Chapter 33 – Rhiannon #2
“It sounds like you’re pretty hung up on this woman.”
“Yeah, and you know what’s the worst part? I can’t sleep, I can hardly eat, I’ve lost all my cases, and I can’t get hard. I think it’s causing me to have erectile dysfunction.”
I burst out into laughter. It’s completely over the top and inappropriate for the conversation, but I can’t help it.
“Sorry,” I mouth.
“I hardly think erectile dysfunction is something to laugh about.”
“Yes. You’re completely right. I was… laughing about something else.”
His face remains serious, though the slightest hint of a sparkle is behind his eyes now.
“So, what should I do about my feelings for this woman? I mean, ED is a serious problem and it’s negatively affecting my sex life.”
“Your sex life?” I raise a brow.
“The one that I want to have regularly with her.”
“And does this woman know that you have these feelings for her?”
He nods. “She does now.”
I lean forward and he meets me halfway until my lips are brushing against his in a soft and tender kiss.
“And what do you want, Rhiannon?” He asks me gently when we pull away.
“I want you too, Cain. I feel the same way. I want to give into these feelings between us and date.”
His hands still on my knees, then begin a slow ascent up my thighs, skimming over the leather of my skirt and tracing the curve of my waist. He shifts closer, his touch sliding up past my ribs and to my neck, where one hand moves to cradle the back of my head.
Then he pulls me forward until our lips collide more desperately this time. His kiss is firm and unrelenting. There’s no hesitation, just raw intensity as he pours every bottled-up emotion into the connection.
His hands grip my hips, pulling me onto his lap. My legs wrap around his waist as he stands, holding me effortlessly, and carries me back to his bedroom.
With a careful kneel, he lowers me to the bed, his lips never leaving mine. Only when he starts undressing me does our kiss break. He tugs off my nylons, tears away my shirt, and unzips my skirt, leaving me bare and vulnerable beneath him, spread out like he’s unraveling every part of me.
“I have a condom this time,” he says with a smile before reaching into the pocket of his sweatpants and pulling one out. He tugs them down before climbing back onto the bed, then tears the foil open and rolls it down his thick length.
He pauses, hovering over me. “Fuck, I’ve missed you so much.”
“I’ve missed you too. I’m sorry for keeping you waiting. I… I was scared.”
He smiles, brushes the hair from my face tenderly before kissing my forehead, my cheek, my neck, across my breasts, the corner of my lips before finally kissing me where I want him most.
“I’d wait forever for you.”
And then he’s there—pressing inside me, filling me completely, his thick cock stretching me in a way that feels like coming home. It’s slow, careful, and so damn good like he’s making love to me for the very first time.
My name spills from his lips, mingling with his promises whispered against my skin. Promises of care, of devotion, of all the ways he’ll keep me safe.
“I’ll always look out for you.”
“I’ll always protect you.”
“You’ll never have to wonder where I am or who I’m with.”
“You’ll be my priority from now on. Not work.”
“We’re going to make this work.”
He lifts one ankle, placing it on his shoulder to deepen the angle before his strokes grow more erratic and desperate.
“I’m so close, Cain.”
He rocks his hips back and forth and rubs my clit harder until my orgasm is barreling over me. And this time, it’s different. I feel like I’m releasing it all. Everything. The tension, fear, doubt and worry about what it means to be seen by someone.
I feel him let go too, our bodies trembling together, connected in a way that’s more than physical. It’s the kind of intimacy I’ve only ever experienced with him, even when he was a stranger. And as I catch my breath, I know there’s nowhere else I’d rather be than here with him.
When I finally come down, Cain kisses me again. It’s slow and unhurried, his tongue sliding against mine in a soft, lingering rhythm. We stay like that for a while, still tangled up, until he finally sighs, “I need to take care of this,” and pulls out.
He carries me to the bathroom and sets me gently on the toilet to use it while he tosses the condom. When we’re both done, he scoops me back up and lays me down, this time tucked under the blankets.
“I have a surprise for you,” he whispers.
“What?”
He smiles and reaches over to his bedside table before stretching out his open palm to reveal two heart shaped, chocolate peanut butter cups.
I gasp. “No.”
He nods, his lips fighting back a smile. “It’s time for you to try peanut butter. Your cousin’s not here and I brought protection.”
I snort. “I hardly think a condom will help if I have an allergic reaction.”
He shakes his head. “I have allergy pens.”
“How did you get those?”
“A celebrity client of mine hooked me up with a few. She lives in the building too. In case we need her.”
“You’re insane.”
“I just can’t go another day knowing that you’re missing out on the smooth, buttery goodness of chocolate and peanut butter combined.”
I laugh. “Fine. I’ll do it.” I reach for one of the wrappers and undo it before inspecting the candy.
“What if it’s gross?”
He shakes his head. “It won’t be. Trust me.”
I pop it in my mouth, bite down and gasp.
