19
LEIFUR CALLED INTO Bakarameistarinn on his way into Reykjavik to meet Astrid.
They were a small chain of bakeries that had only recently opened in Hafnarfjoreur, and he was glad of the excuse to buy some of their sugar buns.
With the pastries secure on the front seat of his truck, he headed to the Old Harbour to meet Astrid.
On the way to his mother’s house yesterday, he’d got the impression that she was gently persuading him to pursue Astrid.
Peta had mentioned more than once how incredible her commentary had been, and did he know whether she was planning on staying in Reykjavik for good?
He didn’t know, and he told Peta that, pointing out that they were work colleagues and not in the habit of having heart-to-hearts about what direction their lives might go in next.
What he didn’t share with his mother was that he very much wanted to know all of those things about Astrid.
Now that yesterday had gone well, it was as if everything had become clear over the course of the day, and he could finally see what was what.
Not that he hadn’t noticed Astrid before.
Of course, he had. The trip back from Andriesey Island had stayed with him.
The way she’d felt, her back gently pressed against his chest. Now, in the post-tour glow, having forgotten how stressed out he’d been for weeks, he wondered why he hadn’t taken one hand off the wheel and looped it around her waist to pull her closer to him.
He could have nuzzled into her neck and properly breathed in the scent that had been teasing his senses for that entire journey.
He parked the truck, interrupting his thoughts.
He smiled to himself because that was probably a good thing.
They were work colleagues first. He had to remember that.
Picking the bag of pastries up, he set off towards Brimfaxi , looking forward to seeing her as much as he was Astrid.
The bright sunshine glinted off the water, making it look inviting.
If it weren’t for the fact that there was still snow to be seen on the mountains, and it was cold enough to need a coat or at least a thick sweater, it could be a summer’s day.
Astrid was already on the boat, on deck. She stood up when she saw him and waved. Her hair was down, making her look more relaxed and off-duty than he’d seen her before.
‘I bought buns,’ he said, holding up the bag.
‘It really is a celebration,’ she said. She was smiling at him, but he could see there was something else she wanted to say.
‘Astrid…’ He reached out a hand and took her fingers in his, hoping that the gesture could help her understand what he wanted to say but couldn’t find the words to. He’d never been any good at talking about his feelings. Especially not to women.
She took a step closer, lifting their hands so that they were resting on his chest, between them. He could hardly catch his breath. Her eyes were searching his, and he knew in that instant exactly what she was trying to say because it was the same as him.
Now he knew, he bent his head and moved towards her, heading for a kiss but pausing just before he landed on her lips, in case he’d read it all wrong.
But there was nothing in Astrid’s eyes that told him to stop.
Her eyelids fluttered closed, and she brought her lips to meet his in the most glorious moment of his life.
They both laughed shyly when they pulled apart.
‘I wasn’t sure you felt the same,’ he said.
‘I thought I’d wait until we got yesterday out of the way. I wasn’t sure you were in the market for a kiss or anything before now.’
‘You thought about it before now?’ As if he hadn’t. He just wanted to hear every detail about how she’d arrived at the same place as him.
‘On the way back from the puffins. I kept thinking you were going to dip your head down and kiss my neck.’
‘I thought about it.’
‘You did?’ She grinned at him, and he could feel himself doing the same.
‘I thought it was too soon. We didn’t know each other very well, and I wanted it to be more than a hookup.’ It was only now he realised that’s why he hadn’t acted sooner.
‘It would never have been that. You’re not like that. I sense you’re an all-in kind of man.’
‘I don’t know.’ He felt bashful, and might have blushed.
‘Well, I’m very happy to have had to wait. It’s all the more special because of yesterday. It felt like we did that together.’
‘We did do it together.’ Leifur took the hand that was still clasped to his on his chest and moved it around to sit on his hip before letting go and taking her in his arms. Properly.
She fitted into his embrace as if they’d been made for each other.
