Chapter Nineteen
The Stone Grotto
Same Time
T o be honest, Poe was so confused as to where he was. At first, he’d been in the grotto, but now he was in his parent’s stable back in the UK, tending to their horses. The logical part of him knew that this had to be a dream.
There was no way he left the United States.
He wasn’t there because his father and mother were now dead.
And it was likely his fault.
Maybe if he hadn’t taken his brother’s things back with him, the assholes would have found them and left his parents to live.
His heart hurt.
It hurt just like when his father showed up at his home to tell him that Hemmingway had died in a helicopter crash.
Only, it was somehow worse.
He.
Was.
Alone.
Poe had no one left in the world, and that was a hard pill to swallow. As someone who helped people work through their grief, he was oddly unable to do that for himself.
Now, he was dreaming, and he knew that whatever his mind was preparing for him wouldn’t be pleasant.
Call it a hunch.
Walking through the barn, he could smell his father’s tobacco, and he knew he was there.
“Father?” he called.
When the man walked around the corner, Poe braced himself for the onslaught of grief.
“My boy, you’ve come home. I can’t tell you how glad I am to see you. Have you come to take over for me?” he asked.
His heart began racing at the mere thought of having to do that.
“Take over, Father?”
The man chuckled.
“Yes, you know. Carry on our family name. You are, after all, the only Seville left. I need an heir to the dukedom, and that’s you. Shouldn’t you be creating one of your own in case something happens to you?”
Poe sighed.
“I’m gay, Father. I’m not creating anything,” he stated. “I have my work, and…”
His father cut him off.
“You have to come back, Poe. We’re not faring well. Your duty is to this family. Your duty is to carry on as a Duke and do what you need to do.”
Yeah, he didn’t like this at all.
“I don’t want to be a Duke, Father. I want to be Poe. He helps soldiers find their way back.”
He laughed.
“My son, you’re a Duke now. With your mother and I dead, you’re the last Seville. I had no brothers, and your mother has no siblings. Hemmingway died, and you’re all that’s left. You have to come home. You have to do what you have to do. We raised you better than that.”
Poe didn’t want to go home.
The demons that chased him lived there. He’d never fit in when he was there, and he’d never fit in now.
“You raised me to be strong and independent. So, I’ve met someone, and I love him.”
His mother stepped around the corner.
“Oh, not this nonsense again, Poe,” she stated. “You’re such a huge disappointment to us. You have one job now, and that’s to handle the estate, and deal with being a Duke, but instead you want these fanciful fantasies of love. A man will never love you like a woman will. It’s time you stopped this.”
“Mother!” he said, horrified by what she just said to him. Oh, he knew she thought it, but to hear her say it…
It hurt.
She moved closer.
“Come back, and do what you need to do. You’re a Duke now. The second we died, this all became your problem. As a Seville, you have a duty to your country and us. YOU OWE US .”
Poe stood there.
He’d never felt this alone, and ashamed of himself. He’d left England because he didn’t want to disappoint his father, and here he was, disappointing them both.
“We gave you an education—the best one, too. We gave you money to supply your fanciful dreams of being an American. Now, you pack your things, and come back, or else,” his mother stated.
Poe was curious.
“Or else what?”
Both of them changed. Their faces were marred, and there were bullet holes in his father. His mother bled from her mouth as she spoke, and moved toward him in a sickly motion.
They were dead.
Very dead.
“Or else we’ll haunt you for the rest of your life and your dreams. The good son died, and the disappointing one needs to do his duty. Hemmingway died being a hero. You’re definitely not Hemmingway, but you’ll have to do.”
When they grabbed him, he felt fingers digging into his flesh, and the madness in their cold, dead eyes.
And that’s when he screamed for help.
Gamble had been taking care of fishing for some food, and when he heard the scream, he raced back to Poe’s side, and touched him on the arm.
He bolted upright, breathing heavily.
“Hey,” Gamble said, touching his face. “You had a nightmare. Are you okay?” he asked.
Clearly, he wasn’t.
Poe was shaking, and there were tears in his eyes.
