16. Silas
The night is cool,but not unpleasant. I amble along the path, in the direction of my cabin. The past few days have been a nightmare. Sam’s execution-style scare tactics caused a massive uproar with the higher-ups, but she didn’t get the discipline I expected. I think they’re secretly glad she did what she did. The humans rising up against us is the last thing they want, and they sure as hell don’t want any more of them to die.
I think back on my conversation with Braun, about living versus existing, gazing around the compound. I wonder how Margot would have handled all of this, had she survived. She was a free spirit, wandering the world whenever she got bored. She’d be in one place for a few months and then decide somewhere else was more enticing.
I was the only constant in her life at the end. I was the only one she wanted around all the time. I never thought I’d feel the way I did about her ever again.
And yet I do. Do I fucking ever.
Juliet’s face as she laughed in the clinic, the raise of her eyebrows as she - yes, she was. She was flirting with me. I try to keep reminding myself that she doesn’t want me, that she’s with someone else, that she’s in love. But some tiny voice at the back of my head won’t let me believe that.
Holding her face in my hands, checking her over after the riot, I was so flooded with relief that I couldn’t think. Seeing her eyes fixed on me, not afraid but grateful I was there. Grateful I’d protected her. The brush of her fingertips against my jaw, telling me I made her feel safe.
Mine. Mine. Mine. The word keeps humming through my blood, hit after hit of need for something more.
Last night I nearly went to see Sam, hoping that fucking would get my mind off it all. It’s a plan Margot would certainly approve of. Sex was always her answer to a downward mood, to those days when the grief for my humanity became too much.
“On your knees, mon cher,” she’d say, and by the time I’d eaten her through several orgasms, I was so filled with desire I’d forgotten all my sadness. But I’m a fool. I know there’s no way fucking Sam will abate my need for Juliet.
Not one iota.
Movement catches my attention up ahead, and I see a human standing by one of the storage buildings. He’s pacing back and forth in a slow gait, arms crossed over his chest. He looks almost bored. He lifts his head to gaze at the sky, and jumps a little as he notices me. As I get closer, I realize it’s Juliet’s useless boyfriend. I look over towards the dorm, and see the lights on, streaming from the windows.
“Hey,” I call out, and he takes two stumbling steps backwards before giving his shoulders a shake. “What are you doing out here?”
He shrugs, the exaggerated nonchalance making me grind my teeth together.
“Nothing, man. Just hanging out.”
“You should be in the dorm,” I say, drawing closer.
“You should chill out, I’m not hurting anyone.” He gives me a smarmy smile that makes me want to put a fist through his face. “Just enjoying the nice weather.”
“Get yourself back to the dorm, right now.”
He sneers at me. “What are you gonna do, huh? You want another fight?”
“Get fucking over yourself,” I snap, and then I smell it. I smell her. Is it just her scent on him? I step closer to him. “Where’s Juliet?”
“What’s it to you?”
I seize him by the collar and slam him against the wall. “Where the fuck is she?”
He slaps at my hands. “Get your fucking hands off me!”
“Tell me where the fuck she is right now.”
I hear a grunt from behind the door of the storage shed, and his eyes flicker to it for a second. He lifts his hands, surrendering. “Hey man, he said he wasn’t going to hurt her, he just wanted to have a little fun. She was up for it.”
I drop him and spin to the door, damn near tearing it off its hinges. The sight on the other side of it sends rage so violent through me that bloodlust sends my vision red.
Braun’s bare ass is between the peaks of Juliet’s knees, and her blood is running on the floor as Braun feeds from her.
Her hands lie limp on the floor beside her.
Braun turns and smiles at me, continuing to thrust into her. “Hey man, you want a turn?” Blood trails down his chin as he laughs.
I’m not entirely sure what happens next, because the bloodlust takes over for a moment. One second I’m in the doorway, then suddenly I’m standing there with Braun’s head in my hand, dangling from my fist by his hair. The other half of him lies at the far end of the room, bleeding out onto the cold concrete floor.
His face is still frozen into that disgusting sneer. He didn’t even have time to be startled.
I scoop Juliet’s inert figure up in my arms. She’s ice cold, her skin almost blanched white. I lower my mouth to her neck - I know it’s risky, but I need to do something - and run my tongue over the puncture wounds Braun left behind. The electric thrill of her blood hazes over me for a split second, but I take a deep breath to steady myself.
The punctures close over, but it’s not enough to just stop her bleeding. She needs blood, now, or she’s going to die.
I storm across the yard towards the clinic, unsurprised to find her traitorous fucking boyfriend has disappeared. The clinic is all dark, of course, but I let myself in and move to the cubicles. I place her on a gurney and run down to the supply chamber.
I pull out three bags of her blood and head back, setting up the needles, guiding them carefully into her veins.
Her lips are grey. Fuck.
I get the blood flowing into her, and wrap her in a warm blanket. I feel for a pulse. It’s weak, but it’s there.
“Come on, Juliet,” I say, taking her hand. “Come on, don’t you die on me.”
I see blood on my sleeve, and look down at myself, realizing I’m covered in what’s left of Braun. No time to think about that now. Her hand is so fucking cold, so small and limp.
I rub her arms and legs, trying to get the blood moving. “Come on, you don’t die today.”
I’m going to have a lot of explaining to do, but I don’t really care. Red seeps at the edges of my vision as I think of Braun, violating her, fucking raping her on the floor. I’m going to shred the rest of him when I can.
