Chapter 9 Three Months #5
“Why should I care? But whatever, Michelle, I’ll go shopping if that’s what you really want. While we’re at it, we can do all the other fun things eighty-year-olds do. You know, mall-walking, coupon-cutting, all that fun stuff.”
He tried to conceal his grin as I asked, “I’m sorry, what did you just say?”
“Nothing.”
“I thought I heard something.”
“You must be hallucinating.”
“Don’t act like you didn’t do it,” I told him. “I heard you call me Michelle.”
“Oooh!” he shouted. “Now you’ve done it! You’ve said the forbidden word! We’ve got to punish you! And I think I know just the way to do it!”
He leaped up, grabbed me around the ribs, pulled me down, and started tickling me.
Run, run! my brain told me, but it was too late.
Jack grinned as I fought him off and struggled away on my hands and knees, then he grabbed my ankle and pulled me close to him.
Laughing hysterically, I tried to stand up, but all I accomplished was knocking the sheets and blankets halfway off the bed.
Jack turned me over and sat on my stomach, pinning me.
I cackled and pushed him away with my one good hand.
“Stop!” I screamed, but amid all that laughter, it wasn’t very convincing. “STOP!!!”
“Ask nicely and I’ll think about it.”
“JACK!”
“You didn’t say the magic word…” he responded in a singsongy voice. He reached slightly under my shirt, and his warm hands made me shiver all over. I wasn’t sure I could take any more, so I gave up and started begging: “OK, OK! Please! Please stop!”
He did as I asked, resting his hands on either side of my head with a smug expression on his face. I covered my heart with my hand, trying to calm down. I was almost hyperventilating.
“I hate you,” I told him.
“Did I hear that correctly? Because if so, we might have to start again…”
“NO! It was a joke, I swear it was a joke!”
“See?” he said. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”
“I swear to you,” I replied, “one day I’ll find out where you’re ticklish, and trust me, I’ll get my revenge.”
“Go for it. You have my permission to touch me wherever you like.”
Irritated, I grabbed a pillow and slapped him in the face with it. It was a poor excuse for revenge, but it was at least something.
“Oh, so that’s how it is? Now you’re really asking for it,” he told me.
“No! No more tickling! Anything but that!”
“Fine. We can try something else.”
I felt him reach around my waist, and before I knew it, he’d stood and slung me over his shoulder. “Are you serious?” I asked.
Instead of answering, he took his phone out of his pocket and glanced at it briefly. When I tried to peek, he hid it.
“So we’re keeping secrets from each other now?” I asked.
“Michelle, you know I’m a man of mystery.”
“DON’T CALL ME—”
“Besides, you shouldn’t be looking at my phone. Phones are off-limits. I hope you didn’t turn nosy in the year you were away.”
“For your information, I’ve always been nosy!” I informed him.
I could feel his shoulder bucking underneath me as he laughed. “Let’s watch a movie,” he said. “My pick. I’m going to die if I have to watch another garbage reality show.”
“They’re not garbage!”
“Like hell they’re not.”
“You’re garbage!” I said just as he tossed me down on the couch. He rubbed his hands together as though he’d just finished a hard job, and I flipped him a bird. “You could have hurt my hand, you know I’m still wounded,” I reminded him.
“Stop your bellyaching, Michelle.”
“I told you, don’t call me Michelle! I’ve been formally invited back into this house, and I deserve to be treated with respect. And if that doesn’t happen, there will be consequences.”
“Oh, I think I can take whatever you can dish out,” he said. “And I can give it back, too. But then, you’d probably love that.”
I tried not to let him see me blush. He pulled out his phone again. My curiosity was killing me, and I got on my knees and peeked at the screen. Jack tried to push me away, but I hopped up on his lap, straddling him. Before he could react, I snatched his phone and hid it behind my back.
“I won’t give it back till you apologize,” I said.
He looked down at his lap, where our hips met, and back up at me. “If you’re going to stay sitting there, I’m not in any rush.”
He tried to reach behind me and grab it, but I held it up over my head.
“Why should I apologize, anyway?” he asked.
“For calling me Michelle.”
“Whatever. Give me my phone back. It’s important!”
“I’m sure it can wait.”
He lifted me up, took his phone back, and stared at the screen, almost obsessive.
I tried to protest that he could at least pretend to pay attention to me, since I was right in front of him, but he shouted, “Silence!” and pressed his index finger into my lips.
