8. Amelia
Chapter 8
Amelia
D espite sitting right next to Tobias in his car, I haven't spoken a single word to him since he walked out of my room after the vibrator incident.
My coral-colored nails stand out against the dark fabric of my black jeans as my fingers drum lightly on my thigh. I'm staring at my hands rather than looking in Tobias's direction because the memory of him pointing to that fucking box keeps flashing in my mind, triggering the same wave of mortification, and I have to swallow down the urge to throw myself out of the moving car.
I've never been so humiliated in my life—and yes, it even tops me throwing up and sobbing over my asshole ex in front of Tobias that one Christmas.
This is what it feels like to actually die of shame.
Eventually, we'll laugh about this, but the fact that I used the damn thing hours earlier? Yeah, no. Too fucking soon.
At least Wheatus is here to save us from ourselves. "Teenage Dirtbag" blares from the speakers, giving us the perfect backing track for the uncomfortable silence.
"You gonna hit me with the silent treatment all day?" Tobias's voice cuts through the air as he leans over to turn down the music.
"No."
"So we're going with one-word answers instead?"
The bastard's actually enjoying this—I don't even need to look at him to know there's a smirk stretching across his annoyingly perfect face.
I let out a long, dramatic sigh, sinking back into the soft leather seat. "I'm fine. Just let me die of embarrassment in peace," I grumble, but I crack faster than I'd like."So where are we going?"
"Café Luxe," he replies, his hand resting casually on the steering wheel. "Not my favorite place, but Tessa's obsessed with their smoothies—which I don't get, because they taste like you're swallowing a mouthful of sugar."
"You've always been like that with anything sweet."
"And you've got this ridiculous sweet tooth, which should not have you looking like that." He waves his free hand vaguely in my direction, still not bothering to look at me.
Now that gets my attention, and I'm tempted to milk the compliment for all it's worth. Because when the universe hands you an unexpected ego boost in the middle of a shame spiral, you squeeze every last drop out of it.
"What do you mean?" I turn to face him, watching the muscle in his jaw do that flexing thing.
I'm already having a day here, and the last thing I need right now is jaw porn.
"I've seen you inhale cake like it's the last time you'll ever eat it and then finish mine, and you still look like you do."
"You can't leave cake. That's just dumb." I shake my head, and a smile appears at the corner of his lips. "What kind of monster wastes perfectly good dessert?"
His smile widens, and he drags a hand along his jaw. Finally, his gaze flicks my way. "Speaking of dumb shit, our parents' anniversary is next month."
"Are you going?" I ask.
"Do I have a choice?"
"Of course you do." I catch his gaze again, but he doesn't hold it for long.
"Are you going?"
"Can you imagine my life if I didn't? My mom's a pain in the ass, and she'd never let me hear the end of it if I missed it." I say it lightly, but guilt creeps in as the words leave my mouth. Complaining about my mom too much in front of Tobias feels almost… wrong.
His mom left years ago, long before I ever met him. She packed her bags, walked out the door, and never looked back. Not a phone call, not a letter—nothing. Tobias has never spoken about her. Not once. Not a whisper of her name—not even when he's drunk enough to let other truths slip.
Everything I know about her comes from my mom's conversations with his dad. But even then, they're only fragments. According to David, she couldn't handle being a mom. The responsibility of taking care of the life she brought into the world became too much for her, and she just fucked right off. She exchanged bedtime stories for freedom, school lunches for independence, and her son's love for… well, what exactly? A chance to pretend she never created something so unbelievably perfect?
Fucking coward.
What gets to me most is that she didn't even try. She never gave her son a second thought, never cared enough to wonder about the boy she left behind or the kind of man he grew into. And I hate her for that.
Because he's beautiful—inside and out.
She'll never know how fiercely he protects the people he loves or how he carries the weight of his past with quiet strength. She'll never know the way his eyes light up when he's teasing someone he cares about or how his laugh can pull you out of the darkest places.
She doesn't deserve him. She never did.
"If you're going, I'll go with you, Mills, but only for the free alcohol."
The café appears in front of us five minutes later. Tobias parks the car and turns off the engine, and as I step outside, a cool breeze brushes against my skin.
