22 friday night snacks
Declan's idea of "keeping it casual" involves inviting everyone.
Which is how I end up in his driveway on a Friday night, leaning against the side of his car while he digs through the trunk for something he insists is important.
There's music playing from somewhere inside the house, low enough to feel like background noise instead of a party, and the air still holds that leftover heat from the day.
It would've been fine if it was just us.
It's not.
Jess is already sitting on the curb, legs stretched out in front of her, talking about something that sounds like a story she's told before but is still committed to telling again.
Riley's next to her, shoulder brushing Jess's in a way that looks automatic, like it's not something she thinks about anymore.
And then there's-
her.
Madi's sitting on the edge of the curb, one foot on the pavement, the other resting lightly against the street, like she couldn't decide whether to stay or leave and settled somewhere in between. She looks up when I get closer, expression already halfway to unimpressed.
"You're late," she says.
"I'm on time."
"That's what people say when they're late."
"That's what people say when they don't want to be wrong."
She tilts her head slightly, like she's deciding whether that's worth responding to.
It isn't.
Which is new.
Usually she would've pushed it.
Now she just looks away, attention shifting back to whatever Jess is saying, like she doesn't need to keep the conversation going just to prove a point.
I notice that, but I don't comment on it.
Declan finally shuts the trunk, holding up a bag like it explains everything. "Snacks."
"That took five minutes," Jess says.
"It's an important selection process."
"You grabbed the first thing you saw."
"That's still a process."
Riley smiles slightly, leaning back on her hands. "What did you get?"
Declan tosses the bag toward her. "Trust me."
"That's never reassuring," she says, but opens it anyway.
I move closer without thinking about it, stopping just behind where Madi's sitting. There's enough space on the curb, but not much, and when I lower myself next to her, our shoulders brush briefly.
It's nothing.
It should be nothing.
Except... it lingers for half a second longer than it needs to. She shifts slightly. Not away, just... adjusting, like she noticed it but didn't make it a thing. I do the same. Neither of us says anything about it.
Jess notices.
Of course she does.
Her gaze flicks between us for a second before she looks back at Riley, like she's filing it away for later.
Declan drops down on the other side of me, already reaching into the bag. "If this turns into a bonding moment, I want credit."
"It's not turning into anything," I say.
"It already is," he replies easily.
"It's really not," Madi adds, not even looking at him.
Declan grins. "See. Perfect alignment."
"That's not what that is," she says.
Riley glances up, eyes moving between all of us. "You guys sound coordinated."
"We're not coordinated," I say.
Jess laughs quietly. "That's the concerning part."
I lean back slightly, resting my hands behind me on the pavement, letting the conversation move around me without trying to control it.
That's the difference. Usually, there's something to manage, something to maintain. Now it just-
happens.
Madi reaches into the bag without asking, pulling something out and examining it like she doesn't trust it.
"You chose this," she says to Declan.
"I did."
"That explains a lot."
"It's good."
She considers that for a second, then shrugs slightly and opens it anyway.
I watch her do it without meaning to.
The small movements, the way she leans forward slightly, the way her hair falls just enough that she has to push it back without thinking-
It's not anything specific, just there.
"You're staring," Declan says under his breath.
"I'm not."
"You are."
"I'm looking in that direction."
"That's not helping your case."
I ignore him, shifting my focus back to the group as Jess launches into another story, Riley listening in that quiet, attentive way she always does.
Madi laughs at something Jess says. Not loud, not exaggerated, just natural.
I glance at her again. She's still holding the snack, half-opened, like she forgot about it for a second.
Then she catches me looking. And instead of turning it into something-
she just raises an eyebrow slightly.
A silent question.
I shake my head once. She nods like that's enough.
And then it's over. No comment, no follow-up, nothing to push against.
It leaves the moment-
unfinished.
Or maybe just-
not forced into anything else.
Declan watches the entire exchange like it's the most entertaining thing he's seen all week.
"You guys are getting better at this," he says.
"At what?" Madi asks.
"Whatever this is."
"This is nothing," she replies.
"That's what makes it impressive."
Jess leans forward slightly, resting her chin in her hand. "You're not even trying anymore."
"That's not true," I say.
"It is," she says. "Before, it felt like effort."
"And now?"
"Now it feels like you forgot to keep pretending."
There's a brief pause after that.
Riley glances at Jess, then back at us. "It's easier when you stop forcing it."
Madi looks down at her hands for a second, then back up. "There's nothing to force."
"Right," Jess says, but she's smiling in a way that says she doesn't believe that.
I shift slightly, my arm brushing against Madi's again. This time-
neither of us moves right away. It's small, barely there, but it's enough.
Enough that I notice it.
Enough that she does too.
She exhales quietly, like she's about to say something, then doesn't. Instead, she leans back slightly, just enough to create space without making it obvious.
I do the same.
Declan watches that too.
Of course he does.
"This is my favorite ongoing situation," he says.
"You need better hobbies," Madi replies.
"I have great hobbies," he says. "This is one of them."
Jess laughs, leaning into Riley again. Riley shifts slightly so it's easier, her hand resting briefly against Jess's arm like it's automatic.
Everything here feels-
easy, uncomplicated.
And that's the part that doesn't fit. Because it should still feel like something we're managing.
Instead, it feels like something we're just-
in.
I look at Madi again, just briefly. She's focused on something Jess is saying, but there's a small crease between her brows like she's thinking about something else at the same time.
She glances back at me a second later. Not surprised, like she expected it. And for a second-
it lines up.
The timing.
The look.
The way neither of us reacts to it, like it's normal.
It's not.
Which means-
this is slipping.
Not publicly.
That part's already obvious.
But here-
like this-
it's not just performance anymore.
And I don't say anything about it. Because saying something would make it real in a way I'm not ready to deal with.
So I don't.
I lean back, let the conversation keep moving, let Declan keep talking, let Jess laugh, let Riley quietly observe everything.
And I don't overthink it.
Or at least-
I try not to.