28. Chapter 28
Chapter 28
Derek
I can hear scattered voices all around me, but I can't make out a single word to save my life. Someone's shouting about heart rate, and another urgently calls out numbers for blood pressure while the machines blare with sharp, frantic beeps that send my pulse racing in fear. I'm drowning in the noise, each high-pitched tone like a knife slicing through the air, warning of something going wrong.
"We're losing him," a voice breaks through the chaos, piercing my soul just as the darkness pulls me under, only to open up into a place I know all too well.
There's not a single flake of snow on the ground, no icy air to bite my skin. Instead, the green grass amongst the headstones is freshly cut, and its aroma makes my head spin. When the warm breeze brushes across my skin, I turn toward it to find Chelsea sitting under the tree by her headstone, her blonde hair flowing like a dream in the breeze.
She hears me as my footsteps close in. When she turns towards me, she looks more surprised than anything else.
"Derek? Why on earth are you here?" she asks as she gets to her feet and rushes towards me, taking my hands in hers.
"I don't know, I…" I start until I realize how real she feels against my skin. "Chelsea…"
"It's not your time yet," she answers before I can ask the one question I can't seem to get out of my mouth.
"If I am where I think we are, and I can hold you again," gripping her fingers tighter around mine. "Then I think it is."
"Not exactly," she shakes her head. "When you're here, you have a choice. You can still go back."
"Why would I do that when you're right here?" I ask, my voice trembling with desperation, trying to understand why she isn't as overjoyed as I am to be together again.
"Derek," she sighs, her perfect blue eyes dropping to our joined hands, her thumb gently brushing back and forth against my skin. "I would have given anything to go back, but I couldn't. You have so much left to do. You have Faith, remember? We can't both leave her behind. I didn't have the choice you do."
"But…"
Her words cut through me, the truth in them undeniable, even as my heart aches to stay with her forever.
"I know you love her," she looks up, and instead of looking hurt, there's a flicker of joy in her eyes. "It took you long enough."
"How do you know that?"
"I have my ways," she winks. "It's not your time yet. As much as I miss and love you, you need to return. You're not done loving her yet."
"Who? Faith?"
"Who else?"
As much as I love Faith, and I know I do, I can't help but feel a pang of guilt looking into Chelsea's eyes. God knows I tried everything I could to hate Faith after that night, but there was something unexplainable that took over me the second I wanted to keep her safe at all costs. I never thought I'd feel that way for anyone else after losing Chelsea, as guilty as it makes me feel.
"I know you want to stay with me," she murmurs, her hand lifting to cradle my cheek, the warmth of her touch seeping into my skin like a balm. "But she needs you just as much as you need her."
"But aren't you mad? Don't you hate me?" I ask, thinking that surely, she'd be pissed.
"Not at all," she shakes her head, her eyes warm, full of understanding. "I'd be more upset knowing you're miserable because you chose to be alone and push everyone away. You know, kind of like how you've been doing the last four years."
She gives me that familiar look, the one that tells me I've been wrong the whole time and that I should have been listening to her. But there's a gentle smile on her lips, one that melts away my defenses, and before I know it, I'm smiling back, feeling a spark of warmth in the coldness that's gripped me for so long.
"Go back and be the kind of man she needs, the one I know you can be," she says. "If you do that, I'll be happy."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
"I don't want you to think I don't still love you," I insist. She steps closer and slowly rises on her tiptoes, planting a passionate kiss on my lips that takes my breath away.
"No matter where we are, I know we'll always love each other, Derek. I'll always be with you. But you have to go back now," she says.
"Just five more minutes," I whisper my plea, but she simply shakes her head and kisses me one last time, breaking the spell I must be under.
"Derek? Are you with us?"
The dark world suddenly opens up again, but the overwhelming white light above me still makes me certain that I'm dead.
"Derek?" the stern voice says again.
"Faith? Where is she?" I ask, struggling against something around my neck when I try turning my head to see what's around me. It's only now that I realize the white light is just a terrible fluorescent light above me.
Okay, so I am alive…
"Try to stay still," a doctor says when he leans over me, resting his hand firmly on my chest. "She's just outside. Do you want me to bring her in?"
"Please, please," I beg. I choke out, my voice trembling with desperation. "Is she okay?"
Before anyone can answer, I feel a small hand slip into mine, warm and real, and then I see her—Faith's beautiful face hovering above me. There's a cut over her eye, blood smudging her delicate skin, and her hair is thrown up in a messy bun, but she's still the most stunning sight I've ever seen.
"Hey," I whisper, "Are you okay?" I reached up to brush a strand of hair away from the cut over her brow.
"I'm okay," she says with tears in her eyes when she gently brings her lips to mine, reminding me we're both still very much alive. "You scared me. I thought you were going to leave me, too."
"What happened?" I ask when the doctor comes around the other side of me.
"Do you want to sit up?" he asks.
"Yeah," I attempted to nod, with this damn neck brace still on. Thankfully, the man pushes a button that slowly sits up for me, and I can see Faith pulling up a chair beside me, her hand staying in mine the whole time.
"Please tell me I'm not paralyzed," I say as I raise my hand to scratch under the stiff brace.
