Logan
Chapter thirty-seven
The list of things I’m afraid of has never been long.
When I was a kid, the list likely consisted of the typical shit like sharks, the dark, and clowns.
The few fears I had were all things I learned not to be afraid of as I got older.
Sharks live in the ocean and don’t hurt people on purpose.
Monsters don’t magically appear under your bed or in the closet when the light goes out.
Clowns are weird as fuck and still kind of creep me out, but I know that beneath the pounds of makeup is a human, not a demon with sharp teeth who eats children.
I’ve built a career around running into fires, something that plenty of people rightfully fear.
Yet I can’t remember the last time I truly felt afraid.
I wasn’t afraid when I made the decision to pack my bags, leave the city, and move to a small town where the only person I knew was my introverted brother.
I wasn’t afraid during that first brush fire that burned through several acres and took us hours to control.
The flames felt relentless, but in the back of my mind, I knew it wasn’t going to be the fire that burned the world to the ground.
It might have taken us a while, but we got it handled.
I wasn’t afraid during a recent call where an elderly couple’s home had gone up in flames due to a candle left burning.
But standing here, having just confessed my love to the woman of my dreams, I’m afraid.
There’s no guarantee she feels the same way, even with her teasing comment about me beating her to it and being the first one to say the words.
Waiting for her to repeat them to me in any capacity feels like fucking torture.
I don’t know what I’ll do if she doesn’t feel the same way.
Especially because it’s not just her I’ve fallen for.
Her son feels like mine too. I would do anything to make him happy, to keep him safe.
The radiant smile painting her face as she gazes up at me gives me hope. The flecks of gold in her hazel eyes have the power to tilt my entire world off its axis. When the words “I love you, Logan” finally fall from her lips, the air whooshes from my lungs.
“Yeah?” I ask, my breath caught in my throat.
Tessa nods as her arms loop around my neck, fingers combing through the longer strands of my hair. “I do. I love you.”
A spark ignites in my chest at her confession.
It burns until the embers burst free, blazing into a comforting heat.
My arms encircle her waist, and she leans up on her tiptoes as I pull her body in tight against mine, pressing a kiss to her temple.
She releases a deep sigh as she buries her face in the crook of my neck, relaxing into my embrace.
I didn’t have a plan for how I was going to confess my love for her, but if I had, I think it would have gone pretty damn similar to this.
No grand gestures, no fancy dinner dates, just the two of us wrapped up in the moment with each other.
“I can’t tell you how good it feels to hear you say that, baby.
I’ve been wanting to tell you how I felt, but I was worried you weren’t ready yet.
The last thing I’d ever want to do is scare you off or pressure you into something.
You and Jake are everything to me,” I say.
As much as I need her to know how I feel about her, I also need her to know how I feel about her son.
There is no Tessa without Jake. He’s a part of her just as he has become a part of me.
“You really mean that?” she asks. “About Jake?”
“Every bit of it.”
“Then… can I ask you something?” The hesitancy in her voice makes me nervous, but I need to know the thoughts floating around in her mind.
Brushing my thumbs along her hips, I revel in the way she instinctively leans into me. “You can always ask me anything, darlin’.”
“Will you move in with us? It’s okay if you’re not ready for that yet.
I know Jake sort of already told you to, but I don’t want you to feel like you have to say yes simply because you said you loved me.
There’s a big difference between occasionally being a father figure and being a dad.
I understand if it’s too much too soon or if—”
“Tessa,” I choke out. The only answer in my mind is a resounding yes, but there’s another word she said that’s holding my attention.
Her rambling was cute, endearing even, but then she mentioned being a dad.
As if the word were a trigger, images begin to play out in my mind.
Things I’ve thought about but never let myself truly indulge in.
Spending holidays together as a family, visiting her parents, visiting my parents, and getting to see Luke be an uncle.
Celebrating Jake’s success in school, sports, or anything else he chooses to do.
A kaleidoscope of brightly painted visions floods my mind, my heart thrumming in my chest as each one becomes more vibrant than the last.
The one I settle on, the one that steals the breath from my lungs, is Tessa curled up on the couch, reading a book to our boy as he rests his head on her pregnant belly.
Fuck. I know she wants another child someday, and I would love to have a big family, but a year ago, I would have said it wasn’t going to happen for me.
This woman turned my world upside down when she spilled her drinks on me months ago, and it’s been nothing short of amazing ever since.
“I’ve scared you off now, huh?”
Wait. What?
It’s only then that I realize I haven’t spoken since I managed to choke out her name.
“Fuck, darlin’. I’m sorry. You didn’t scare me.
Quite the opposite, actually. I told you before I was all in, and I’ll tell you again every day if that’s what you need.
I would love to move in with you, baby. But just know that’s only the beginning. I want everything with you, Tessa.”
Delicate fingers curl around the back of my head, pulling me in close. “Everything?” she asks, her breath warm against my skin.
“Everything,” I confirm, grasping her jaw between my fingers and pulling her mouth to mine. The kiss is a tangle of lips, teeth, and tongue as our emotions pour out, devouring one another in a passionate frenzy.
“Hey now, save that shit for the bedroom,” Gray grumbles as he walks up to us, a drink in hand. I look around for any sign of Aaron, but he seems to have disappeared.
I’m ready to tell Gray to fuck off, but then Liv appears beside him, her arms folded across her chest. “You wouldn’t have to be so jealous if you’d stop fucking scowling at everyone tonight.
I swear I’ve watched at least five different women try to approach you, only to change their minds because of that mean ass look on your face. ”
Gray’s brows furrow as he stares down at her, his jaw clenched. I can see the cogs in his mind whirring to life. I don’t know how much of his almost-outburst Liv saw, but she doesn’t seem fazed. “Didn’t realize you were paying so much attention to me,” he goads.
Liv scoffs, planting her hands on her hips. “In your dreams.”
His head drops back with a laugh. “Oh, if you only knew.”
Tessa’s hazel eyes swivel between the two of them, her lips pressed into a tight line as her eyebrows pinch at the way their interaction is unfolding. “You’re both kinda ruining our moment,” she says.
I grasp her waist, pulling her tight against me as I press a kiss to her temple.
“What did I miss?” Liv asks, turning her attention to her friend.
“Logan’s moving in with me.” Tessa smiles as our gazes collide.
“Wait, really? That’s amazing!” Liv ignores my hold on Tess and grabs her hand, yanking her from my arms and pulling her in for a hug.
“Guess that means we’re celebrating,” Gray says, a smile replacing his scowl.