Chapter 42
I’m packing my best tails and their matching tops when Alice comes home, slamming the front door and skipping down the hallway. “Emily’s gotta work tonight. You wanna order in?”
“Sounds good,” I shout, zipping the suitcase.
She opens her bedroom door to toss her shoes inside and then peeks her head into mine. “Chinese sound good?”
“Yeah. Our usual?”
She types on her phone. “Ordered. Umm…” She sits on my bed and pushes the pile of jeans back before it tips over and spills onto the floor. “You going through your closet?”
“Something like that.” I nod at the suitcase in front of my dresser. “Decided to take that time off after all.”
She brightens. “Did you make up with Sully?”
I shake my head. “God, no. I’m going to Florida for a month or two. I didn’t buy a return ticket yet.”
Alice purses her lips and crosses her legs. “It’s that bad?”
I let out a sharp breath that sounds like a cackle. “That event I had today was him. He wanted to talk so he scheduled a mermaid at a resort pool. How twisted is that?”
“When you cut someone out of your life, you don’t leave any opening. I’m not saying it was right, but I can see why he went to that extreme. What did he say?”
My walls fly up fast and hard, but it’s the only way to protect myself. Love isn’t for me. Time and again, I’ve learned that, and I’m finally accepting my fate.
“He wrote me a cheesy love song. Claimed Gigi stole his phone and created all this drama to drive me away. He also quit the band.” I study a strand of hair, looking for split ends to avoid her piercing gaze.
“Then what?” She grabs my arm and tugs me to sit next to her.
“I yelled at him for trapping me into a meeting, and Arthur took me back to the bathroom to change. When I was leaving, I saw him slumped forward in the lobby, and Charlotte marched in to chew him out. Naturally, I hung back to eavesdrop and drew attention to myself when I dropped my phone. Charlotte saw me. She came over and said a few words, then left.” What those words were, I don’t want to share.
Alice stands and hooks her arm with mine.
She drags me to the kitchen table and forces me to sit down.
“So, to recap. Sully booked a one-on-one with you to tell you that he quit the band and to sing you a song before adding he loves you after that shitstorm happened at his place. That a psycho pop star tried to control him and stole his phone. And your reaction was to brush off his feelings and then spy on him until you were spotted. Now you’re planning a last-minute trip across the country with no return date because you can’t face your emotions. ”
“When you say it, I sound like a bitch.” I cross my arms and cradle my chin in my hand. “Everything is too heavy here. I’m walking around in a fog, and the cliff’s edge is too close. Maybe a change of scenery will bring clarity and—”
“Bullshit.” Alice grabs the purple Tarot deck off the table and starts shuffling with a sharp snap of her wrists.
“I’m happy to help you leave LA for your career or for love, but not to run away and keep your head buried in the sand.
” She fans out the Tarot cards in front of me, the vibrant images like a secret language I’m finally ready to hear.
“It’s time to find answers that are not from a place of fear. ”
My heart jumps into my throat. I stare at the cards, suddenly willing to listen, to believe that they might offer the guidance I’ve been too scared to find on my own. “What if I’m not ready?” I whisper.
“When is anyone ready?” she says, her voice softer now. She motions for me to choose.
I pull three cards from the pile with a shaky hand, flipping each over one by one, laying them in a row. My blood whooshes in my ears, my anxiety pounding like a second heartbeat.
Alice leans forward, studying them, then taps each card as she explains. “The sun upright—positivity and success. Followed by the lovers reversed—self-love. And lastly, the devil reversed—exploring dark thoughts and releasing limiting beliefs.”
She says this like it’s obvious, but I blink at her, needing more. “Please, none of your vague answers,” I say, biting my lip. “Just tell me.”
Alice gathers the cards and reshuffles them slowly, giving me a second to breathe. “It means you should focus on the good things in life and stop spiraling into the darkness.” She places the deck aside and levels me with a look. “And the cards think Sully’s a good match.”
I narrow my eyes at her, but deep down, I believe her.
The doorbell rings, and Alice jumps up. “I’ll get it.”
Sure. Avoid my death gaze. The reading echoes what I already knew but was too afraid to admit to myself.
Alice dashes into the kitchen, opening containers and eating orange chicken with chopsticks.
She points at the container in front of her. “I got you the pot stickers you love.”
“Thanks. And thanks for the reading.” I grab what I can carry and sit at the table. We eat, switching containers every few minutes.
“You might bite my head off for saying this, but I think you’re in love with him.” Alice steals a spring roll and bites into it. “You already had a crush before you spoke to the guy, and now…it’s…” She pauses to finish the spring roll. “Magic.”
“Huh.” I stab the last pot sticker. That’s what Sully called it. Magic.
I swallow my bite and grab the mushroom chicken. “Maybe I did fall for him, but now it’s a mess. You know what? Serves me right thinking love could be something I could have.”
Alice slams her container down, and rice goes flying. “I’m sick of you sabotaging yourself. Stop shutting out the universe with any sign of trouble. Open up, dammit!”
My stomach twists as a cold sweat breaks on my forehead. “I need to finish packing.”
I lock myself in my room, sorting through the clothes I want to bring with me. I grab my folded underwear, and a note floats to the ground. “What’s this?” I drop the underwear onto my bed and pick up the note.
A red-hot blade pierces my chest. Despite trying to turn my heart into a black hole, it’s still beating in its bony cage, raw and bleeding.
I stumble into the living room and fall beside Alice on the couch. “I found this…” I hand her the lyrics.
She squeals in delight, waving the paper in the air. “You can’t deny fate now! This is like a car running you over.”
Definitely feels like it.
“What now?” I ask, picking at my thumbnail.
“You risk it all, girl! Life is a game of poker. You gotta be all in and risk losing everything with the cards in hand.”
I smack her thigh. “Stop sounding like a fortune cookie and tell me what to do.”
“Get dressed and put on your war paint. It’s time we fight back.” She waves her phone. “And I may have cyberstalked Sully and pinned his location.”
“Where is he?” I ask, surprised.
She pushes me to my room. “First things first. You get ready, and I’ll come up with the plan. It’s going to be insane.”
Fear burrows in my gut and blooms doubt. But I resist the urge to tuck my tail and run. That’s what I’ve done my entire life.
I can’t run off to Florida—not when the man who wrote that note is still here, just miles away.
What’s wrong with me? Am I really so broken that I can’t let myself be happy?
My ex twisted me up so badly I barely recognize myself.
But Sully…Sully showed me something different. He’s better. He’s real.
And I’ll be damned if I let Amy and Gigi win.
Alice is right. I can’t let Sully slip away. Not without trying. He only wanted to help me, and I pushed him away like everyone else.
This time it’s do or die. I can’t just survive anymore. I need to live my life and face the pain and heartbreaks that come with it. Scarlet Failure has a song about walking through hell for love, and I’m about to blast open the gates of Hades to see if what’s between Sully and me is the real deal.