Chapter 3 Cleo
cleo
. . .
Just when I thought this day couldn’t get any worse, piercing blue eyes found my own, pinning me to the spot. I couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. My hands fell to my lap, and I clutched them together, trying to stop the shaking.
How could my father—an exceedingly talented and sharp-witted businessman—manage to book the only person in the world I didn’t want to be within one hundred feet of? We’d spent a good twelve years and thousands of miles apart, and I’d wanted to keep it that way for the rest of my life.
Seeing him here, in our hometown, for the second time in four months was putting a bit of a kink in my plan.
When Lennox had dragged me out to the Lonestar, one of the only bars in Ashwood, earlier in the summer, I hadn’t fought her.
As the baby of the family, she usually got what she wanted anyway.
It would’ve been useless to argue. Plus, I wanted to have some fun.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d gone out for a few drinks with anyone, let alone my sisters.
However, I should’ve known to ask a question or two before agreeing because my sister was too damn sneaky.
She knew if she’d told me about the live music from the get-go, I would’ve stayed home.
Not that I blamed her for what happened next.
She didn’t know Lawson Wilde, county music superstar, was the small-town boy with a different name who I swore I’d marry someday.
If it hadn’t been for Lennox’s running into him after the show, he wouldn’t have even known I was there.
I should’ve been able to slip out from under his radar, but that was too much to hope for.
The moment he looked up and saw me standing mere feet away was like a lightning strike to my barely beating heart.
I thought I’d be fine. That our chance encounter was a one-time thing, and I’d never have to see him again. But now he was here, and there was nothing I could do, nowhere I could hide.
Had he taken the gig on purpose, or had it all been one massive cosmic ‘fuck you’ from the universe? Penance for some heinous atrocity I didn’t know I’d committed in a previous life?
My leg bounced beneath the table; an uncontrollable tick that happened whenever my anxiety was racking up. I was hovering somewhere around a Defcon 2 status, which meant it was taking everything in me not to bolt and run for the hills.
“We’ve actually met before, Mr. Hayes,” Grady said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Cleo and I went to high school together.”
“Un-fucking-believable,” I scoffed, rolling my eyes. Of course, he’d drop that little bomb before flitting back to his perfect life. Meanwhile, I’d get hounded by questions from my mom and sisters, the lot of them wondering why I never said anything before.
Maybe because it was none of their business.
If I wasn’t so damn angry, maybe I’d be more hurt by his words.
After all, we’d done a hell of a lot more than just go to school together.
He’d been my first everything. First date, first kiss, first time, and then…
first heartbreak. I hated that they all belonged to him.
It hurt so much more remembering he was entwined with some of the most defining moments of my life.
Dad studied him. “Huh. I don’t remember anyone with that name in Cleo’s graduating class.”
“Yeah, Lawson’s a stage name. My agent thought it’d be a good idea, so I ran with it.”
Mom snapped her fingers, smile faltering as she connected the dots. “You’re Marsha Wilde’s boy, aren’t you? Grady?” He nodded, hiding the sting of a painful memory with a forced smile. “I was so sorry to hear about her passing. She was a good woman.”
“Yes, ma’am, and thank you. She was something special.
” Grady rocked back on his heels, hands in his pockets.
He always had this way of looking way too casual and cool.
It was the first thing I noticed about him—like he was wholly unaffected by the world around him, just doing his own thing.
His gaze found my own, waiting just for a beat too long.
“I’d love to catch up if you have time—”
No, I couldn’t do this. Not here. Not now. Not ever.
I pushed to my feet and grabbed my plate. Not that I was going to be able to finish it. My appetite had vanished. “Sorry, I’m busy.”
He stepped forward, bumping into the table. “I can talk while you walk. You know, just wanted to say hi and—”
“And now you have,” I said quickly, attempting to keep my voice even. The damn thing was trying to betray me. “I’m sure you have better things to do anyway.”
“I don’t.” Grady smiled, nodding toward the stage. “The show doesn’t start for another hour, and I’d love to catch up while we wait.”
“I’ve got to get back to Cook. I told him I wouldn’t be gone long.” I paused, tapping my finger on the table before adding, “I’d say maybe next time, but I’m sure you’ll be gone by morning.”
Lennox mumbled, “Oh shit,” beneath her breath and laughed. Josie quickly jabbed her in the ribs when I looked their way.
I’d barely taken a step when his next words stopped me dead. “Actually, I’m home for good. Now that the band’s on a break, I thought it’d be a good idea to move back. I never got the chance to go through Mom’s things when she passed, and there’s a lot to do around her place.”
You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. He was moving back?
“You’re not leaving?” I whispered, closing my hand into a tight fist. I pretended I had a hold of my stress ball, that I could take away this burning hot flash of frustration. Just like this morning, no pressure was strong enough to take away the pain.
