37. Tack
Chapter 37
Tack
Haley
I drop Dante’s hand. “It’s not a boar. It’s smaller. Over there.” I move through the ferns off of the path. I’m careful how I place my feet. There are plenty of sharp rocks and coral in the undergrowth. Little shells are all around.
“I don’t hear anything.”
“Shh, Dante,” I whisper. I stand still again and listen.
“What was it?” he whispers back. Well, as low as Dante’s volume gets.
“I don’t know. It sounds like something small.”
He flourishes his hand at the undergrowth, and I take it as a sign to keep looking. I’m not using my crutch really anymore, but I have it with me. I push the ferns and knee-high plants out of the way, clearing a path. But whatever was there is gone. I turn around and shrug. Then it occurs to me. “Do you think it could have been a snake?”
“There are no snakes on the island,” Dante says with authority.
“How do you know? There was a boar, and Calvin said he saw some goats when he was looking around the island yesterday.”
“Because I fucking hate snakes.”
“You’re like Indiana Jones, then.”
“I suppose I am. Are you ready to go find the Temple of Doom?”
“Not Doom. Hope.” I nod.
“Somehow I don’t think the Temple of Hope would have been as much of a smash hit in the box office.”
I laugh. “Definitely.”
“There are some fronds over there we can reach.” Dante points to the edge of the stream.
“Perfect.”
I’m used to doing a lot of work. Dragging beach chairs up and down castle stairs for extravagant excursion lunches. Cases of wine from the lower decks to the sundeck. Laundry! Don’t get me started on how much laundry weighs. So much laundry. I’ve never had to go to the gym. Palm fronds, you would think they’re light, but they’re unwieldy. My arms are stacked as high as Dante would allow me. I could have taken more, but I’m glad I didn’t, because I’m dropping them as we leave the jungle for the beach. One or two here and there.
“Who knew palm fronds were the new breadcrumbs?” Zane laughs. He has the ones I’ve dropped in his hands.
“Shoot. Thanks for getting those.” I smile.
“No problem. I just have to ask, what were the two of you doing in the jungle?” He arches an eyebrow at me.
“Getting palm fronds for Sassy here.” Dante waves his load at me. “Where do you want them?”
“Next to the raft.” I drop mine beside the fire ring.
“Do you need more, Little Bird?”
“I’m good. This should be enough. Maybe? I’ve never made a palm frond mat before. How hard can it be?”
You know when you say something and you know you’ve made a mistake the second you say it? Yeah, that’s me and weaving palm fronds. An hour in and I’ve got something that almost resembles a mat, along with a half dozen cuts from the edges of the sharp fronds. Two hours in, it doesn’t look too bad. Easton and Zane both keep checking in with me in between going in and out of the jungle, bringing ever more wood. It’s nonstop, and with each trip, they’re gone longer and longer.
“How’s it going, Sassy?” Dante gets up from where he’s been resting in the shade. After we came back from the jungle, he poked at the fire, complaining about how Easton needs to pay more attention to things, and then fell asleep.
“Okay. I think I’m getting the hang of it.”
“Want me to help?”
“I’m good. You rest up. Do you want me to cook tonight?”
His eyes widen. “I’ll leave the weaving to you. You leave the cooking to me.”
I smile. I knew that was going to be his exact response. I get back at it: in out, in out. I place the next section beside the raft door. A measly ten or twelve more and I’ll have most of the area around the front of the raft covered. Sand in the raft is gross, but the next thing I should make is the fire cover. I get to work. Dante’s asleep again, and I haven’t seen Zane or Easton for maybe half an hour. I don’t know. I wish I had my mother’s old-fashioned windup watch. My breath hitches. It always hitches when I think about her and how I miss her.
But from there my mind wanders to Sam. As much as I don’t want to think of him as dead, that he’s not gone, when I think of him as alive, I can’t help but sink into guilt. He asked me to go touring after the charter season with him. We weren’t an item. There weren’t any labels on it. Still, my mind wonders how I would feel if he went off and had a ménage à trois—no, quatre, or is it cinq? I’d be hurt. Mad. No, I’d be disappointed. My stomach sinks when I think of Sam being disappointed in me.
“Hey, Little Bird.” Zane puts his hand on my shoulder, and I jump. I didn’t even see him coming out of the jungle.
Damn it. I’m crying.
“Hey, hey. It’s okay. We’re going to be okay.” Zane sinks onto the log, his legs facing the opposite direction to mine. He grabs my head and puts it on his chest. “You’re okay.” He smooths my hair. “We’re all going to be okay. We’ve got lots to eat. And a Michelin Star chef to make it taste fantastic.”
I open my eyes, and Dante has woken up. He’s kneeling at my feet.
“What’s going on?” Easton is here now too. His arms are loaded with wood, which he drops so he can join Dante on his knees in front of me. “Haley, are you crying? Why is she crying? We’re going to get out of here. Two boats. Come on.” Easton sits on my other side. He pulls my legs into his lap. “No more tears. But if you want to cry, that’s okay too.”