We make the short walk to the entrance, and Tobias reaches for the door, holding it open, and when I step inside, I'm immediately hit by the warm, earthy smell of roasted coffee and baked pastries.
As I look toward the back of the café, the first thing that grabs me is Harry. He's impossible to miss, with his big, beaming smile lighting up the room like sunshine breaking through clouds. His curls have grown even longer since the last time I saw him; they're all wild and untamed and look perfect on him.
But it's the woman sitting across from him that makes me pause mid-step. When I say she's beautiful, I don't mean the airbrushed, filtered beauty we're force-fed daily. No, she's naturally stunning—the kind of beautiful that probably has no idea it's beautiful.
She greets Tobias with a warm and familiar smile before focusing her gaze on me.
"Hey, you must be Amelia," she says, and there's something about her energy that instantly makes me feel lighter, like I'm not the new person at the table. "I'm Tessa."
"Hey, it's nice to meet you."
"You good, Amelia?" Harry asks from across the table, his cheerful tone making me feel like I've known him longer than I actually have.
Tobias pulls out a chair so I can sit beside Harry before he takes the seat next to Tessa. As he lowers himself, he nudges her with his shoulder, and I can't help but notice the closeness between them—the way they move like they've been in each other's space forever.
"I think so," I say as I get comfortable. "This one practically dragged me out of bed this morning."
"Hey." Tobias turns to me, leaning back in his chair with a cocky smirk tugging at his lips. "You were the one complaining that I hadn't introduced you to my friends yet."
Before I can respond, Tessa leans forward, her grin widening. "I've been dying to meet you. Seriously, how the hell do you put up with him? I can barely stand him for an hour, let alone live with him."
Tobias arches a brow and crosses his arms over his chest like he's some wounded prince.
"Whatever, Blondie," he fires back. "You wouldn't last a week without me."
God, I hate being this girl.
The jealous girl.
I want to eye-roll that girl.
The way they tease, the ease between them, the unspoken understanding—it's too much like what Tobias and I have. It's a mirror of us. And yet, it's not us.
"So, where's the professor?"
"He's at the gym."
Tobias quirks an eyebrow at Tessa. "You not working him hard enough?"
"Shut up." The stunning blonde playfully whacks Tobias on the arm before turning her attention back to me. "See what I mean? How do you even put up with him?"
"She's used to it. Been putting up with me for nearly ten years, haven't you, Firefly?"
I roll my eyes, but I can't help the small smile from creeping on my face. "Honestly, I can't believe I've lasted this long."
"What is this? I didn't come here to be abused," Tobias shoots back.
"And here I was thinking you'd be into that," Tessa quips, causing Tobias to shake his head at her.
"For someone as unsociable as you, you sure have a lot to say this morning."
"I haven't had my coffee yet." She shrugs.
"Ahh, so we're in full-on bitch mode."
"You really should be used to it by now," she retorts with a playful glint in her eyes.
They keep firing back and forth at each other, and I know I need to question him as soon as we're back in the car because if these two haven't slept together, I'll burn my ballet shoes and never dance again.
"I take it Jennifer got called into work?" Tobias asks.
"Yeah, man, she really wanted to meet Amelia, so she was pissed when her boss called her in."
"Maybe we could arrange something? I'd love to meet her," I suggest, leaning forward and resting my arms on the table.
"I can't believe I'm saying this, but why don't we go for drinks next weekend? I'll bring Zane, Harry can bring Jen, and then you'll have met everyone—except Erik. But we only get to FaceTime him these days since he decided to move a million miles away."
"Yeah, I'd like that."
Eventually, I order one of these famous smoothies. Despite being a sugar bomb, the strawberry and vanilla mix is surprisingly refreshing. However, I can understand why Tobias hates it—it's like drinking melted candy with a hint of fruit.
I get comfortable, and the chatter around me blends into the background as my mind wanders. One of those super-fun intrusive thoughts hits me, and I find myself glaring at Tobias, questioning my place in his life.
His world. His friends.
It's not that I don't feel like I belong, but I don't want him to feel like he needs to keep me a separate part of his life. But then I remind myself that I'm here in this city for me, for my dreams, and that thought eases some of the pressure.