Grady couldn’t stay. This was my town. My safe space. I’d come back to get away from my past mistakes, not run back to them. It was supposed to be my chance to reinvent myself, to clear my head of all the bullshit I’d had to face in my marriage and move on with my life.
“I’m not leaving,” he said, softening his voice.
It was almost like the voice in my memories, but it was deeper now.
Melodic and soothing and ultimately so dangerous.
It wouldn’t take much for him to persuade me to say yes.
Not if he kept talking to me like that. “So, if you can’t catch up tonight, I understand, but I’d love to get together sometime—”
“DADDY!”
With one word, I felt my entire world collapse. A little girl, likely five or six, catapulted herself into his arms. He caught her easily, lifting her up and kissing her forehead.
Grady Wilde has a kid. He has a fucking kid.
Oh god, I was going to be sick.
I didn’t know why I was surprised. He’d been married longer than I’d been to Thomas, so it made sense.
Seeing their resemblance was almost more than I could take, though.
It reminded me of long suppressed memories and broken promises between two kids who’d had no business dreaming of a future together.
“Hey baby girl, what’re you doing here?” Grady’s eyes briefly darted my direction. “I thought I told you to stay backstage.”
“Well, Momma said Uncle Ben needed your help, and she asked me to go find you.” The girl brought her finger to Grady’s nose and tapped it once. “And so that’s what I did!” She looked around at the table. Everyone had gone deathly still. “Daddy, who’re they?”
I couldn’t stop my hand from shaking, the plate I was holding nearly clattering to the ground. Lennox rushed around the table and took it from my grip before I dropped it.
“They own this ranch, honey. We’re here to celebrate this gentleman’s birthday.” Grady motioned toward Dad, but I felt his attention linger on where I stood.
“I love birthdays!” she said, throwing her little arms in the air. “They’re my favorite day!”
“You know what?” Dad chuckled. “Me too. Mine’s been pretty good so far.”
“Are you gonna listen to my daddy play?”
“I sure am.”
“Yay! He’s the best. My momma loves listening to him play, too. She says his music is pretty,” she said. Even though she was young, there was such pride in her voice as she spoke about him.
It was like a trainwreck I couldn’t look away from. Beautifully tragic in so many ways. He had everything I’d always wanted, everything we’d always talked about.
Just not with me.
“I like your dress. Blue is my favorite color.”
I blinked, coming to myself and staring at her little face. I offered a brittle smile, hoping like hell it came across as genuine. I’d taught kids long enough to know how to fake emotion, but this was harder than the rest, and sometimes kids were too perceptive. “Thank you. It’s mine, too.”
“Mommy and Daddy did my whole room in blue,” she said, looking back at Grady for only a second. “It’s my favorite room ever.”
I felt the tear slip down my cheek before I could stop it. Why did I care? Why did it hurt my heart so much that this precious girl loved the color blue? Why did I ache at the sight of him holding her so close?
I wiped my cheek before the moisture could reach my jaw. “You’re so lucky to have them.” My voice broke on the last word, and I quickly turned my face to hide it. “I don’t mean to be rude, but I need to get back to work.”
Bishop reached out, gently touching my arm. “You good?”
My bottom lip wobbled. “Yeah, it’s just a lot.”
He didn’t know much about Grady or our history, but he dipped his chin. “It is. You know where to find me if you need me.”
I reached out, placing my hand on his shoulder. I didn’t consider myself the type of person who enjoyed or easily gave physical affection, but Bishop was the closest thing I had to a brother. He was family. Something about him spoke to a part of my soul. “Thank you,” I whispered.
I wasn’t sure if my family noticed I was heading in the opposite direction of Cook, but it didn’t matter.
I took off, making my way through the throng of people.
Everyone was crowded around tables—talking, laughing, and having a great time.
Their smiles were genuine, and I wanted to be able to enjoy the celebration too, but I couldn’t.
All I could think about was him.
“I’m not leaving.”
I didn’t own Ashwood, but if I did, I would’ve made a rule that Grady Wilde was banned from coming within thirty miles of our town.
I was being irrational, I could admit it, but all I could think about was the audacity it took for him to not only move back home, but to then agree to do a concert at my family’s ranch.
That bastard knew I’d be here. He knew how much I loved my dad. I wouldn’t miss his birthday for the world. What kind of game was Grady playing at? There was nothing for us to talk about as far as I was concerned. Anything that needed to be said had been long ago.
Even if there were anything new, I wasn’t interested in hearing it.
God, Laura was going to have one hell of a time unwinding my twisted thoughts about everything that’d just happened.
I didn’t realize how far I’d walked until I stumbled into the barn. People milled back and forth in the enclosed arena, watching the amateur rodeo events and betting on how long people would last on the back of a bucking bronc.
I looked around. It was too loud. There was nowhere to hide. I couldn’t even climb up to my sister’s renovated hayloft for peace because it didn’t have any damn walls. Other than hiding in my parent’s house, there was only one place I knew I could turn to.
One place no one knew to look.