When I tried to peek, he opened his hand and covered my entire face, and as I struggled, he shouted, “Jeez, can you just wait patiently for one second?”
“Wait for what?”
“Hold it… Hold it… It’s almost midnight…here goes… Happy birthday, Jen!”
What? He stuck his phone in my face. It was midnight on February sixteenth. “Don’t tell me you forgot,” Jack said.
“Of course I didn’t forget!”
“You sure look like you did.” he reached up and pinched my cheek way harder than he needed to, and I screeched. “I forgot, though, how old are you again? Was it twelve? No, it can’t be twelve. Ten, right?”
“I’m twenty, jerk,” I said, swatting him away.
“Wow. Twenty years old. It’s just incredible how quickly they grow up. Did you behave this year? Should you get a present or just a lecture on now to behave now that you’re all grown up?”
“You honestly can shut up now,” I told him.
“Wow, no thank-you’s for being the first one to wish you a happy birthday?”
“Wait…” I said. “Did you actually leave your premiere to wish me a happy birthday?”
He shrugged. “Maybe.”
“Jack!” I said, tears coming to my eyes. “You shouldn’t have. That’s the sweetest thing anybody’s ever done for me. But seriously, tonight is important. You’re an artist. You should be there savoring your triumph.”
He sighed and leaned back. “I have to be honest with you, Jen. I don’t care. It’s in the past now. And I’m trying to live for myself, not other people. What I wanted was to be the first to wish you a happy birthday, and I did it. Just let me enjoy that.”
I rolled my eyes and wrapped my arms around his neck. When he kissed me, I wasn’t able to duck him. It was awkward, and as his hands slid down to my waist, the only thing I could think of to say was, “Thanks.”
“Whatever,” he said. “I’ll tell you one thing, when my birthday comes, if I you even think about forgetting it, I’m going to hold it over your head for the rest of your life.”
My head resting on his shoulder, I told him, “I tried to wish you a happy birthday last year and you blew me off, jerk.”
He had been rubbing my back rhythmically, but now he stopped. Uh-oh. Feeling the tension in his arms, I pulled away a bit and saw an exasperated expression on his face. I had surprised him, and I was afraid it wasn’t a pleasant surprise. “What do you mean?” he said finally.
“Just what I said, I tried to call you. I mean, I did, and some girl picked up, and I told her to tell you so you’d call me back. But you never did, so I just figured…”
“Wait. What do you mean, a girl answered? What girl?”
“I don’t know. She had an accent…”
“Vivian…” he realized. “She never told me.”
Of course. How had I not realized earlier? I didn’t know what to say, and I was scared, because he was furious. Whatever had been happening between us up to that moment had died. Jack cursed and pushed me off his lap, then stood and started pacing and running his hand through his hair.
“Jack, it’s OK,” I reassured him. “Let’s talk about it…”
“No, Jen, it’s not OK. She knew…she knew… Dammit! I was a wreck that day and she knew it! And still, she didn’t say anything!”
I thought of suggesting she might have forgotten, just to talk him off the ledge, but if even I didn’t believe that, how could I expect him to? It had clearly been intentional, and I needed to know what she’d done it for, so I asked, even as it made me nervous: “Why would she do that?”
“Because she doesn’t think you’re good enough for me. And she was there for a long time. She saw how messed up I was. I missed you. She knew I missed you. That’s probably why she hid it from me. She didn’t want me to ever have to go through that again.”
I didn’t know what to say. I could understand her reasoning. But I also hated her for it.
“The thing is, though,” Jack went on, “whatever her motivations were, it’s my phone! It’s my life! If I want to talk to someone, it’s my right! She doesn’t get to just grab my phone and…”
“Jack!” I interrupted him. “Let it go. It’s in the past. It doesn’t matter anymore.”
“It matters to me.”
“Fine, but what is getting mad at her now going to do? It’s not like she’s here so you can tell her off. Save it for the next time you see each other, but for now, try to just appreciate your time with me.”
That made him reflect, and he sat back down next to me. I scooted over and leaned into him. He’d gone from high to low and now just seemed confused and exhausted.
“What happened that day, Jack? Was it really that bad?”
“I don’t know, Jen. It was so much all at once.
Chaos, and then I found myself alone with her, and that’s when it got really bad.
I didn’t want to talk, but she just kept pressing me, and she got me to let all this stuff out, about my past and whatever, and I couldn’t shake the sadness.
I got depressed. And that’s when I wound up relapsing. ”