As if they’d wrapped their arms around each other so many times before that they knew exactly where to hold.
It was perfect. Until, in classic Icelandic style, the weather turned, and it started to rain.
‘Come on,’ Leifur said, handing Astrid the bag of buns so that he could unlock the door. Once they were in the galley, they both took their coats off, and Leifur made coffee .
‘Do you think this is a mistake because we work together?’ Astrid asked.
‘No, it’s no one’s business. It won’t affect our work. Are you worried about it?’
‘It’s more than… I don’t know, a summer fling.’
‘It is for me too.’ He sat down next to her, handed her a bun from the bag and a coffee and decided that it was time to be honest with her.
‘Astrid, I haven’t had a girlfriend before.
Obviously, I’ve been with women, but no one I felt anything for other than a brief physical attraction.
’ As he said this out loud, he half expected Astrid to pick up her coat and leave, thinking she had just kissed someone who had something fundamentally wrong with them.
‘But why? You’re attractive and a lovely person.’
‘Thank you.’ He smiled at her and squeezed her hand before taking a bite of his own bun to give him a minute to think. ‘Fishing isn’t a great career if you want to have a social life too, so it’s hard to meet people who understand.’
He took a breath before continuing because this was the hard part.
The part he’d never said out loud to anyone before, mostly because it had taken him an awfully long time to realise it himself.
‘My father was lost at sea one night when we were out fishing. The weather was bad, and one moment he was next to me on deck and the next moment he was gone.’
‘Leifur, I’m so sorry.’ She moved closer to him and reached up and stroked his hair in a soothing way that felt more intimate than the kiss they’d shared.
‘My mother was devastated. We all were. And I knew then that I couldn’t fall in love with anyone and let that happen to them.’
‘You wouldn’t let yourself love anyone? But what if you’d already met the person for you and you let them go?’
‘You’re the person for me, Astrid. I have never felt like this about anyone.
There was the odd woman that I liked, and I told myself it couldn’t go anywhere, but I never liked them like I like you.
Maybe it’s because you love the sea too, I don’t know.
But I feel lucky to have met you now that I’m not fishing anymore because it would have been the hardest thing in the world to walk away from you. ’
‘I know I said this before, and it’s ridiculous, but I knew there was something between us when I saw you standing on the beach in Hafnarfjoreur. Then when I saw you again, it felt like fate or something.’
He patted his legs, inviting her to sit on his lap. She did, straddling his thighs and facing him, arms looped around his neck. ‘So you think this is it for you too?’
She nodded, but there was a hint of reservation in her eyes. ‘I only planned to be here until I got another job. I already know the summer with you isn’t going to be long enough, but I don’t know what will happen after that.’
‘You don’t want to work on Brimfaxi forever?’ He made it sound as if he were teasing her, but deep down he meant it.
‘I can’t abandon my career for you, Leifur,’ she whispered, nuzzling into his neck.
She was going to break his heart. She’d leave him, and he’d be heartbroken.
‘I won’t ask you to do that. Let’s give ourselves the summer with no expectations.’ It was not what he wanted to give, but he got the feeling it was all Astrid could give, so he was willing to go along with it. He’d worry about it at the end of the summer.
They began kissing again. He felt Astrid tugging at his waistband to untuck his top, and he gasped as her hands found his skin.
‘Your hands are cold,’ he said, pulling them out and cupping them in his own before breathing warmth onto them.
Her eyes were on his as she put them back exactly where they had been and he realised it hadn’t been the cold making him gasp.
Her touch was like a shot of electricity, giving him the sudden certainty that this was nothing ordinary.
‘God, you’re beautiful,’ he said, losing himself in another kiss as he began to explore her in the same way.
‘Leifur…’ She dropped her head back, inviting him to continue. Decisively, he picked her up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist.
‘Where are we going?’
‘The forward berth.’
Leifur opened the door at the back of the galley and ducked through it, still carrying Astrid, who felt as light as a feather to him. Abandoning the buns and coffee, they spent an hour or so cementing their new relationship and, as far as Leifur knew, christened the forward berth.
