Chapter 15
15
Silas
When we arrived at Cash and Britt’s apartment, my sister wasn’t home. I’d expected her to pick us up at the airport, but instead, Cash had his truck in the long-term parking lot.
He opened the door to their guest bedroom, and I stepped inside. “I know it’s small, but it should work for a couple of days. There’s also a guest bathroom across the hall.”
The room was about a quarter the size of my bedroom in LA and even smaller than the one I’d had at rehab, but I didn’t care. It wasn’t like I was moving in permanently. “This is fine.”
“I’ll give you a few minutes to unpack while I order dinner. Are you good with pizza?”
I nodded. “That’d be great. The facility kept us on a healthy diet, which I need to talk to Jasper about staying on. You’ll meet him later, but he’s Malachi’s boyfriend”—that still sounded odd to me—“and Jesse’s younger brother who also happens to be our chef on the road. He makes the best food you’ll ever eat. But for now, some greasy, cheesy carbs sound damn good. ”
“Do you like combination or are you an all-meat guy?”
“Definitely all meat. I need a break from the veggies.” I chuckled.
“You got it. Come meet me in the kitchen when you’re done.”
“It might be a few minutes. I’m supposed to call Rina, so I’m going to do that too, but don’t worry, I’ll leave the door open.”
He smiled. “I know all of this is new for you, and I promise you my intention is not for you to feel like I’m watching your every move. Over time we’ll be increasing the amount of privacy you have. But before we get to that point, we need to keep working on the skills you need to be successful in your recovery.”
Everything he said made sense, and between what one of my therapists had explained to me before I left rehab and my conversations with Cash on the way to Boston, I understood how things were supposed to play out. But it was still odd knowing someone else was essentially overseeing every part of my life for the next several weeks.
“I’m sure I’ll get used to you acting as my shadow in no time.” I chuckled. “And based on our snowboarding trip, I don’t think you’ll annoy me too much.”
“Maybe just a little.” He smirked and walked away.
I pulled out the clothes I’d brought and hung them up. Then, I set out a few of my toiletries in the bathroom. Once that was done, I grabbed my phone and video-called Rina.
“Hey!” she greeted me with a huge grin on her face. “You look good. How are you feeling? How was your flight to Boston?”
I laughed at her rapid-fire questions. “I’m good, and the flight was uneventful. How are you doing? The guys said you were close to finalizing plans for the rest of the tour?”
I still felt guilty for messing up our original schedule, and no matter how many times everyone promised they cared more about me getting help than the concerts, I couldn’t seem to let it go. It was something I had talked about with the therapist at rehab and would likely need to continue working through with my new therapist in LA.
Rina leaned forward and rested her elbows on her desk. “I am. The last time we talked, you were on board with performing the two Boston shows and the New York one. I want to make sure you’re still okay with that and don’t feel we’re pushing you to come back too soon.”
“Not at all. Playing music is the thing I’ve missed the most. I won’t let you down.”
She shook her head. “I know you won’t, but your health is our priority. I’ve got dates reset for the other venues; however, we’re going to use these next three shows to make sure moving forward is a good idea. As long as we all agree we’re ready to move forward, we’ll announce the new dates immediately following the New York show, and we’ll be back on the road mid-July.”
That meant we had a little over three weeks before the tour started again, and while I would have gone along with anything, the extra time to adjust to my new normal might be a good thing. Maybe I could even stay in Boston for a few extra days to visit with my parents, but I would have to talk to Cash about that first. “Got it.”
“I can’t wait to see you back on stage,” she added. “But more importantly, I’m just glad I still get to see you.”
Her words made me a little emotional. Things could have ended differently in LA, and I wanted to make sure I took full advantage of the second chance I’d been given. “Thanks, Rina. See you in a couple of days.”
“See you then. Bye,” she replied and ended the call.
I made my way to the kitchen, where Cash sat on a stool at the island. He looked up when I entered. “Did you get an update on the tour?”
I nodded. “Looks like we’ll have about three weeks between New York and getting back on the road for a month.”
“That means we’ll be parting ways while you’re on the road.”
I hadn’t thought about that. “Can we possibly extend your contract?”
He frowned. “Unfortunately, I’ve already been matched with a client who will be finishing up a sixty-day rehab stint a few days after our time together.”
“That’s a bummer, but the goal is to not need your services longer than six weeks anyway, right? ”
“Yep.” He got up, grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge, and handed me one. “So how are you feeling about performing again?”
“Traveling is hard, but I love the rush I get from being on stage.” I twisted open the bottle and took a sip. “But since we’re talking about my upcoming travel schedule, do you think Britt would be okay with me staying here a little longer after the New York show? Figured it might be nice to get a few extra days of peace and quiet before returning to LA.”
“I can’t imagine it’ll be a big deal. She’s not home much anyway, but I’ll talk to her when she gets home later.”
“How do you guys make it work with your schedules being so different?” I asked.
“We just do, I guess.” He shrugged. “It’s not like we really have a choice. We both have careers that mean a lot to us, so we do what we can to make time for each other.”
Something passed over his features as he said those words, and I couldn’t help but wonder if things were really working like he wanted me to believe. I only hoped there wouldn’t be tension between me and Britt since I was basically taking her boyfriend away.
“It’s a shame Britt couldn’t come with us.” Mom turned toward me and Cash from the front seat of the SUV as Dad drove us to the Bennetts’ house.
It was the day before our concert, and the band members and their families were getting together for a barbecue. We hadn’t all been together since the dinner after we won The Band Showdown almost four years ago, and I was excited to see everyone again.
“Guess that’s what happens when you’re an ER doctor,” I replied. “She’s been working nonstop.”
