41 six pm lights
Vegas at night feels like it's trying to prove something.
Everything is louder. Brighter. Too much in a way that somehow works anyway-the arena glowing under artificial lights, people pouring in like this is the only place that matters right now.
It kind of is.
The second we step inside, the noise hits-sharp, electric, alive. It's not like the games back home. Bigger rink, bigger crowd, voices echoing higher, heavier, like everything carries further here.
"Okay," Jess says, already halfway yelling over the noise. "This is insane."
"You say that like you didn't expect it," Riley replies, calm as always, but her eyes are scanning everything, taking it in.
"I expected it," Jess says. "I didn't expect to feel like I'm in a movie."
I don't say anything. Because I get it. I just... feel it differently.
We find our seats, settling in with the kind of restless energy that comes before something starts. Jess is talking-she's always talking-but I'm only half listening, my attention already pulled toward the ice like it knows exactly where it wants to be.
It's not performative anymore.
That's the thing.
There's no one here I need to prove anything to. No camera angled just right. No expectation I have to meet.
And still... I'm here. Because I want to be.
The teams come out, skates cutting sharp lines into the ice, and my chest tightens before I can stop it when I spot him.
It's immediate, unfairly immediate.
Caiden moves like he belongs here, like the noise, the lights, the pressure-it all feeds into something in him instead of taking anything away. There's a focus to him I've seen before, but it feels sharper now, more real when I'm watching it like this.
Not from a distance, not through a screen.
Jess nudges me lightly. "You're staring."
"I'm watching the game," I say, too quickly.
"Mhm."
Riley doesn't comment, but I can feel the way she notices anyway.
The game starts fast, faster than usual.
Everything feels more intense-hits harder, passes quicker, the sound of skates against ice cutting through the noise like something precise and controlled under all the chaos.
And I'm... in it.
Actually in it.
Every time he gets the puck, my attention snaps tighter without me meaning it to. Every near-miss pulls something in my chest that I don't try to analyze because I already know I won't like the answer.
This is different, I'm different.
Midway through the second period, it happens.
It's quick.
A turnover near the boards, a pass that shouldn't quite make it but does, clean and sharp, and suddenly Caiden has space.
I lean forward without realizing it.
Jess is saying something beside me, but it fades out completely as he moves-fast, controlled, cutting through the defense like he already knows exactly where this is going.
It's instinct.
All of it.
The shot.
The sound.
The split second where everything holds-
And then the puck hits the net.
Goal.
The arena explodes.
And so do I. "Yes-!"
It rips out of me before I can stop it, loud and sharp and completely unfiltered. Not calculated, not controlled, just... mine.
For a second, I don't even realize what I've done.
Until Jess goes very, very still beside me.
And Riley slowly turns her head.
"...you wanna try that again?" Jess says, way too calm for someone who is absolutely not calm.
My mouth opens... and closes.
"I-" I start, then stop, because there's nothing I can say that doesn't make it worse.
Riley's lips twitch slightly, like she's trying not to smile.
"Instinct," she says quietly.
Jess looks between us, then back at me, eyes narrowing in a way that means she's storing this away for later.
"Oh, we're talking about this," she says. "Not now. But we are definitely-"
"Jess," I cut in.
"-talking about it."
I ignore her. Or try to. Because the worse part isn't even them. It's... him.
Across the rink, in the middle of the celebration, Caiden turns slightly, scanning the stands like he's looking for something without making it obvious.
And then-
his eyes find mine.
It's not dramatic, it's not slow, but it's there.
Recognition. Immediate, like he knew exactly where to look.
My breath catches before I can stop it.
I should look away. I don't, not right away. Neither does he. It holds, just long enough to feel like something more than coincidence.
Then the moment breaks-teammates pulling him in, noise crashing back in around us, everything moving again like it didn't just pause.
But it did.
I sit back slowly, my pulse still off-beat, my chest tighter than it should be for something as simple as... a goal.
Jess leans closer. "You cheered," she says under her breath.
"I know."
"For him."
"I know."
Riley doesn't say anything this time. She just watches me. And that's worse. Because she's not surprised, she's just... waiting.
The rest of the game passes in flashes.
I still watch, still react, but now I'm aware of it in a way I wasn't before-every shift, every glance, every moment that feels just a little too real for something that was supposed to be controlled.
They win.
Of course they do.
The energy after is chaotic, loud, people standing, shouting, the kind of victory that fills the entire space like it belongs to them.
But even in the middle of all that-
I find him again.
And this time-
I don't even try to pretend I wasn't looking.