And her boyfriend stood watch. Her boyfriend fucking stood by and let that happen. He didn’t call for help. He just stood there. Useless. Fucking. Fuck.
I decide right then and there he’s going to die. I don’t know when. I don’t know how.
But I’m going to tear that limp-dicked fuck’s throat out. I’m going to roast his heart and eat it. Fucking fucker.
Juliet’s lips blush with pink, and her chest shudders as she breathes. I take her hand, and it’s not ice cold anymore. Not warm yet, but not icy with the promise of death either.
The minutes tick by, and she slowly gets warmer. After an hour, I change the bag of blood and give her a second. More explaining, but I still don’t care. We’re meant to keep the humans alive - this is part of that.
After two agonizing hours, she opens her eyes.
“Wh-what happened?” Her voice is so small, and she squints at me in the harsh light of the fluorescent bulbs overhead.
I lean forward and stroke her forehead, without thinking. “You’re alright. I’ve got you.”
She tries to shift on the bed and winces, her eyes widening with realization and memory. Her eyes clench shut, and she puts a hand to her face. “Oh my god,” she says with a sob, “that feeder, he - he…”
“I know, I know.”
She tries to curl into a ball, away from me, but the needle and tubes are in the way. “Where is he?” She asks, not looking at me.
“He’s gone.”
Her breathing is still shallow. She closes her eyes. “Did you kill him?”
“Yes.” I lean back in the chair. She doesn’t want me too close. I can”t blame her. She has no reason to trust me. “He’s dead.”
“Where’s Matt?” Her breath catches in her throat, and she coughs.
“Here, let me get you some water.” I retrieve a bottle of water from a shelf in the hallway, and when I walk back in, Juliet is sobbing quietly. I sit down beside her, unsure of what to do. How do I comfort her after what just happened?
She turns to look at me, then down at her arm, her eyes following the tubing up to the bag of blood that’s slowly filtering back into her body. “Won’t you get in trouble?”
I shrug, opening the bottle of water and holding it out for her. “I don’t care.”
She tries to sit up, but her eyes flutter and she sighs.
“Can I…” I trail off as I shift closer to her. “I can help you sit up. Is that OK?”
She eyes me hesitantly, then gives a short nod. I put a hand under the base of her neck, and help her up slowly. Her eyes stay on me as I hold the water bottle to her lips, and she takes a small sip. She chokes a little, and coughs.
“Steady now,” I say softly, and offer her a little more. She takes one more small sip, then shakes her head.
“Where’s Matt?” She asks again.
“He was outside, standing guard,” I say, and I instantly regret it when I see the tears well up in her eyes again. I shouldn’t upset her any more than she already is.
“He - he didn’t call for help,” she says, and covers her eyes with her hand. “He just let it happen. He helped him.”
The red begins to seep at the edges of my vision again, and I resist the urge to reach out and take her hand as she weeps. Fucking bastard.
He’s dead.
I hear footsteps in the corridor, and suddenly Sam is standing there in her uniform. She looks down at Juliet on the bed, and back at me.
“What’s going on here?” She asks.
I rise to my feet. “Braun assaulted her.”
Sam’s eyebrows shoot up. “I guess that’s why he’s now in two pieces in the storage building?”
“That would be why, yes.”
“Right, OK.” Sam looks down at Juliet. “Is she OK?”
“She’ll be fine,” I reply. “I’ve given her 2 units of blood, she’ll be alright.”
Sam sighs and shakes her head as her eyes meet mine. “They’re not going to like this, Silas.”
“I don’t really give much of a fuck.”
She scoffs, and gives me a lopsided smile. “Don’t I know it.” She casts another look down at Juliet and shakes her head. “Lucky for her you came along, huh?”
“I suppose so.”
Sam chews her lip for a moment, before clasping her hands behind her back. “I’m going to need you to report to me in the morning, Silas.”
“Understood.” I look down at Juliet in the bed. She’s still trying to curl up, as small as she can, covering her face with her hands. Sam’s footsteps retreat, and we’re alone again.
She asked me to hold her once. That day, after the attack. She asked me to hold her in my arms. She’s told me that I make her feel safe. But she hadn’t just been raped by a fucking vampire. She’s probably terrified of me now.
And yet…
“Jules,” I murmur, sitting down beside her. “Jules, it’s OK. I’m here.”
She reaches behind her blindly, as though searching for something. I put my hand over hers, and she clutches onto it.
“Don’t leave me,” she whispers. “Please don’t leave me.”
Relief so sweet I can taste it floods me.
“I’m not going anywhere.” I reach out to stroke her fingers as her body shakes. She’s crying. “I’m right here. No one’s going to hurt you.”
“How could he do that?” She buries her face in the pillow, her cries becoming louder. “How could he do that?”
I have to touch her. If I don’t, I’ll go out into the night and find that bastard. I’ll tear him to pieces. She needs me right now. I have to stay with her.
I lean over her, stroking her hair gently, still holding her hand. “Jules, I’m here.”
She rolls over tentatively, wincing, and she gazes up at me. I reach out and brush the tears away from her cheeks, smiling at her.
“I’ll kill anyone who hurts you.”
“You promise?” She asks in a tiny voice.
“I swear to you.”
She tucks my hand under her chin, curling herself around my arm. “Stay with me?”
I brush the hair from her forehead as I smile down at her. “Always.”