"Well, can you wiggle your toes?" the doctor asks. I sigh of relief when both my feet stretch and wiggle with ease. "And seeing that you can raise your hands, it's safe to say you're in the clear."
"Then why the neck brace?"
"You have a hairline fracture in the base of your neck," he explains. "We had to go in and fuse it to give you the full range of motion again. You'll be in the brace for a few weeks, but you should fully recover with some rehab."
"Okay, I'll take it," I say before shifting my eyes back to Faith. "What about you?"
"I'm alright," she says as her hand grips tighter. "Just some cuts and bruises, but nothing crazy."
"Then what's that?" I ask, pointing to the brace on her wrist.
"I think I hit my arm on the dash when we crashed," she explains. "It's just a fracture, nothing major. You got the brunt of it."
"What do you mean?"
"You sustained a concussion," the doctor reads off from his clipboard. "Along with superficial lacerations, bruised ribs, and the previously mentioned neck injury."
"Is that all?" I ask, making myself chuckle at my own joke, but not before my newly bruised ribs loudly object with screaming pain.
"That's all," the doctor nods. If there aren't any more questions for me, I'll be at the nurse's station just down the hall," he says as he sees himself out.
"Ryan," I say, feeling the dull pain of my injuries replaced with a deep rage for the man who I want to see on a platter.
"The police have him in custody," she assures me. "I'm not sure what they have on him besides the car accident, but I'm hopeful something like attempted murder sticks."
"Let's hope so," I agree. "And it wasn't an accident."
"I made sure the police were aware of the details." Her eyes widened with the fresh replay of what had just happened. "Not to mention what he did in front of the cop who happened to be passing by with his wife and pulled over to help. Derek, I don't think I'd be here with you if they hadn't stopped." Her grip tightened on my hand as I watched the fear in her eyes from replying to those moments.
"I feel like I can breathe again now that you're finally awake." Her voice broke with a mix of exhaustion and overwhelming relief.
"This has to end now! If the cops don't stop him, I swear I will!" I felt my eye twitch from the built-up frustration of the situation, "Oh great, now this son of a bitch is making me twitch. Better add that to my list of issues."
Faith's grin made me calm down and focus on what was important. Her.
"How long was I out?"
"Too long for my liking," is all she says, which, for all I know, could be an hour or three days. Either way, I don't question it.
"Well, I'm awake now, so there's that," I grin. "What did you get tagged with besides this thing?" I ask, brushing my thumb against the rough surface of her wrist brace.
"Cut on my face, a couple on my hands, and bruised ribs," she explains. "My head hurts like hell, but no concussion, thankfully. They had a bit of trouble taking my blood but also did a CT scan to check for internal bleeding," she says as she rolls up her sleeves to show angry purple bruises that look worse than the ones sustained in the crash.
"That looks like it hurt."
"I'll live," she shrugs.
"It looks like we both will," I reply. I see a hint of peace in her eyes, which makes me wonder how long fear and panic stayed while I was out. I raise her hand to my lips and kiss it lightly, noticing how beautiful she is, even if she's a hot mess right now.
I know how much you love her, which is why I know you're meant to stay here a bit longer; Chelsea's words ring true in my head the longer I look into Faith's eyes. I can't help but hesitate, knowing what I want to say, fearful of how she might take it. Considering we almost died, now is as good a time as ever.
"There's something I need to tell you," I say gently.
"And what's that?" she asks.
"I need you to come closer," I insist.
She does just that, but she isn't close enough. I pull her by her hand and prompt her to stand up until her lips are a breath away from mine. When I look up into her stunning eyes, I know what I'm about to say is the most truthful and genuine thing I'll ever say to someone.
"Faith," I whisper to her. "I love you. God knows I tried not to, but falling in love with you was completely out of my control. I should have told you sooner, but I hope you'll forgive me for telling you now."
I hear her breath catch in her throat when the words reach her ears. Part of me is braced for her to reject me, to run away, but she doesn't. She pulls back slowly, but just enough so she can look me in the eyes and melt my heart with a flicker of a grin on her perfect lips.
"I love you too, Derek," she whispers back. "And you don't have to ask for forgiveness for anything."
"Are you sure? I mean, I must have been out for a while, and I can only imagine how much you were driving the nurses crazy," I say, but before I can go on, she silences me with a kiss that presses my neck back against the brace, but I don't care. I want this, I want all of her, and I want to know she's all mine. Mine to hold, mine to protect, mine to love for as long as possible. I breathe in the faint but sweet scent of her perfume, letting it ground me to this moment, knowing that from here on out, it's us against the world.
"I mean," she says when she pulls away. "You did have me worried, and there's only so much Botox can do for premature aging due to stress."
This means I'll have to spend the rest of my life making it up to you, huh?
"I'm not sure that's long enough," she grins. "But I'll take what I can get."
"Deal," I say with a teasing smirk, gently tapping my lips as I silently beg for another kiss. "If we weren't so beat up right now, I'd pull you down on this bed with me. Show you just how deeply I love you."
"I don't think your performance would be at an all-time high right now." She starts to giggle, trying to finish the sentence.
"But I will count on you to show me later, maybe a few times in a row, so I understand."