I hope not. The last thing her parents need is more struggles.
“No, nothing like that. Let’s talk about it after Christmas. It’s not an emergency or anything.”
She’s down to a whisper. Not a good sign.
“You’ve got me worried. Talk to me. Whatever the issue is, I’m here for you. We’ll figure things out together.”
“God, Dex, seriously? Why are you so damn helpful and considerate all the time?” Her eyes are wide and her cheeks flushed. “I thought you were an amazing friend. It turns out you’re a perfect husband, too! What the fuck?”
“You hear yourself, right?” I laugh and she joins me. I see the moment Sabrina decides to confide in me.
“She was super excited about news she got from the lawyer. There’s been a shift in the defense’s strategy. They’ve been playing hardball but reached out for a meeting after Christmas. It’s a good sign that a reasonable settlement is around the corner.”
“That’s awesome, right?”
“Is it?” she asks, her forehead crinkled in worry. “Why did we go through everything if the resolution was around the corner?”
“What are you talking about?”
“This! Everything you’re doing for me.” Sabrina raises both arms to her sides, gesturing at god knows what.
“Sabrina, I don’t see a problem. We do things for each other all the time.”
“Dex, all the risks and the lying and the pretense. How could I make you do so much for me when what I should have done was wait a little longer? The payout would cover all my medical bills.”
“Are you telling me that if the settlement came, you wouldn’t have . . .” I can’t even say it.
“Why would I force you to marry me?”
“Force me?”
Is she kidding right now? I bite my tongue because I’m liable to say something loud and crass.
“You could be with anybody,” she mumbles. “My injuries and the uncertainty of my health and career, you shouldn’t have to worry about that. I dragged you into this, and I shouldn’t have.”
“No one dragged me into anything. You couldn’t be more wrong.”
“You say that because you’re a good man.”
I press our bodies together, her softness pliant between my heavy groin and the tree trunk. “Would a good man put you on your knees and fuck you till you can’t think straight?”
I sound like an asshole, but I don’t care. I’m getting upset. For some reason, I want her to be just as pissed. This conversation is so wrong, I’d rather have a fight.
Instead of matching my vehemence, Sabrina’s eyes soften.
“Yes, Dex. Even when you put me on my knees and fuck me so hot my brain cells get fried, you’re somehow still thinking about me. Caring about me. So damn good to me.”
Her voice trails off, so I barely hear her say, “Too good for me.”
I’ve had enough.
I release her from my embrace in order to send a group text to my family. Sabrina and I are heading back now. Feel free to take a couple of turns.
“Let’s go,” I exclaim, grabbing her hand.
She pulls back, surprised and unsure. “But they’re waiting for us. Dex! Your family is—”
I reach down and sweep her into the cradle of my arms. Her squeal is adorable, but I cut it short with a wet, hungry kiss. She clings to my neck, our tongues entangled and mouths crushed.
When we come up for air, I state, “You are either walking back with me so we can talk about this privately, or I’m going to carry you all the way home so we can talk about this privately. What’s it going to be?”
“I’ll, um, I’ll walk.”
I put her down. Grabbing her hand, we set a brisk pace. We’re both so heated from the kiss, the exertion, and the urgency, thick white mist follows us all the way home.
I lead her into our bedroom and point to the bed.
“Wait here,” I bark.
“But—”
“You expect me to eat your pussy every time I ask you to do something for me, wife? Because I’m totally fine with that.”
“Dex!”
“Wait. Here.”
I leave to gather everything I need.