“No,” he whispered. “I’ll never be okay again.”
Gamble remembered feeling that way three months ago when he showed up at Poe’s home, and was so broken that he believed himself unfixable.
Poe had proved him wrong.
“What can I do for you?” he asked. “Just tell me, and I will.”
Poe looked up at him.
He knew he was going to have to leave this man. He knew he was going to have to go back to England and take over for his parents.
Oh, he didn’t want to, but he knew he would have to say goodbye to him.
And that hurt more than anything.
What he needed was one last moment to remember when he finally had to walk away from the first person he’d ever loved like this.
“Please just hold me,” he whispered. “I need you.”
That was all Gamble had to hear.
He opened his arms, and Poe went into them, clinging to his bare chest. His mouth sought out Gamble’s, and he kissed him.
Oh, and there was desperation and need in that mating of mouths.
Gamble opened himself for Poe, knowing that he needed him. He would be anything and everything for this man.
Because he loved Poe more than anything.
He wanted to be with him, and as soon as this mess was over, he would be.
Gamble had found the one person who gave him peace and safety, and now, he would give it back.
As the heat went up in the room, Gamble let Poe have his wicked way with his body. There was no freaking way he was saying no to that.
His hands wandered, and there was pleasure, lust, and need in those caresses.
Someone moaned, and they rolled around on the blanket that Poe had been sleeping on.
In the darkness of that grotto, Gamble let Poe take what he needed.
Love.
Because he knew it healed.
“Poe,” he whispered, as the man was moving down his body, leaving wet, openmouthed kisses on his flesh.
The need was growing, and both men felt it to their souls.
Poe was in control, and he needed this moment. This was his goodbye to Gamble. As soon as he could, he was leaving the US, and he knew that he wouldn’t ever see him again.
Duty above love.
It would break him in ways that nothing before it ever could, or would.
Still, he was now his father’s heir, and he had to do what he had to do.
Be alone.
Poe knew that he’d never marry a woman, father a child, or give his parents that. He knew that wasn’t the life he wanted, but he would take this one moment of love, and hold it deep in his heart.
It was insane to him that he’d begged Gamble not to leave him, and he’d been angry that he planned it when he was doing the same thing.
He only hoped that Gamble forgave him.
The man was healed, and now, he could move on with his life.
Without him.
When Gamble’s pants were flicked open, and Poe pulled him from his jeans, Gamble moaned in pleasure.
The way he was touching him made Gamble so goddamn happy.
He’d found his peace, and now, they just had to survive, and he was going to have a good life.
With Poe.
“I love you,” Gamble whispered.
Poe hesitated for a second, and then took him deep within his mouth.
He loved him too, but the words…
They would just make it harder. It would make it harder to leave him.
Already, he was sick thinking he was going to have to disappear, and never see this man again. A man he’d grown to love so much.
But he had to make that sacrifice.
He was the last Seville, and he had to play a role. There was no way he could ask Gamble to do that. It wouldn’t be easy.
They’d be talked about, discussed, and ripped to shreds. Poe knew the tabloids in England were merciless, and Gamble was a Hunter.
He needed anonymity.
Going back with him would be anything but. So their moment together…
It was ending.
As he blew Gamble, he relished in the feel and taste of the man as he slid him in and out of his mouth.
As his breathy moans filled the grotto, there were tears in Poe’s eyes.
He loved him so much.
And he always would.
When Gamble’s strong, capable hands were in Poe’s hair, slowing him down, Poe memorized this moment.
It was all he’d have left of this amazing, incredibly sweet, and sexy man.
“If you keep that up, Poe, Baby, I’m going to cum,” he muttered, his body shaking as he was on the cusp.
Only, Poe didn’t stop.
He didn’t give up.
He worked him harder, wanting this to be the best sex they ever had in their short moments together. He wanted Gamble to look back and remember him with love.
Not hate when he left him behind.
Because duty had to come before love in his world—a world he tried to escape.
As he took him deeply down his throat, Gamble shook, and Poe knew he was about to cum. With a tug to his balls, the man went over the edge, exploding down his throat.
