Chapter 21
21
Silas
My bandmates, along with Jasper, Olivia, Savannah, and Cash, stood with me in the parking lot of Rina’s office to board our tour bus. Since the guys all had somebody they wanted to have on the bus with them, and I had Cash, the record label paid for a larger bus than the one we’d used before to accommodate all of us.
“I thought you were going to stay in LA to plan the wedding?” I asked Olivia as the crew members took some of our luggage we didn’t need easy access to, so they could store it underneath the bus.
“That was the plan, but …” She looked up at me with a glimmer of sadness in her eyes and I didn’t understand why. “With the extra time between the concert in LA and now, I was able to get a lot of stuff done. The rest I can do during the tour.”
Ah, now it made sense. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and placed a friendly kiss on the top of her head. “Glad it all worked out. It would have been weird not to have you on the road with us.”
She smiled. “It looks like we are all where we need to be. ”
Her statement hit me hard because it reminded me of how close I’d come to losing it all.
Losing them.
We started to board the bus. As Cash followed me through the front lounge, I heard him say, “Damn, this is nice.”
I turned toward him, but his eyes were taking in the gray interior with long black leather couches that made up the front sitting space.
We walked through the dining and kitchen area and passed the bathroom before we got to the sleeping quarters. On each side of the aisle were two sets of bunk beds, so each person would get his or her own cubicle. Malachi and Jasper claimed the back-left bunk pair, while Jesse and Olivia took the pair directly across from them. Elliott and Savannah grabbed the last set on the right, leaving Cash and me to take the bunks in front of Malachi and Jasper.
“Do you prefer the top or bottom?” I waggled my eyebrows, teasing him.
He rolled his eyes, but I didn’t miss the hint of a smile that crossed his face. “I’m good with whatever. Which one do you want?”
“I usually prefer the top.”
He tossed his backpack onto the bottom bed. “It’s settled then. I’ll take the one down here.”
Once everything was loaded up, we started the drive to San Diego. Our concert was scheduled for tonight; then, we’d stay at a hotel and take off for Las Vegas the following day. On our original schedule, we’d had an entire day and night off in Sin City, but I noticed that this time, we’d roll into town just before sound check and leave the next morning. I couldn’t help but wonder if that had been by design since I’d done my fair share of partying there in the past.
“The snack baskets will be ready in just a few minutes,” Jasper announced as he and Malachi moved toward the kitchen area.
“Hell yeah. You better not have forgotten my Skittles,” Jesse called out as he and Olivia followed the other couple.
Not only did Jasper make incredible food, but he kept the bus stocked with all of our favorite snacks and drinks. He’d even texted me to ask what Cash wanted on hand while we were on the road.
As the miles passed, the vibe on the bus felt a lot different from before. Elliott and Savannah were cuddled up on his bed, watching something on his phone, and I could hear the other two couples laughing together. Something about it had me feeling like maybe I didn’t quite fit in anymore. Like they’d all grown up while I was in rehab and I was only starting to figure out my shit.
Not in the mood for that sort of self-reflection—I did a lot of that in therapy—I peeked over the edge of my bed to the cubicle below and asked Cash, “Want to play some video games in the back?”
He looked up from his phone and shrugged. “Sure.”
I led him to the back lounge with a big screen TV and a huge U-shaped couch that matched the one up front.
“You good with Madden?” I handed him a controller.
He chuckled. “Yeah, but it’s been at least five years since I’ve played, so I’ll probably suck.”
I snorted. “I don’t play very often either, but I’ll go easy on you.”
We set up our teams and began playing. It didn’t take long to realize he was about as good at video games as he was at snowboarding. “You weren’t lying about sucking, were you?” I joked as his receiver missed another catch.
“Whatever,” he grumbled. “I just need a little practice, and then I’ll be able to kick your ass.”
We played a couple more games, and much to his disappointment, he didn’t beat me once. Although the grin he was sporting told me he’d had fun regardless of the final score on the screen.
He put his controller down and leaned against the couch. “So, I know we’ve talked about how excited you are to start touring again, but how did you get started playing music in the first place?”