How do I even tell them I’m not crying about being shipwrecked but because I cheated on Sam when I didn’t even have a relationship with him? This is crazy.
“Oh, are you crying about something else? Are you crying about us? You don’t need to cry about us.” Zane lifts my chin.
But it makes me cry even harder. I inhale. And when I open my eyes, there are now four sets of eyes staring back at me. I don’t know where Calvin was, but he’s back.
“What in the hell did you do to make her cry?” He glares at them.
“They didn’t do anything.” I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand. I need to be tough. Tougher than this. I’ve never cried in front of guests. I’ve almost never cried while on charter. I say almost because there was a charter last year when I figured out that Steven was cheating on me. But my cabin mate was really good to me. She gave me space and picked up a lot of the slack I dropped. But that was only for a few hours. I’m not one to sit and wallow in self-pity.
“What is it, then? Does your ankle hurt?” Easton runs his hand down the side of my leg.
“It’s not her leg,” Calvin scoffs, and I get the impression I’ve disappointed him too. “You know you have nothing to be ashamed of.” He hasn’t dropped to his knees like the other guys. No, I have to crane my neck to look him in the face. The sun is behind him, outlining him like a superhero.
He’s hit the nail on the head. And the other guys, even Dante, turn from Calvin to me.
“No, Little Bird,” says Zane. “You’re good. Don’t go thinking about anything, but you’re good. Do you understand?” He lifts my chin to him and kisses me on the lips. He’s warm and smells like coconuts and saltwater. I wish I could swim in his words. But I have too much baggage.
Easton touches my elbow. “Haley, we all like you. But we’ll all do what you want.”
I nod. Because what I want is what happened last night. Still, I can’t help but worry.
“Oh.” Dante stands up. “Are you worried about what the captain might think? Is that it, Sassy?”
My eyes are wide, and I can’t look at any of them. I suck in my lips and dig my toes into the sand in front of me, grateful I haven’t made a mat for where I’m sitting yet.
“Dante told us. You think too much.” Calvin’s voice is gruff.
“She does,” Dante agrees. “You have nothing to worry about.”
The next second, I’m no longer sitting between Easton and Zane. Calvin has me over his shoulder. His long strides take us away from the fire. My face is at the top of his waist. “Calvin, what in the heck are you doing?” I yell into his skin.
“Making you think less.”
“What?” But he’s flipped me and has me in his arms.
“Hold on, Haley.” He jumps into the water. The waves surround us, and he quickly makes his way with his long legs into the waist-deep water. “Float.” He lets go of me but keeps his hand on the underside of my back. He steadies me there. “Now listen. Easton and Zane are coming.”
I turn my head to the side to not get a mouthful of water.
“You’re right, the captain would be furious. Because he knows quality when he sees it. We all do too.”
The air in my lungs freezes. Is he trying to tell me that I shouldn’t be with him and the guys?
“Let me finish! Okay?”
I nod.
“Your life isn’t his to live. You’re doing what you think is right. For right now. That’s what you need to do, Haley. Live in the right now. There are no guests to serve. Not even Swimmer Boy. This is about you. Focus on taking care of yourself, and we will too. Because you are more precious than fresh water or food. Got it? If Sam was here, he’d realize how important it is for you to take care of you. He’s not, so you need to do it instead. Take care of you. Let us take care of you.” Calvin leans over me. His eyes sparkle in the midday sun. “Here they come.”
I don’t have to lift my head. The splashes of the water announce Zane and Easton. Calvin leans over me, and I can’t help it—I loop my arms around his neck and kiss him. Locking my feet around his waist is natural. As he deepens our kiss, I can hear Zane and Easton cheering.
“That’s our girl.”
“Fuck, you’re so sexy, Little Bird.”
The waves crash around us, and I can’t stop them. I can’t stop where I am. I can’t stop how I feel. Calvin’s right. This is my life. And if I want this, there’s no reason why I shouldn’t have it.
He breaks our kiss, but I’m not ready for it to be over. Then I realize he’s giving me to Zane.
Zane’s brown eyes glisten like amber against the sun, reflecting off the waves. “Feeling better, Little Bird?”
“So much.” I reach for him and give him the kiss that scared me the other day. His lips are warm and subtle. But I don’t have much time before he hands me to Easton. They’re all good kissers, but so different. Each one in their own way. Each of them is built of firm muscle but differently. Easton’s back is like iron when I grab him around his neck. His lips are firm and commanding. Calvin wants to please me by taking control, while Easton is slow and easy. And Zane? Can lips convey joy? I think they can, and his do. It makes me wonder what Dante’s kiss will be like. Calvin’s right, though. I need more in-the-moment thoughts and feelings. I hang on to Easton.
He breaks the kiss. “Are you okay?”
I let my legs drop, although I know he can hold me up. Heck, the way he saved Dante was amazing. That’s when I look up and see Dante staring at us from the beach.
“I will be.”