Chapter 5
Chapter Five
After dinner, Madeline sat by the fire in the parlor, mending one of Penelope’s caps, while the children played cards at the table.
She had just threaded her needle, when two shiny black boots and a pair of muscular legs in tawny brown breeches appeared in her line of vision.
She glanced up at Adam, who was gazing down at her.
He gestured at the chair opposite hers. “May I?”
“Of course.”
He sat down and crossed one long leg over the other. The fire snapped and crackled, and the children burst into laughter about something.
“Allow me to say that I hope you are not regretting the way things have turned out,” he said quietly.
Madeline poked her needle through the white lace cap she held on her knees. “It doesn’t matter. It’s not your fault.”
“But I do feel responsible. If I had never sent the proposal, you would not be here among strangers.”
Madeline was careful not to let her cool exterior crack. “You are not a stranger, Mr. Coates. Not entirely. I did know you once. A long time ago.”
“Yes,” he replied thoughtfully. “It was a long time ago, wasn’t it? Who would have guessed the years would pass so quickly?”
She lifted the needle high over her head to pull it through the seam. “They do pass quickly, don’t they? It seems like only yesterday that you rode into our yard for the first time.” You wore a long, black cloak.
The firelight flickered across Adam’s face as he held her in his contemplative gaze. Madeline felt her blood begin to rush through her veins. She hoped it was not coloring her cheeks.
“I do recall,” he said with a hint of amusement, “that you enjoyed magic tricks.”
A warmth moved through her. She hadn’t thought he remembered anything beyond her bothersome presence—intruding upon his private moments with Diana and refusing to leave when they asked her to.
“You used to make a coin disappear. Then you would retrieve it from behind the butter crock.”
He smiled. “I do the same trick for Penelope now, but instead of the butter crock, I retrieve the coin from her nose.”
Madeline laughed. The beat of her pulse eased a little.
“You were Penelope’s age then,” he said.
“I was.”
“Looking at you now helps me to remember.” He stared at her for a long, lingering moment. “You seemed curious about the farm last night at dinner. Or were you just making conversation?”
“Someone had to,” she said with a hint of humor, which garnered another smile from him. “But I was genuinely curious as well.”
“If you like, on the way to the fort tomorrow, I could show you around the area. It’s the least I can do.”
Madeline felt her mood lift slightly. “I would like that very much. Would we see some dykes? I am curious to know how they work.”
He nodded, looking pleased with her enthusiasm. “Do you enjoy riding?”
“More than anything.”
“Then I’ll take you down onto the marsh in the morning.”
She eagerly agreed and the conversation turned to Yorkshire. Madeline told Adam news about some of the people he once knew, and he asked about the earl who had been his landlord, and how the tenant farmers were faring with all the rent increases.
An hour later, it was time to retire. The boys went upstairs and Adam stayed behind to snuff out the candles.
As Madeline climbed the stairs, feeling invigorated from her first pleasant discourse with Adam, she found herself anxiously anticipating their morning ride. There was a sweet fluttering in her belly, not unlike the way her belly had fluttered aboard ship, when they were nearing the coast.
She stopped on the landing halfway up the stairs, and squeezed the railing tightly in her hand. This nervous, giddy feeling was most certainly not a good thing.
Perhaps she should not have accepted Adam’s invitation. Perhaps she should have feigned disinterest and requested that he take her straight to the fort.
But that would have been telling a lie, and she truly wanted to go, so much so, that she had momentarily forgotten about her vow to protect her heart. She could only hope there would be no harm in it.
* * *
Before breakfast, Madeline passed by Mary’s open door. Mary lay quietly on the bed, her blond curls splayed out upon the pillow, her expression solemn as she gazed at the bright sash window. Her head turned when she heard Madeline’s heels across the threshold.
“Madeline. I’m so glad you’re here. Please, come in.” She tried to sit up.
“Am I disturbing you? You look melancholy.”
“Melancholy? Perhaps I am, a little. I was thinking of Jacob and our baby and hoping that all will go well.”
Madeline sat down beside the bed and covered Mary’s hand with her own. “I’m sure everything will be fine.”
“I wish the doctor thought so. He’s ordered me to stay in bed until after the baby comes, and sometimes…
sometimes I feel as if I will go mad. He allows me to take a turn about the room only twice a day, just to keep my legs in working order, and it’s all I can do to keep from bolting out the door to escape and be with Jacob.
