23. Amorette #2
Neither was Grace, to be fair. Maman always said we were her tough little girls, ready to face anything. To conquer anything. I think Maman needed to believe that as much as we did.
But just a few weeks away from home, and I barely recognized myself.
Arms bundled me up and carried me through the apartment. I closed my eyes. I didn’t want to see where he was taking me. Then I knew when he set me down on what could only be a couch.
I curled up in a ball, resting my head against the back as I let the tears fall, hating the way I felt weak, despising the hand I had in that man’s death. It was just too much.
Maybe this would be the last time I cried like this.
The death of my innocence. I snickered and ended up choking on my spit.
I’d never considered myself innocent. I was cynical and distrustful because of the nature of my job.
Grace was always the shiny one who saw the world through some princess lens of perfection only she could wield.
The world was there to be enjoyed, according to her.
Yet, innocence was the only thing I could liken this feeling to.
I used my skirt to wipe my face and opened my eyes.
Lafe sat in the leather chair next to the couch, his hands steepled as he watched me.
Images of the first time I saw him flashed through my brain.
He was the same kind of beautiful, with his blond hair casually tousled around his head.
His brow was furrowed as his gaze seemed to track the tears stains on my face.
It was awkward sitting here while he watched me break down. The tears seemed to come easier in his presence than the others. Did they confuse him as they confused me?
“Grey doesn’t take to people at all. Not really. But he liked something about you. Was he mean to you?” Lafe asked, like he needed to know that answer.
I shook my head.
“Did he accidentally hurt you? He does like a little pain.”
He assumed we’d had sex. Lafe wasn’t as far off the mark as I’d like him to be. Grey was a killer, and I’d let him touch me. Nearly begged for it.
“No,” I said softly.
“Then why did you try to leave?”
I closed my eyes and dropped my head back, hopefully obscuring the view he had of my face. “I told you, just like I told Grey. I don’t belong here. I’ve done nothing wrong. Back home, I have a family, a life, a career. You all can’t keep me.”
His labored sigh had me opening my eyes to see him scrubbing at his.
“Is that what you think? That we want to keep you like some doll?” An incredulous note threaded through his voice.
“You have no idea what’s really going on.
I know you think you aren’t a threat to us, but I assure you, you are.
And I was the stupid f?ne who had a momentary lapse of judgment.
I saw something in you that I didn’t want to see broken.
And all you’ve done is spit in our faces when we haven't done anything to you.”
I had. I had done exactly that. He’d saved me in his own twisted way, but I’d only wanted to go home. Hearing how he viewed it though, I felt like an ungrateful brat, especially when my trying to leave had nothing to do with him.
“Let me educate you on something. Then maybe you’ll understand why we won’t let you go home.” His sapphire eyes burned from within as he leaned forward, as if he was about to share his deepest secrets with me.
I didn’t want to know, but at the same time, I couldn’t open my mouth to stop him.
“Andre, Parker, Grey, and I…we’re brothers. But you already know that don’t you?”
I nodded.
“What you don’t know is that we’re the sons of the largest crime lord in South America.
He has his hand in pretty much every profitable criminal activity.
He’s on every “Most Wanted List” you could possibly think of.
He has politicians, police, and many major military intelligence agents in his pocket.
The only way he deals with insubordination is death.
If you’re lucky enough not to be locked up with his pain master first. You thought Randall was bad?
You have no idea.” He shook his head, like he was shaking free some long-forgotten memory he wished had stayed buried.
“Everyone knows our connection to him. He doesn’t make it a secret.
That’s the kind of information you’d be taking with you if we just graciously let you go. ”
“I didn’t ask for this!” I spewed. At this point, I was a broken record. There were no other words to describe what had happened to me or why I shouldn’t be held accountable.
If I was honest with myself, I had started to come to terms with it, but after watching Grey…my mental map had been set back five steps.
"I know you didn’t.” Lafe softened his voice, and for the first time, I felt like he held some remorse for my situation.
“But that doesn’t change the fact that I love my brothers, and I would never place them on Vicente’s chopping block.
Because that’s what would happen. I liked your spirit.
But Killer, we aren't the enemy you want us to be.”
His words speared my heart, and damn him for making me empathize with him. Grace was my other half, and if it came down to it, I could never leave her out to dry. Not for anything or anyone.
Fuck. But like the stubborn bitch I was, I didn’t let it go. That understanding turned to damned righteousness.
“You weren’t there. I watched Grey kill someone just because I asked him to help me.
” I thumped my chest. “I did that. I asked for help, and Grey beat that man to death.” Those traitorous tears of mine start to burn the back of my eyes again.
“You can’t tell me you’re not the bad guys.
You’re murderers, kidnappers, and who knows what else.
” I brushed the tears away as if that would stop him from seeing my breaking point.
He laughed darkly, standing up. “I never said we weren’t the bad guys.
Everyone you come into contact with has some sin staining their soul, I’m sure.
But we aren’t the worst. There’s true evil out there, and we aren’t it.
However—” He stepped back like he couldn’t wait to get away from me.
“I want you to think about something. Grey, the psycho, the murderer as you called him, he saved your ass. Ramos? The guard he killed? He was Vicente’s top guard.
You were never going to escape with him.
And I don’t want to think about what he had planned for you when you so prettily put yourself in his hands. ”
He took one more step and pointed to the closest door. His layout was the same, so I knew what that room was.
“That’s the guest room. It’s yours until we figure out what to do with you.”
Then he disappeared through what was probably the master bedroom.
I could barely process his words, though. My brain was still stuck on what he’d said about Grey.
That couldn’t have been right. He couldn’t have saved me. No, he’d stopped me from escaping, and that was it, right?
I needed to find him. I needed to know exactly what had happened. Only, I had to convince Lafe to let me out. And this time, I needed to do it the right way.