Chapter 36 Utter Defeat
UTTER DEFEAT
A challenge you’ve overcome?
Cole: I climbed El Capitan once.
Bridget: Every fucking day as a woman in technology leadership is a challenge.
COLE
We were back in our office. (I wouldn’t accept that it was my office alone.) Ned was sitting in her chair, and I sat in front of him in one of John’s old, humiliating guest chairs.
We hadn’t taken the time to swap them out, and now that felt like a mistake.
One among many. But a too-low chair was the least of my concerns right now.
The buzzing in my head was relentless. I gripped the hair at my temples to make it stop. “What the fuck, Ned?”
“I don’t know why you aren’t happier,” he said. “You’re CEO. Alone. It’s what you wanted.”
I balled my hands into fists. “No, it’s not. I wanted to share it with Bridget.”
“That’s not what you said two months ago when we initially offered you the position.”
“Everything’s different now.”
He snorted. “Now that you’re fucking her.”
I was on my feet before I realized I was moving. “Take that back.”
“Look, Cole.” He spread his hands. “We’ve all done it. I get it. Back in my day… Well, we’ll just say, guys your age are bound to be horndogs. But you need to focus on your job. We need you.”
“You need both of us,” I insisted. “We bring unique strengths to the role—”
“You can cut the bullshit,” he said. “Bridget tried to feed us that line. This was the plan from the beginning. We needed to appease certain board members who were looking to consider more diverse candidates.”
Acid boiled in my chest. “So you mean it was rigged. Why didn’t you say something earlier? Why’d you let her—let us—hope we could change the outcome?”
He raised his palms. “The competition was good for you both. The deal you brokered with Morpho for the call center was a stroke of genius. A slam-dunk. It’s why we didn’t have to wait the full ninety days.”
“That was her idea!” I roared.
“Huh. She should have said something.” He wrinkled his forehead. “Regardless, the board’s decision is made. Congratulations, Cole.” He stood and circled the desk.
He stuck out his hand, and I shook it automatically.
“What the hell is that?” he asked.
“What?”
“That cheap bangle on your wrist. We have a dress code, you know.”
“It’s from my daughter.” I pushed down my sleeve.
“Get rid of it. Our CEO needs to exude dignity.” He smiled without showing his teeth. Dignified. “You’ll do great things.”
How could I do anything great when I hadn’t been able to save the job of the woman I loved? I slumped in the uncomfortable chair. For the first time in my life, I was utterly defeated.