Chapter 12 Adrian
ADRIAN
Now it's just the sound of the crackling fire behind me.
I turn around slowly and stare at the back of her. She's sitting perfectly still.
I look down at my hands. Dried blood cracks in the creases of my knuckles. Dark streaks run up my wrists, disappearing under my sleeves.
Maxim's blood.
I walk over to the kitchen faucet and turn it on. I pump too much soap into my hands and scrub with hot water that starts to burn me. It's fine. I don't want her to see it.
She's going to think I'm a monster if I try to talk to her with blood-stained hands.
I grab a dish towel and wipe my hands. The white fabric turns light rust-red. I toss it into the sink and walk out to her. I sit on her left, keeping a few spots between us. I don't want to, but I'm trying to give her space.
The firelight flickers across her face, casting shadows that make her look even more hollow than she already is. Her skin is pale, and if it wasn't for the glitter of the fire reflecting off her eyes, she'd look… not well.
I sit on the end of the couch and clear my throat.
"Elena."
Nothing.
Her chest rises and falls in slow, shallow breaths, but she doesn't blink. I lean over slightly.
I lean forward, resting my forearms on my knees. "Do you want some water?"
She doesn't answer.
I wait maybe ten seconds, then I speak.
"Elena," I say again, in a lower tone. "Do you want to talk?"
Her gaze doesn't shift from the fire.
I clench my jaw and scratch the back of my head. I'm frustrated and lost. I want to give her time, space, whatever, but I also want her back more than anything in this world, and now that she's literally right here, a few feet away, I'm having a hard time trying to go slow.
"Are you cold?" I ask, desperate for something, anything, to get her to look at me.
Nothing.
I stand up and crack my neck. What the hell do I do?
I kneel down in front of her, blocking the fire.
Her eyes don't adjust and she just stares through me, like I'm not even here.
My hands curl into fists at my sides.
I want to ask her a hundred questions.
Who took her?
What did they do to her?
How did they fake the crash?
Was it Maxim the whole time?
Did she think I stopped looking for her?
But I can't ask any of it.
Because she won't even see me.
The helplessness boils up inside me and before I can stop myself, the words rip out of me.
"Talk to me, Elena." My voice is firm, though I don't want it to be. "Please. You have no idea how hard this has been."
The second the words leave my mouth, I know I fucked up.
Her head snaps toward me.
For the first time since I found her, her eyes really lock onto mine, and they're not empty anymore.
"How hard this has been for who? You?" she asks, her voice flat.
My stomach drops.
"No." I put my hand up. "No, I didn't mean it like that. Fuck, Elena, I'm sorry. I didn't."
"You're sorry." She smiles and looks around the room, almost as if she's trying to figure out what kind of joke this is.
"Tell me what you want." I lean forward on my knees, my hands hovering near hers, but I don't touch her. "What do you need? I'll do anything. Anything."
She looks back at me, and for a split second, I think maybe she's going to reach for me, but she doesn't.
She just gives me that cold, distant stare that I barely recognize from her.
"Anything?" she asks.
"Yes, of course."
"Show me to a room." She blinks, completely detached. "And leave me alone."
I've only been shot once, in the leg, and this shit hurt like hell.
Her words, they fucking hurt more.
I open my mouth to argue, to tell her that I just got her back and I can't lose her again.
But I stop, because I see the way she's looking at me, the way she's acting.
Right now, I am not her Adi and she is not my Leni.
Not like before.
Now, she's looking at me like I'm dangerous. Like I'm her captor, or the one responsible for all this.
I swallow hard and force myself to nod. "Okay."
I stand and gesture toward the hallway. "Come with me."
She stands slowly, her movements stiff and unsteady, and she follows me.
The cabin is large and I've only seen it in photos. I know there's seven bedrooms, and to be honest, I couldn't care less which I sleep in, so the first room we find will be hers, and I will be right next to it.
I stop in front of the first door and open it.
It's a closet. Alright, this is going well.
I open the next and it's a large room. Big bed with two nightstands and a bathroom with a shower.
She steps inside without a word, and I linger in the doorway, my hand gripping the handle. She keeps her back to me and doesn't turn around.
"If you need anything."
She turns slightly, and I can see half her face.
"Leave me alone," she says again.
I take a deep breath and shut the door.
A second later, the deadbolt clicks.
I stare at the handle.
My chest heaves, and my hands shake, and I don't know what the fuck to do.
I press my palms flat against the door, like somehow I can feel her through the wood.
But the only thing I can feel is silence.
I turn and slide down slowly, until I hit the floor and rest my head against the door.
The fire crackles down the hall and the wind howls outside through the trees.
And I sit here, guarding the door, waiting for her to let me in, but i'm starting to worry that I've maybe lost that chance forever.