I shifted to face him. “It feels like music has always been a part of my life, but I guess my love for it started when my parents put me in piano lessons. Britt had begged them to send her for lessons, and I had to tag along. After a month or so, she lost interest, and I took her place. Turned out, music came naturally to me. I even taught myself to play the guitar. When I joined the jazz band in junior high, I planned on continuing with the guitar; however, one of the drummers dropped out, so I decided to give it a shot. After that, I was hooked and knew I’d found my instrument. A year later, the guys and I started Surrender.”
He didn’t react to the mention of my sister, and from what I could tell, he didn’t seem too broken up by what had happened between them—or he was good at hiding it. While I wanted to make sure he was okay, I wasn’t sure it was something he’d want to discuss with me. Thankfully, he asked another question before I could overthink things.
“Do you ever play the piano or guitar now?”
I shook my head. “Not professionally. However, I’ll mess around on my acoustic guitar if I’m writing some lyrics.”
He tilted his head. “You write songs?”
“Sometimes. Nothing for an album or anything like that. However, some of my journaling recently has morphed into lyrics, and I’ve thought about sharing them with the guys to see if anything might be worth recording.”
He lifted a brow. “Really? I’d love to hear you perform them sometime.”
I let out a chuckle. “I don’t know about that. It’s been a while since I sang for anyone. Malachi would do a way better job.”
“He might,” Cash agreed. “But music isn’t just about perfect vocals, right? It’s about the emotion and the story being told. Who could do it better than the person who experienced those things firsthand?”
“Maybe,” I replied noncommittally, although I sort of liked the idea of singing for Cash one day. “Now it’s your turn. What made you decide to become a sober companion?”
He closed his eyes for a second and took a deep breath. I wondered if maybe I’d crossed some invisible line.
“If you don’t want to answer?—”
He shook his head and looked at me. “No, it’s okay. I just haven’t shared my story with many people.” He took a beat. “Both of my parents were addicts. Both of them liked to shoot up. Looking back, I think my mother just numbed the pain because my dad had a temper. When I was sixteen, I came home from school to find my father had shot my mom and then overdosed on heroin. I ended up in foster care, and my last foster parents both worked in recovery. With their encouragement, I decided to follow a similar path.”
“Holy shit,” I whispered, not expecting to hear his childhood had been filled with so much pain. “I’m so sorry you went through all of that. I can only imagine how hard that was.”
He nodded. “Thanks, it definitely wasn’t easy, but when I stop another family from experiencing what I did, not only do I help them, but it sort of helps me a little too.”
I was already committed to my sobriety, but after learning about his past, I made a promise to myself not to let him down.
When we rolled up to our hotel in downtown San Diego, I grabbed my backpack and followed the others off the bus. The driver unloaded the rest of our stuff, and Rina handed us the keys to our rooms.
As soon as we entered ours, Cash dropped onto the bed closest to the window and asked, “Does it make me sound like an asshole if I’m glad we’re sleeping here tonight instead of on the bus?”
“Not at all. Those beds work in a pinch, but they’re small as shit, and I’m always worried I’m going to roll right off them. Besides, these are way more comfortable.” I pulled out the shirt and ripped jeans I was going to wear later and hung them up. “In fact, I’m thinking about taking a nap before we have to head to sound check.”
“That’s not a bad idea.”
He bent over and rummaged through his backpack. “Oh shit.”
“What’s wrong?” I asked as I spread out across my bed.
He opened his suitcase and flipped through the contents. “Looks like I forgot my phone charger.”
“You want to borrow mine?”
He glanced at my phone sitting on the nightstand between our beds. “We have different phones, so that won’t work.”
“Do you think you left it on the bus? We could go check.”
He shook his head. “I didn’t take anything out of my bags during the drive. I saw a store across the street. I’ll just run over there and grab one.”
I sat up. Since we were halfway through his time with me, he’d started giving me more time on my own, but I wasn’t sure if he’d leave me alone in a hotel room just yet. “Do I need to come with you?”
“That’s your call. If you’re comfortable staying here, I’m okay with that.”
Knowing I’d benefit from some rest before our show, I nodded. “Cool. I’ll stay then.”
Cash grabbed a room key off the dresser and walked to the door. “Do you need anything while I’m out?”
“Nah, I’m good.”
“Okay. I’ll be back soon.”
The door shut behind him and I reclined back on the bed. A nap would be great, but having the room to myself likely wouldn’t happen often and some stress relief sounded like a much better way to enjoy the moment.
Pushing down my sweatpants, I got ready to make the most of my alone time.