Suddenly, I feel the brush of something against my leg, snapping me out of my mental spiral. I lift my eyes and find Tobias focused on me. His eyes narrow in a way that says, Are you okay? Meanwhile, Tessa and Harry continue talking—something about Jen wanting to get a dog—but I barely hear it as Tobias keeps his gaze glued to me. I give him a smile that says, Yeah, I'm good , and even though I can see he doesn't fully buy it, he lets it go.
We spend about another hour or so at the café, the time slipping by in a blur of conversations, laughter, and sugar highs.
Eventually, we make our way back to Tobias's car, and by the time I settle into the passenger seat, the awkwardness from this morning's little incident has disappeared.
The engine hums beneath us as Tobias drives, his palm resting flat against the wheel once more, fingers splayed like he owns the car and the road beneath it.
Since when did a man's hand placement become foreplay?
Because here I am.
Thirsting.
Over a hand.
On a wheel.
I swear it does nothing to help my treacherous vagina understand that being sexually attracted to Tobias is not only inappropriate but also wrong.
"Tessa seems nice." I look at Tobias, watching the muscles in his jaw tighten as I continue to speak. "She's beautiful too."
"She is." He's being evasive. He's doing that thing where he answers without really answering.
"Have you two ever… you know?" I ask, leaving the implication hanging in the air between us.
"Nope."
"Bullshit." The word tumbles out of me with a laugh, but I know there's more to this than he's saying—or not saying.
"We haven't," Tobias admits, "although I tried for a while."
"I remember you telling me she rejected you."
His gaze flicks to mine, just long enough to catch the smug smile stretching across my face before he rolls his eyes.
"Okay, don't look so pleased about it. She was seeing Zane at the time, and if I'd known, I would've backed off."
"Did you like her? More than just your usual hookups?" I'm not even sure if I really want to know the answer because Tobias has never done relationships. Not serious ones, anyway.
"I think I could've if we'd explored it. But we didn't, and now it's just purely platonic. She's one of my favorite people, and our relationship is different. It's comfortable, you know? There's no pressure, no expectations. I'm completely at ease with her, and she is with me." I nod, pretending his words haven't just struck me in a place I never even realized was vulnerable.
My stomach twists, and I try to ignore it, but a tight, possessive feeling coils in my chest. I hate it. I shouldn't feel this way—not about Tobias, and definitely not about Tessa, who's as kind as they come. I should be happy he has someone like her in his life. And I am. But also… I'm not. And that's an ugly thing to admit.
I gaze out the window, staring at the trees as they blur by in a smear of green and gold, trying to focus on the world outside this car. The energy between us shifts, and I know it's coming from me. I also know Tobias can feel it because he's annoyingly perceptive.
"What is it?" he asks, glancing at me as if waiting for me to say something.
"What?"
"What did I say?"
There's a hint of worry in his voice, and I hate that I've made him feel like he's done something wrong because he hasn't. Not even a little. This is all me—me and my stupid, unexpected jealousy.
"Nothing."
"Mills…"
I sigh, my fingers sliding down to the hem of my shirt, fumbling with the cotton to give my hands something to do.
"I just… I know you find opening up to people difficult, so it's nice that you have someone like her in your life."
The truth is, it bothers me in a way I can't fully explain, and I hate that side of me—a side that I didn't even know existed until I saw him and Tessa together. Jesus, how can I be jealous of their friendship? It's fucked-up, and I know it.
"Amelia?"
"Yeah?" I say, keeping my voice as light as possible to hide that I'm spiraling into a pool of insecurity.
"Tessa's not the only person in my life who I'm comfortable with." I smile at him to let him know I'm fine, but as his eyes dart between me and the road, I can tell he doesn't believe me. "It's different from what we have. You're the closest person to me. You always have been, and if I ever needed anyone, you'd be the first person I'd come to."
I raise an eyebrow, ready to do anything to lose this weight off my chest. "Should I feel flattered or worried that I'm your emotional safety net?"
He laughs, and with that, the tension between us begins to ease. "I'm serious, Firefly. I wouldn't have gotten through these last few years without you. You're who I'm calling at three a.m. if I need anything."
I bite down on my lip as I try to suppress the grin forming on my face. "You know I'm ignoring the hell out of that call, right?"
"I call bullshit," he says, throwing me the side-eye. "You know you'd answer. Just like I always would if it were you."