“POE!”
He swallowed all of him, and then, moved his way up his body, leaving kisses across his flesh. When he was over him, Gamble opened his eyes.
“I love you,” he whispered. “I love you so much, Poe.”
His heart hurt so goddamn bad.
Only, he couldn’t say the words anymore. If he did, he’d never be able to leave. If this man was going to have to survive without him, he didn’t need to be bound with that one sentence.
But he did love him.
And always would.
“Thank you for that,” Gamble said, smiling up at him. “Now, I think I need to taste you,” he stated, pulling Poe’s shirt from his body.
When he freed him of it, he rolled, getting him flat on his back.
Gamble saw the sadness in his eyes, and he suspected it was because of his parents.
He couldn’t blame him.
He understood.
What he didn’t realize was this was going to be their final moments together. Erroneously, he believed they would have forever.
Not.
Even.
Close.
“My turn,” he said, kissing his way down Poe’s torso, and pulling his pants from his body as he did. He wanted him naked and beneath him.
When he got him free of his pants, he tortured him with his mouth, and stroked his erection with his hand.
Whenever he touched Poe, he felt so free.
Free to be himself.
Free to be happy.
Free to be in love.
As he teased the tip of his erection with his tongue, Poe moaned.
“I never thought I’d love this, but I do,” Gamble admitted, running his fingers over the man’s abs, and his strong rider’s thighs. “I love your body, Poe.”
He said nothing, as he let the pleasure overtake him. If he spoke, he was going to cry and warn the man what he was going to do.
So, instead, he said nothing.
But the whole time, he was dying inside.
Now, he was falling apart.
“Gamble,” he whispered. “My love,” he said, wanting to give him something.
Secretly, he knew that this man would forever hold his heart. Years from now, he’d still think about Gamble, and how perfect he was for him.
And how he couldn’t be brave enough to damn the man to a life in England.
With.
Him.
As Gamble blew him, he did it with a hunger that he simply couldn’t quench. Being with Poe made him feel light, happy, and alive.
He devoured him, and all he wanted was to be buried in this man, giving Poe all of him.
Gamble wanted to spend each waking second with him, and never to be away from him.
This was his mate.
His true love.
His soulmate.
There was no doubt in his mind that the man who pieced him back together, and made him whole again was his other half.
When this was over, he wanted to marry him.
A lot had changed in the three months, but Gamble knew one thing for sure.
He was madly in love.
Hopelessly in love.
As he worked him hard, Poe’s body bowed, and he held on for the wildest, wickedest blowjob. Considering it was only his second he’d ever given, Gamble knew how to bring pleasure and lust to his partner.
Poe was going to miss this.
When he was on the cusp, Gamble slowed it down, added the torment, and made sure he poured himself into this mating.
It mattered to him.
Because Poe mattered.
As the man teetered, Gamble pushed him from the edge, and he came.
HARD.
Poe shouted his name, as he exploded down Gamble’s throat.
The whole time, his breathing was heavy, as the man moved up his torso, leaving a trail of kisses. It was when he slid into Poe’s body, that he shook.
He found his way deep into his ass, and Gamble reveled at the sensation.
Immediately, at the feeling of being filled, Poe went hard again.
“God, I love being with you,” Gamble whispered, as he lay over the man, ball’s deep in his ass.
Poe touched his face.
“Know that I have never felt like this with anyone in my whole life,” he whispered. “There is only you, Gamble.”
Then, he slipped.
“I love you. Don’t forget that.”
Gamble grinned, and it was that boyish smile that made Poe’s heart stammer in his chest. It took a full month for him to see it, and now, he knew he’d mourn that too.
Gamble began moving, filling Poe so he wasn’t so sad. Only, the man was watching him, and tears were falling.
They dripped toward his hair as he laid on his back.
The whole time, Gamble kissed them away.
He knew loss, and he hoped that he was good enough to help heal this man.
“I have you, Baby,” he whispered, as he was mouth-to-mouth with him, as his lower body destroyed both of their control.
