Chapter 30
FLETCHER
The moment Adam walked out that door, the weight of the world crushed down around me. I felt all sorts of things. Sadness. Jealousy. Shame. Guilt.
Adam wasn’t happy about going, that much was obvious, but… How much of that was my fault? If I’d never come around, if we had never gotten together, would Adam be more willing to listen to his father’s guidance and settle down like his family desired?
I laid down on the couch, curled around one of the throw pillows, while the TV played on for background noise because I didn’t really want to be alone right now.
I ached inside. Tears filled my eyes, burning hot, and one slipped free. I was a cat. I was a man. And I definitely wasn’t wealthy. I’d never be what Adam’s family wanted for him.
But you’re what Adam wants, my mind reminded me. Right…?
I zoned out, staring at a spot on the wall above the TV as the show splashed colors across the floorboards in a hazy glow.
When headlights pulled into the drive, way too early, I sat upright. “Adam?” I stood and went to the door right as it swung open.
Adam, still smelling of rich cologne and the leftover remnants of his steak dinner, threw his arms around me, right there in the entry way, and he just… Held on. He held on like his life depended on it.
I wrapped my arms around him, steadying him. “H-Hey… Easy.” I hugged my Alpha back, offering him the comfort he so obviously needed.
For a moment, all we did was rock slightly back and forth together in the doorway, the door still standing wide open. Headlights flashed from the street, though, and my heart skipped a beat.
“C’mon. Come inside.” I pulled Adam in and closed and locked the door behind us, then guided the obviously-frustrated wolf to the living room. I drew the blinds, then joined him on the couch.
“That bad?” I asked.
Adam groaned and scrubbed both hands over his face.
“God, she was awful,” he uttered. “Preppy and bitchy, and she only wanted to talk about herself and all the followers and simps she had and I— I can’t marry someone like that!
I don’t want to be tied down to someone I’ll never love for the rest of my fucking life! ”
Adam’s voice cracked and it made me physically ache. “This isn’t fair,” he whispered, curling up on the couch before burying his face in my middle, just like he had this morning in bed.
My heart pattering wild in my chest, I soothed him the best I could, petting through his hair. “Easy. It’s over now, just relax.”
Adam laughed, a bitter, hoarse sound. “Oh, it’s far from over. She was pissed. The minute word gets back to Father…” He shuddered. “I’ll never hear the end of it. Fuck!”
“Did you eat?” I asked him.
“Not hungry.”
“Would you like some tea?”
“No, I just… I just want you to hold me,” he whispered, defeat clear as day in his voice.
So I held him. We put on one of his favorite TV shows, a rerun, because neither of us could really focus, and I cuddled him on the couch.
Just as Adam was calming down, his phone started blowing up with texts and phone calls. I frowned and looked up at him. He looked absolutely miserable as he stared down at the cell ringing in his hand.
“God,” he eked out before holding the power button and turning the device completely off. “I can’t deal with him tonight, Fletcher. I can’t. Let’s go to bed, baby.”
I nodded silently. We turned the television and the lights off and headed upstairs. As much as I wanted to enjoy taking the sexy outfit off my Alpha tonight, I knew Adam was in no shape for that.
Instead, I quietly helped him undress before stripping out of my own clothes, then led him to bed.
We crawled beneath the covers and curled up together, and Adam’s big body wrapped around mine.
I could still smell that rich scent of his cologne, intermingling with his natural cedar-and-citrus scent.
“You smell nice,” I whispered.
“Yeah?” Adam whispered back.
“Yeah. I like it.”
The world fell silent around us. My head was filled with thoughts, questions and uncertainties I didn’t dare speak aloud, for fear they might come true.
Adam’s breaths were calm on the back of my neck, tickling the hairs at my nape. I knew he was still awake, thinking just as loudly as I was.
Finally, after a long period of nothingness, I spoke, my voice very soft, “Is it bad that I’m glad your date flopped?”
Adam chuckled, a low exhale, before he kissed my neck. “No, baby. It’s not bad,” he told me. “I feel like shit, putting you through this.”
“I understand, though. You know that, right?” Shifting my weight so I could turn around in his arms, I gazed up at him in the darkness. “Maybe I’m just selfish, but… Happiness never lasts for me. It never has, and I’m scared.”
“Scared?” It was his turn to frown. “Of what?”
My heart ached, beating so erratically that I thought it might twist in on itself. “Of…being forgotten,” I whispered. “Of being just another fling. Of this meaning nothing.” I hated the way my voice trembled with the very real possibility of tears, but emotion choked me.
“Oh, baby.” Adam cupped my face in both hands and kissed me—my forehead, over both of my closed eyes, my nose, and then my lips.
“You are not a fling, Fletcher. You mean everything to me,” he murmured.
“You’ve so quickly become the most stable thing in my life.
I only wish my father could understand that. ”
But he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. That was what Adam didn’t say.
“Yeah,” I whispered back. “Let’s just…try and go to sleep. Goodnight, Adam.”
Adam sighed softly. “Night, baby.”
But even after his breathing evened out into whispery snores, his dark lashes fanning his cheeks and his expression lax in slumber, sleep never found me and I felt like a lost sheep without its shepherd for the first time in a long time.