6. Chapter 6
Chapter 6
Faith
E nough is enough.
I don’t care about protecting his feelings anymore. I don’t care about what he thinks of me. I’m tired of holding back tears. I’m tired of bottling everything up every single time I see him. It’s my turn to say my peace.
“Hey, asshole,” I call out as I walk down the driveway, but his back is to me, and he doesn’t so much as flinch. I break into a jog, catching up with him until I can shove him in the back, but he barely stumbles before turning around and glaring at me.
“What?” he asks, looking down at me with furious eyes.
“I’m done walking on eggshells around you,” I say, blowing up to him. “I’ve had enough of you blaming me for Chelsea.”
“She was my fiancé. I lost the love of my life, remember?”
“I lost her too! But you don’t think about that because you’re too busy using me as a fucking punching bag. You’re not the only one who gets to be mad that she’s gone. And I knew her longer than you did, so I think it’s safe to say I miss her more.”
“I knew her better in ways you never will,” he argues. “I think that gives me the right to be as angry as I want.”
“It doesn’t! It’s not a fucking competition, but if it were, I’d say I got the worse of this shitty situation.”
“That’s very unlikely,” he scoffs, looking down at me like I’m less than.
“God, I hate you! Not just because of the prick you’ve been to me all these years,” I yell.
“Then why? What did I do?”
“It’s not what you did. It’s what you didn’t see ,” I say, but the tears are already starting to choke me.
“What? The driver? His headlights weren’t even on, and I couldn’t –”
“Not that,” I say. “You didn’t see her the way she was before she died. I did.”
For the first time in years, he’s finally speechless.
“My last memory of her is with blood running all down her face, and she’s almost unrecognizable, not to mention the massive dent in her skull,” I cry. “Your last memory of her was a kiss. Your last memory was love. You get to remember her as bright and beautiful. I don’t. And I hate you for it.”
I don’t bother stopping the tears as they fall. The icy air dries them to my cheeks, only for fresh ones to burn down my face, while Derek is silent.
“My last memory of her was ugly and bloody and horrifying, and if I close my eyes long enough, I can still see it crystal fucking clear in my head. I wouldn’t wish that sight on my worst enemy. But to make it even worse, you had to go and put the blame on me. So yeah, I’d say I’m having a worse time than you are, you fucking bastard. But you don’t see me trying to find ways to blame you. No, I just keep my mouth shut and handle the never-ending nightmares of her last moments all alone while you get to remember her the way she always was.”
His once hardened expression softens, but just a little while he’s still taking it all in.
“What? Nothing to say?”
The growing silence only kindles the anger I’ve been suppressing for so long.
You know what? Fuck it.
I walk right up to him, and with all my might, I bring my knee as hard as I can into his groin, knocking the wind out of him as he doubles over in pain. His massive height cut by half gives me the perfect chance to land a right hook to his eye, marking him with what will be a nice shiner in the morning.
“That’s for the last four years, asshole,” I say before heading back inside the house, where I order an Uber back home.