Poe held on, and he stared up into the man’s eyes, and he knew what he was losing.
Gamble truly loved him. This was the kind of love people scoured the earth for, and he’d actually found it.
For the first time in his whole life, he had someone amazing, and he had to let him go.
For his sake.
How could he ask him to come back to England with him, leave his family behind, and be under public scrutiny?
He couldn’t.
And he wouldn’t.
There was no way he’d damn him to that pain.
With his legs wrapped around Gamble’s hips, he enjoyed the feeling of his dick being buried in his ass, and how he rubbed against his erection with his abs.
“Baby,” Gamble whispered. “I’m going to cum. Please say you’re close,” he whispered. “Your ass is too much for me.”
Poe nodded.
He was on the cusp.
In fact, he was struggling to hold on.
With one jerk of his hips, burying his dick deep in his ass, Poe exploded, and so did Gamble.
They both came, and the pleasure overcame them in a powerful wave.
Together, they rode out that colorful waterfall of pleasure, until it slowly dissipated.
The whole time, Gamble stayed buried in his ass, protecting what was his.
This man was home.
When he lifted his head, he smiled.
“I’m not crushing you, am I?” he asked.
Poe shook his head. He loved feeling Gamble over him. The scent of his skin was cathartic.
It called to him.
“No, please just stay here a second,” he whispered. “I need to feel you touching me. I need to take it all in.”
Gamble held him, leaving warm kisses on Poe’s pulse. The whole time, he shared that connection with him.
Because he loved it too.
When he knew the man had to get off of him, he sighed.
“Thank you, Gamble,” he whispered. “I needed that,” he admitted.
He also needed him in so many other ways but that didn’t matter. Poe would make the sacrifice for duty and love. He’d set this man free so he could have a fighting chance.
Gamble pushed off of him, and they were a sticky mess.
“Want to take a swim? I’ll keep you safe,” he admitted. “I’ll always keep you safe, Poe.”
The man wanted to sob.
His whole world had come undone, and this was breaking him into pieces. He genuinely found true love, only to be forced to set him free.
Life wasn’t fair.
“Okay,” he whispered, as Gamble pulled him to his feet, and then, he scooped him up to carry him to the water hole. “I have you, Baby,” he said, right before he jumped in, taking them into the water.
They sank, and once more, Gamble found his mouth, kissing Poe.
The man never wanted to come up. Poe would rather just disappear into the dark depths than ever be away from this man.
In the process of coming into his life, somehow, Gamble made him whole.
As Gamble kicked them toward the surface, he was happy. When they broke the water, Poe was wrapped around him, still kissing him.
This was a good day for Gamble.
He had a chance at life again. Now, he was trying to make that memory for both of them when they grew old.
When Gamble got them to the rocks, he let the man fuel that mating of mouths.
He was struggling.
Gamble could tell.
When he broke the kiss, he stared into his eyes.
“I’m sorry you’re struggling,” Gamble said. “I want to help you through this. Just tell me what you need me to do, and I will,” he offered.
Poe was honest.
“I just needed this moment with you. I needed to just be with you and in your arms.”
Gamble held him as they were in the water.
“I’ll always be here for you, Poe,” he offered. “You can lean on me anytime. God knows you saved me. I’ll save you now.”
God.
How he wished.
All Poe wanted was to cry as he mourned his brother, his parents, his freedom, and now, Gamble.
He was bombarded with so much, and this devastated him. He wasn’t sure how he was going to get through all of this.
IF he would get through any of it.
In all honesty, Poe felt helpless, and he’d never felt that before.
He didn’t know how to deal with this. Oh, he knew how, he just couldn’t put the pieces together to make them fit. Textbook to implementation was harder than he remembered.
“I’ll be okay,” Poe said, not believing that for a single, solitary second.
Gamble kissed him on the lips.
“If you want to talk about it, Poe, I’m here. When I was broken and hurt, you let me take my time. I’ll always be here for you because I love you.”
Poe rested his head on his shoulder, and let the tears come.
Only, this time, he wasn’t mourning his parents.
He was mourning losing Gamble.
Forever.