Chapter 4
Luna
The sun shines brighter this morning in Kingston upon Thames as the days slip further into May.
I walk alongside Mum while doing our bi-weekly shopping in the market, where they always have the freshest and best-tasting fruits and vegetables.
Additionally, the mouthwatering smells emanating from the different stalls don’t hurt to be around often.
And Mum always insists on shopping here to support local vendors and also to have some quality mother-daughter time, which I look forward to more since Apollo died.
She is doing better than she was a year ago, when everything was raw and stinging, and I’m glad she and Appa have been keeping each other strong.
‘How’s your project going, muffin?’ she asks as she picks a tomato and holds it to her eye level to inspect it better.
‘It’s going well, Mum, some small issues to sort out after which I can start typing up the report.’
‘That’s good. But I hope you are giving yourself a break. It would be nice to go out with friends sometimes, Lulu.’ She puts a few more tomatoes in the basket and looks at me, her eyebrows creasing in the middle.
I hate that I am worrying her about me overworking.
I have stopped telling her about any of my problems since Apollo died, specifically to prevent this.
I don’t want her to worry about me on top of everything that has happened with our family.
I want to reply that I will try meeting new people.
But ... Sorry, Luna, I can’t do this anymore.
I don’t know how to deal with you. The voices run through my head like a warning.
I still haven’t gotten over the sting of what happened with Charlie.
I can’t do that to myself again. I will be better off alone.
‘I’ll be okay, Mum. It is important that I put all my effort into this project so that I can have the best chances of getting through the competitive astrobiology PhD programs.’
Mum’s face immediately softens, and she cups my cheek. ‘Muffin, breathe, please. It’s okay to take a break sometimes. I know you’ll do amazing. You are the smartest girl I’ve ever known,’ she says.
My heart warms hearing this from my mother; my family has always been the biggest supporters of whatever I do. They’ve supported me ever since my childhood, when I borrowed an astronomy book from the library and decided that I would one day go to space. ‘Thanks, Mum, that means a lot.’
After an hour and a half of shopping and catching up with each other, I want to stop by my favourite cafe in the town centre to get a chocolate croissant. But Mum says she is tired and wants to go home. I wave her goodbye and walk by myself to Cafe Leche.
The door chimes as I push through it (since it’s an older cafe), and I get hit by a wave of sweet aromas and instantly get drawn to the display of freshly baked pastries.
I order a chocolate croissant to go, and once I get the bag, I turn to leave, but I catch sight of someone sitting at one of the tables.
Cooper is sitting there wearing a flannel shirt on top of a white t-shirt; his hair is tousled carelessly, and curls fall in every direction.
He has pencil marks all over his fingers, probably from rubbing across the harsh lines on the drawing in the sketchbook he is holding.
He also has a few marks on his chin, which I guess he hasn’t realised.
He looks at ease, like he was plucked out of a painting and placed here as if by design of the universe.
A small flutter goes through my stomach as I continue to observe him from a distance.
It’s amazing how people exist around us, and we might have been in the same place multiple times, but only after we get to know them personally do we start noticing them. How many times have Cooper and I crossed paths without recognising each other?
I walk over to his table and sit across from him. He looks up from his sketch to notice me. He takes a second to realise it’s me, but once his brain catches up, a smile spreads across his face, his eyes widen, and his eyebrows move up for a microsecond.
‘Hi, Luna, fancy meeting you here.’
‘This is my favourite cafe in Kingston, the chocolate croissants are to die for. And I couldn’t help but be part of the creation of an artistic masterpiece,’ I respond with a tinge of playfulness in my tone.
‘They do have delectable pastries. I agree.’ After a second, he continues. ‘Please feel free to sit here for however long you want; you might eventually become my muse.’
Heat travels to my cheeks, and I break eye contact with him to look around for a moment. I try to change the topic. ‘I wanted to ask, how did you know that I was studying aerospace engineering? I never told you about it.’
‘Well, I noticed the titles of the books you dropped on the day we met, and I made an educated guess,’ he responds with a smirk on his face.
‘Ahaa, in that case, should I make an educated guess and say that you are studying art?’ I say as I look back and forth between him and the sketchbook.
‘Ouch, I’m actually a medical student,’ Cooper says, his face turning serious.
Embarrassment rises in me, and all I can respond is, ‘Oh.’
Cooper immediately starts laughing. ‘I’m sorry, I am playing with you. I’m afraid I’m guilty of being an artist.’ He raises both of his hands, palms facing towards me, as if to surrender. ‘I’m doing my master's in fine arts. I focus mostly on portraits,’ he says, trying to break the tension.
I try to go back to normal, but my cheeks are still warm. I subconsciously place a hand on my face, trying to hide the redness. ‘That sounds interesting. Can I see your work?’ I ask, intrigued.
He slowly closes the sketchbook in his hand. ‘At least take a man out to dinner first,’ he says teasingly.
A laugh comes out of me unprovoked. It has been a year since I laughed out loud.
I catch my breath and look at Cooper, who has been looking at me with amusement in his eyes.
His attention is fully on me and hasn’t wavered even for a second.
The way he looks at me feels like he isn’t only looking at me; he sees me.
But when I let someone truly see me, they have so much of me that they can use to hurt me with.
Instead of running away from the conversation like usual, I stand from my seat and politely excuse myself. ‘It was nice to meet you, Cooper. I do have to be somewhere now.’
Before I leave the table, Cooper speaks from behind me. ‘Luna, wait. When can I see you again?’ His eyes widened for a split second – like he just shocked himself from what he said. It doesn’t look like he did this often.
‘I don’t know if I can, Cooper,’ I respond, my voice softer.
‘Maybe we can go on a riverside walk together? Just as friends, no pressure to stay, you can leave whenever you want.’ He hurries in a word vomit.
It does sound nice, the riverside walk. But my walls are built high, and my brain is protective of my heart. I stand there in silence.
He notices my hesitation and adds. ‘What’s the worst that could happen?’
He’s right. I deprived myself of any happiness and avoided talking to people for a year now.
But I am pulled towards Cooper’s enthusiasm.
He seems interesting, and I want to get to know him more.
Despite the alarms in my brain, I nod. He quickly stands from his chair and stops right in front of me, towering over me and juts his hand out. ‘Shake on it?’ he asks.
I smile and lift my hand to meet his. ‘Deal.’