Since I’d arrived back in Boston three days earlier, I’d barely seen my sister. When she wasn’t at work, she was trying to catch up on some sleep, except for the one night she had gone out with her friends. From what I’d noticed, she and Cash rarely saw each other for more than an hour at a time.
I glanced at Cash sitting next to me. He and I had spent the last seventy-two hours together; the only time we weren’t in the same room was when we were sleeping or in the bathroom. He’d helped me get set up with my therapist in LA, who was willing to conduct our session through video calls until I returned home. We’d also started developing a new daily routine that included working out, creating new habits, like meditation and journaling, that would help me when I was struggling, and working on the things I’d learned in behavior therapy. He even had me doing yoga. What we didn’t do was talk about his relationship with Britt, so I had no clue how he felt not having her around.
We arrived at the house where Surrender had spent countless hours practicing in the garage. I was about to knock when the door swung open, and Jesse pulled me in for a hug. “Glad you could make it.”
“Me too.” I gave him a friendly back smack and then hugged Olivia, who stood beside him.
“You look good, Si.” She gave me a tight squeeze in return.
My parents greeted them before hurrying off to talk to Jesse’s parents, and I took the opportunity to introduce Jesse and Olivia to Cash.
Jesse shook his hand and said, “Everyone’s outside if you guys want to join them. Burgers are ready, but Jasper’s still grilling the brats.”
As we started making our way through the house, Malachi opened the sliding glass door and stepped inside. A smile spread across his face when he spotted me.
“Hey, man. What’s up?” he asked as he gave me a bro hug.
“Not much. Just trying to get to some of those burgers Jasper made. This one”—I hooked my thumb toward Cash—“has been making me drink some green shit the last couple of mornings.”
“I also fed you pizza,” Cash huffed.
Malachi barked out a laugh. “You must be Cash.”
Cash nodded and stuck out his hand. “Yep.”
“Nice to meet you.” They shook. “Hope you’re ready for life on the road. Living in close quarters on a tour bus isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”
“I’m sure it’s not that bad.”
“You say that now, but after a night of listening to Jesse snore, you might be singing a different tune,” I joked.
“I don’t fucking snore,” Jesse called out from the kitchen.
He didn’t, but I’d missed giving the guys shit. “Keep telling yourself that, Bennett.”
“Babe, I don’t snore, do I?” I heard him ask Olivia.
I laughed and turned to Cash. “Let’s go get some food.”
When we finished filling our plates, Elliott waved us over to the table where he and Savannah sat with his parents.
I made another round of introductions, and then we dove into our food.
Eventually, Malachi and Jasper joined us.
“Hey, guys.” I nodded at Malachi and Jasper as they sat down. “Cash, you already met Malachi, and this is Jasper, his boyfriend and our chef on the road.”
“Nice to meet you,” Jasper replied.
“Likewise. This guy raves about your food, and if this burger is anything to go by, I’m likely to gain twenty pounds on the road.” Cash chuckled.
“He makes some killer vegan dishes if you want something healthier,” Savannah said.
“I may have to try those as well.” Cash’s response was polite, but I could see the skepticism on his face. He may have stuck to a healthy lifestyle most of the time, but so far, I hadn’t seen him pass up any meat products.
We spent the rest of the evening chatting. The guys were eager to share a ton of stories with Cash. He seemed to fit in easily with the group and for the first time in a while, I wasn’t desperate for my next rush. Instead, I was enjoying the moment, surrounded by the people who meant the most to me.
The moment I sat down behind the drum set at our first concert in Boston, everything clicked into place. The roar of the crowd had been deafening, and I fed off their energy for the entire two hours.
To think I could have lost all of that because of my addiction was a depressing thought, one I didn’t dwell on for long. I couldn’t change the past, but I could do everything in my power to make sure my future looked different.
“Wow! I didn’t think anything could top the Toronto show, but that was unreal,” Cash said as I stepped off the stage and walked toward him.
Rina had made arrangements for him to stay with her off to the side while we played so he wouldn’t have to fight the crowds to get backstage after the show—at least when he was there by himself. Britt planned to be at the next show, so he’d be in the front row with her for that one, while we’d have security ready to get him backstage quickly.
“Thanks, man. It felt damn good to be out there again.” I knew I was sporting a goofy-ass grin on my face, but I didn’t care. The night had been fucking awesome.
“So, what now?” he asked as we entered the green room.
I grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge and tossed him one. “It’s usually complete mayhem.” I laughed. “We have a few minutes to get ready for our post-show activities. Almost every show has a meet and greet, and sometimes, there’s an after-party. Tonight, we’re just signing autographs and taking pictures before we head out.” I pulled on a T-shirt and took a second to relax.
My relaxation was cut short when, not five minutes later, Rina gathered us up and led the guys and me over to where a massive line of people waited for us.
“What the hell is he doing here?” Malachi growled, and I turned to see who he was talking about.
I felt the color drain from my face when I saw Donnie Pierce in line.
Elliott looked at me. “You didn’t invite him, did you?”
I shook my head. “I haven’t talked to him in a while and definitely didn’t expect to see him tonight. ”
“Do you want us to ask him to leave?” Jesse asked.
“Nah. There’s no reason to cause a scene in front of the fans,” I replied. “If he causes any problems later, we can get security involved.”
Cash leaned in close to me and whispered, “You good?”
I nodded. “Yeah. Someone I used to buy drugs from is here. I didn’t know he was coming, but it should be fine.”
“Okay, if you need anything, just tell me.”
“I will.”
While in rehab, I’d wondered what it would be like to see someone from that part of my life again. I’d feared I would immediately slip into old habits, so I was slightly relieved when I wasn’t tempted to make a deal and do a line.
Maybe this recovery thing was going to work.