“It’s like an eruption of chocolatey smooth goodness.”
He smirks. “I know.”
“And my throat isn’t closing up.”
He chuckles. ‘“I know.”
“How could you have known I wouldn’t be allergic?”
“I asked your siblings if they’ve ever seen you eat peanut butter. Gabriel said when you were younger your mom used to make a Christmas peanut butter pie that you all would eat every year.”
“Oh my god… I forgot about that pie.”
He smiles. “See, I’d never put you at risk.”
“But did you really get the allergy pens?”
He nods. “I did. Just in case. But I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t know you were going to be fine. I wanted you to be comfortable.”
I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him. “Wow… you did all that just because you didn’t want me to miss out on peanut butter?”
He chuckles. “And I’d do a lot more. Just wait and see. Now let me hold you.”
He gently spins me until my back is to his front and then wraps his arms tightly around me.
And for the first time in a long time, I feel completely content.
I’m not worried about what comes next or when I need to slip out and disappear.
I’m lost in this moment with him where only the present exists.
“What’s this scar from?” he asks, tracing the outline of the small bit of raised skin on my left hip.
The lie I usually tell when someone notices it at the pool, in a bikini or during a video shoot sits on the tip of my tongue before I swallow it down. Because if I’m serious about knowing Cain, I can’t keep hiding behind that same wall.
It’s time to start being vulnerable. To let someone see the pain that I’ve been carrying instead of pretending it doesn’t exist. To let someone else help me hold the weight for once.
“I was in a car accident when I was twenty years old.”
His hands still on my hip. I wonder if he already knows the significance of this story.
“Was it serious?”
I nod.
He pauses, waiting for me to continue.
“I’d gone out with my boyfriend at the time to celebrate my twentieth birthday, and we’d had a few drinks.
A few hours into celebrating, he abruptly broke up with me.
It was completely unexpected for me but apparently, he’d been thinking about doing it for a while.
I guess he’d started developing feelings for one of his friends who was in grad school with him.
” I draw in an unsteady breath remembering how sad I’d been.
“He left me stranded in NYC at a bar. I was way too drunk and heartbroken to get a cab back to my dorm room at NYU, so I called my parents and begged them to take me back to Brookhaven with them. I knew they were having a rare date night in the city, so it worked out and they were happy to come get me.”
I shake my head, grateful that he can’t see the tears that have filled my eyes.
“I thought a weekend with my parents in Brookhaven would heal everything. God, I had no idea how wrong I was because that weekend took everything that I loved the most from me so cruelly.”
I prepare myself for the worst part of the story.
“I was pretty much black out drunk, slumped in the back seat of their car when the accident happened. I don’t remember any of it, but the driver had been drunk, going sixty miles over the speed limit when they hit us head-on.
My parents died instantly. I walked away without a single scratch.
And I’ve blamed myself for their deaths and the hole that they’ve left in our family ever since. ”
“Rhiannon.” His fingers dig into my hips until he’s spinning me around under the covers to face him.
I meet his gaze, tears dripping down my cheeks now. His hand cups my face and he wipes away each droplet tenderly.
“I’m so sorry for your loss, but that wasn’t your fault, and I refuse to let you take the blame for an accident that you didn’t cause.”
“If I hadn’t called them and they hadn’t ended their date early, they wouldn’t have been on the road at that exact moment. The only reason I wasn’t killed too was because I was so drunk.”
“That doesn’t mean any of it was your fault.”
I sigh softly. “I know I didn’t cause the accident, but I still felt responsible and it’s a burden that I’ve carried for years now.
Everything that I do, my jobs, how I spend any spare time, all of it I’ve dedicated to making sure Eden doesn’t feel like she’s missing out on anything without having our parents here.
I feel guilty that she only got them for ten years. ”
He listens to me carefully, nodding as his eyes study mine.
“I feel so much loyalty to my siblings and everything I’ve done is to be sure that they have a good life. It’s what my parents would have wanted. It’s what they would have done for Eden if they were still here because they were the best, most unselfish people I’ve ever known.”
He nods his head, tucking me in closer to his chest as I hear his heartbeat soothing me to sleep.
It doesn’t feel as bad as I thought it would, opening to someone about something I feel so much shame around.
My biggest secret and the reason I feel like my twenties have been a struggle to just stay afloat.
The guilt that follows me like a dark cloud.
“I understand how much family means to you. Thank you for sharing this with me,” he says softly. “Thank you for being vulnerable with me.”
And suddenly I realize this is what love feels like. Leo was right. To be loved is to be known.
“You’ll never have to shoulder this alone again. I got you from now on, forever. Your family will be my family. I’ll sacrifice anything and everything for you to see that. I’m in love with you. I’ve got you.”
The tears flow more freely now as he soothes me, holding me in his arms closely, whispering words of reassurance. Eventually, we fall asleep like that.
And this time I know that when the morning comes, I won’t be running.