Logan
Chapter eighteen
“Come on, come on. Pick up,” I groan, tapping my fingers on the steering wheel as the sound of ringing fills my truck. I just dropped Tessa off at her place, and after what she shared with me about her late husband, I need to talk to someone.
Talking to the crew at work feels a little too close to home.
They all grew up in this town. We might work together, but I don’t know whether they would be able to have an unbiased conversation about this.
Calling Luke seems like my best bet, but the guy never takes a day off.
Even though he finally hired someone to help him out at the bookstore, he insists on being there as much as possible.
“Hello?” Luke answers.
I expel a heavy breath before asking, “Are you at the shop?” I don’t necessarily need to hear him answer to know what he’s going to say.
Of course he’s at the bookstore. And if he’s not, then he’s at home, which is conveniently located above the bookstore.
Because somehow, my brother managed to find the perfect location for his dream bookshop, and it just so happened to come with a modest-sized apartment located above it.
“Where else would I be?” Luke asks, a flair of annoyance in his tone. The faint sound of people talking in the background filters through the line.
I don’t want to pull him away from work if he is busy, but I could really use a sounding board right now, and I trust him to give me his honest opinion without any sugar-coated bullshit.
“I’m coming over. Can you step away for a bit?” I’m sure he can hear the desperation in my voice. He knows I wouldn’t interrupt his day or bother him unless it was important.
He’s quiet for a minute, no doubt taking stock of how many people are in the shop.
“Yeah, Rachel’s here. She can handle things for a while.
” Rachel is the woman he hired to help out at Blue Ridge Bookery when needed.
From what he has told me, right now, she is only working part-time, but she has been a good addition.
He’s hopeful that she will be able to handle a full-time position.
Luke is standing behind the check-out desk when I walk in, the bell above the door chiming as he seemingly runs through something with his employee.
His head lifts, a slight smile forming on his lips before he utters something to Rachel and then slips out from behind the desk.
He tilts his head, nodding toward the back of the shop where there’s a door that leads upstairs to his apartment.
He waits until we’re upstairs with the door closed and locked behind us before he asks, “What’s wrong? ”
The mental dam breaks, and the words flow out of me.
I relay what I learned on the picnic date with Tessa, telling him that her husband was a police officer who lost his life on the job, that she found out she was pregnant after losing him, and that she has been raising her son on her own the entire time.
I had no way of knowing what her story would be or just how much my heart would ache for her when she opened up to me about it all.
Nothing she told me changes my mind about her.
If anything, I’m even more sure now that she’s an incredibly kind, strong, resilient woman—one who deserves to be loved and cherished.
Luke nods his head, releasing a heavy sigh. “Fuck,” he breathes. “And you’re okay with all of this? I mean, I wouldn’t blame you if it’s too much to handle.”
Being “okay” with it doesn’t feel like the right way to put it, but I get where he’s coming from.
My relationship with Tessa started with a one-night stand.
I didn’t anticipate it becoming more, but it has.
I would be a fool to walk away from what could end up being the greatest thing to ever happen to me simply because it’s more than what I expected.
Pulling in a deep breath, I say, “I could never be okay with what she’s been through. I hate that she has been through that kind of heartbreak, you know? But at the same time, I wouldn’t have met her otherwise.”
“But do you think you can handle being with someone who has a child?” he asks, studying me. “That’s a big commitment.”
“I’m willing to try. I told her I’m all in, and I meant it.”
“You know, whatever you need, I’ll be here for you.
I don’t know shit about kids, but you know just as well as I do that being present and doing everything you can to protect them and make sure they’re safe, healthy, and happy is what’s most important.
I’m sure you’re gonna fuck up and make mistakes, but you just have to own up to them and keep trying to be better.
” His words hit me like a punch to the gut.
Not because they were anything groundbreaking, but because they’re a reminder of how different his life could have been were it not for our parents.
Luke was a toddler when he was adopted, but even at seven years old, I never saw him as anything other than my brother.
He was too young to remember his life with his biological family, but from what our parents have shared, it wasn’t good.
Without them, his life would have taken a very different turn.
Having witnessed the beauty of adoption firsthand, I’ve never been wholly set on the idea that my children need to be biologically mine.
Many people get caught up in “having a child of their own” as though somehow being genetically tied to a person is the only thing that makes you family.
Or maybe they’re afraid that bringing a child into the family, instead of a baby being born, will mean they love the child less.
In reality, it has nothing to do with how a child is brought into a family and everything to do with the way that family loves and cares for each other.
And then there are children in situations like Jake’s, where they were never given the chance to know one or both of their parents
Like Tessa said, she and her son are a package deal. If I’m serious about her, which I am, then I need to be serious about him too.
My pulse feels like it’s trying to hammer its way through my veins, nerves coiling deep in my stomach. “I just want to be the best that I can for them, you know? I want them to know they can count on me.”
“Then I think you’ll be just fine,” Luke says in reassurance.
I can only hope he’s right.