I miss him so much, Madeline, sometimes I fear I’m going to crumble to pieces.
And here I am, all alone in this room staring at the same four walls day after day, doing nothing but worrying about having this baby. I wish he were here with me now.”
A wave of commiseration for what Mary must be feeling coursed through Madeline. Childbirth. So much could go wrong.
She squeezed Mary’s hand again. “I am certain that when you hold your baby in your arms for the first time, all this will be forgotten.”
“You’re probably right.” Mary’s voice brightened a bit, but Madeline knew the girl was still anxious.
“Do you like it here?” Mary asked, changing the subject. “Or are you anxious to return home?”
“I’m not anxious to go,” Madeline replied. “Even though things did not work out for me here, there is nothing for me there either. My father doesn’t need me. I’m more of a burden to him than anything. I want very much to make my own way, and it might as well be here.”
“What will you do?”
“I can be a governess.”
“For Mr. Coates?”
The question lodged like a musket ball in Madeline’s heart. “Probably not. But I know a family from the ship who I believe would be pleased to have me in their employ. They have four young children and we are going to see them today.”
“Why wouldn’t you be a governess for Mr. Coates?”
Madeline stumbled over a few possible replies, none of which would do.
Thankfully, Mary continued talking. “He’s going to need some help soon, I think. I used to help out with the children, but after the baby comes, Jacob and I will move into our own home before the end of the summer. Jacob already has our fields planted.”
“What about Mrs. Dalton?”
“Agnes loves the children, certainly, but she does so many other things, she doesn’t have time to teach them their numbers. And it matters a great deal to Adam to have his children schooled.”
Madeline didn’t know what to say. She supposed there wasn’t really anything to say. She had already made up her mind.
“I should hate to think you’ll be leaving us so soon,” Mary said. “You’ve only just arrived, and I like that you’re here with us.”
“Yes, but it was my sister Mr. Coates meant to bring, and if she comes, then I should—”
“Wouldn’t you want to live here with your sister? Were you not close?”
There was that question again.
Madeline didn’t know how to answer it. How could she explain that the problem was more about Adam than it was about Diana, and her feelings were too complex to even understand them herself?
One minute she found Adam cold and unfeeling. The next minute, he was apologizing and talking about shillings in noses, making her feel giddy and nervous when she knew she shouldn’t feel anything but a sisterly regard.
Adam’s heart belonged to Diana and there was no point in hoping that would ever change. Not when she was so certain that Diana would come.
Besides all that, how could Madeline be sure that if she expressed her deepest feelings to Mary, the entire household wouldn’t know by sunset?
That would be far too humiliating.
“My leaving has nothing to do with Diana,” Madeline explained. “I’m simply a very independent person.”
Mary smiled. “I guessed that about you. You were very brave to come all the way from England by yourself, and then, to have your hopes dashed.” She shook her head.
“In my opinion, Mr. Coates owes you at least a comfortable place to stay as long as you like. None of this was your fault. And don’t be in any hurry to find employment, either.
Take your time and be sure to find the right position. ”
“I will,” Madeline replied. “But it wasn’t Adam’s fault, either,” she added, wishing afterward that she hadn’t leaped so quickly to his defense.
Mary gazed at her for a long moment before she finally nodded and reached for the cards.
* * *
Adam and Madeline started off at a trot through the early morning haze, the thumping of the horses’ hooves mingling pleasantly with the chirping of sharp-tailed sparrows in the leafy sugar maples. Frost covered the ground and glistened like a blanket of tiny diamonds in the sun.
Madeline looked about at the low fog hanging over the land. “Is it unusual to have frost so late in the spring?”
“Not for Cumberland.”
“What about the crops? How do you manage to get everything done when you have to wait so long for the ground to thaw?”
“We plow in the fall. But don’t worry, this won’t last much longer. In another week, you’ll be fluttering your fan everywhere you go.”
“I am not worried,” she replied, unable to keep from smiling. “And I still haven’t seen any of those mosquitoes you were so adamant about the other day.”
Her teasing tone made Adam smile, too. “Ah, yes, the mosquitoes. They’re as big as groundhogs, you know.”
“Groundhogs!” She laughed. “What do you take me for, Adam Coates? I may be a young Yorkshire lass, but I do have a head between my ears.”
“So I’ve learned,” he conceded.