‘Would you like to come to dinner tonight at mine?’ Astrid asked afterwards, lying in bed and nibbling on a bun that Leifur had fetched in from the galley. ‘My parents are coming. That’s not a warning,’ she added, with a grin.
‘Are you sure?’
‘I’d really like you to come.’
‘In that case, I’d love to. Shall I bring something?’
‘Maybe a toothbrush?’ Given what had just happened, he was surprised she sounded shy, but it was endearing.
Dinner at Astrid’s was highly entertaining.
All that Leifur knew of her was on the boat, where she was highly organised, calm and clear-headed.
Domesticity was not her forte. She hadn’t realised that she didn’t have enough forks for all four of them, so she was eating with a spoon and a knife.
The bread she’d put in the oven to warm was burnt to a crisp by the time she remembered it, at which point they were halfway through the main course anyway.
Then what she thought was an easy frozen desert needed defrosting for two hours before it could be eaten.
Her parents were clearly more used to seeing this side of her than he was and didn’t seem surprised as one mishap led into the next over the course of the evening.
‘I’m not always as disorganised as this,’ she said, as they flopped onto the sofa after dinner.
Leifur noticed a smile pass between her parents.
‘It’s because I’m not used to entertaining.’
‘It was a lovely meal,’ Leifur said supportively.
‘Thank you.’
‘Do you live in the city too, Leifur?’ Astrid’s mother asked.
‘I’m in Hafnarfjoreur. I used to fish out of there.’
‘Gudrun mentioned that,’ said Astrid’s father. ‘Tough times in that industry.’
‘It’s true. It felt like the right time to start something new.’
‘So this is a new start for both of you,’ said Astrid’s mother.
‘Not for me, Mamma,’ said Astrid with a small frown, as if her mother ought to know better. ‘It’s just the summer.’
‘Of course.’ Her mother looked into her wineglass, but Leifur could see the hint of a smile. If it weren’t for the talk earlier in the day, he’d feel bruised by Astrid’s comment. As it was, he wished she didn’t feel like that, but he was content to accept her terms. He’d agreed to them after all.
‘And how has it been moving out of the city?’ Leifur asked Astrid’s parents.
‘I don’t miss it as much as I thought I would,’ said Astrid’s mother. ‘The pace is a little slower where we are, and there are plenty of other retired people. There’s never a dull moment.’
‘My mother has a better social life than I do,’ Leifur said.
Astrid smiled at him. ‘You’ll be able to improve on that now you’re working a normal day.’
‘That’s what I’m hoping.’ Without meaning to, in front of her parents, he couldn’t stop looking at her. She was gazing across the small coffee table at him, and silence descended, although neither of them noticed.
‘Well, it’s time we were going,’ Astrid’s mother said, standing up. Astrid’s father hurriedly finished half a glass of wine before standing up too, looking surprised.
‘You don’t have to go, Mamma.’
‘No, we don’t want to be too late. Your sister will think we’re having too much fun without her. Thank you for having us. I’m so happy you’ve got this place and can settle properly while you’re here.’
Leifur stood up, feeling a little awkward that he was seeing her parents out. It really spelled out that he was staying the night. But then he reminded himself that he was a thirty-six-year-old man and didn’t need to worry about what her parents thought.
‘Lovely to see you both again,’ he said, standing at Astrid’s side.
‘You too, Leifur. I hope we’ll see you again soon.’
Astrid’s father said nothing, but shook Leifur’s hand strongly, as if there was some meaning behind it. Leifur met his eyes and nodded. For some reason, it felt like the right thing to do.
‘They really like you,’ Astrid said, leaning against the back of the door after her parents had gone.
‘I liked them. But I like you more.’
‘Good.’ She wrapped her arms around his neck and he lifted her so that he could carry her through to the bedroom, marvelling at how much his life had changed in just one day.