Chapter 11 Cleo
cleo
. . .
I collapsed onto the couch, letting out a low groan as my body sank into the leather and stared up at the ceiling.
Every part of my body ached. I may have been used to running after kids all day, but not with the additional concern of wide-open spaces and teaching animal safety.
By the end of the day, I’d nearly had twenty heart attacks from every time one of the kids launched themselves toward a horse they thought was cute.
I struggled to make it through dinner. Thankfully, we had leftovers from the weekend I was able to scarf down without having to worry about cooking a full meal.
The only reason I hadn’t made a beeline for my bed was the fact that I always tried to spend time with Mom and Dad before they went to sleep.
Not that it seemed to matter tonight. Some old TV show they loved played in the background, but neither of them was paying attention to it.
Instead, their attention was focused on me.
“How’d the first day go?” Dad asked. The leather groaned as he shifted into a comfortable position. “Saw a lot of cars out front.”
“Oh, it looked like it was so much fun,” Mom cooed from his side. She walked in from the kitchen and perched on the ottoman. “I kept watching all the parents drop off this morning, and those kids—they were just precious!”
I squeezed my eyes closed, trying to forget about one father and daughter duo in particular. I still don’t think it’d hit me that Grady was back in town, or that his daughter had clung to my side at every chance she got.
Lennox and I agreed to split the kids in half by last name to make pick-up go a bit smoother. When the time came, I’d all but begged my sister to take the first half of the alphabet so I didn’t have to see Grady again.
She may not have fully known my reason for the switch, but if there was one thing I cherished about my sister, it was her unyielding loyalty. That girl understood if I was asking for a favor, there was likely a damn good reason. Especially if I begged.
I never begged.
Someday Lennox would ask me about it, but not yet. She would give me the time I needed to figure things out myself before asking questions I didn’t have answers to.
“I think it went really well,” I said, pushing thoughts of Grady from my mind. Or at least, I tried to. It didn’t really work as planned. In fact, the more I thought about the day, the less I could recall about the actual camp.
He’d been at the forefront of my mind, even when I tried my hardest to get him out. There was only one blissful moment of the day that’d been Grady-free, however, it quickly came to a screeching halt when Charlie came running up to me after lunch and asked to see my pony.
Her affection should have made me uncomfortable, but it didn’t. The truth was I loved being someone she could rely on. Loved the way she seemed carefree and full of life. There was never a moment she censored herself, nor was she afraid to ask for the things she wanted.
If anything, I was jealous in a way. I wished I could’ve been more like that when I was her age.
Maybe if I were, I wouldn’t have spent my life waiting around for something—anything—to happen.
Maybe I would’ve gone out into the world and demanded what I deserved, instead of settling for something I’d known in my bones hadn’t been right.
Maybe I would’ve fought a little bit harder, too.
After we walked into the barn this morning, she divulged her entire life story—including the fact that her real name was Charlotte and she’d never been around so many kids before. When I asked her about school, she just shrugged and said her parents worked a lot, so she had a private tutor.
Seeing her again was like a fever dream.
Whether I wanted to admit it or not, I’d spent a portion of my life wondering what Grady and I’s kids would look like.
He used to tease me relentlessly, saying he hoped our little girl would be my mini-me.
I’d secretly hoped for the opposite. I wanted a little blonde-haired beauty running around that had eyes as crystal clear as his were.
That was Charlie to a T.
As hard as it was to be around her, I also couldn’t deny my curiosity.
Her willingness to share literally everything was somehow distinct from the other kids.
She was special in a way that made me sad and happy at the same time.
There were so many things about her that reminded me of the boy I used to know, the one who has always held my heart.
“That’s great, sugar,” Dad said, giving me a sleepy smile. “You and your sister have worked so hard on this project. It must feel good to see it come together so nicely.”
“Huh?” I asked, lifting my head to stare at him. “Oh yeah, it feels great.”
Mom and Dad shared a look. “You feeling okay?”
“I think I’m just tired.”
He nodded, but I didn’t miss the flash of concern in his eyes. “You don’t have to babysit us old folks, ya know. Why don’t you head on to bed?”
I nodded, faking a yawn for their own benefit.
I was tired, but there was no way I was getting to sleep now that I’d let myself go down the rabbit hole that was Grady Wilde.
“Good idea.” I stood up, walking over and kissing the top of their heads before saying goodnight.
“And for the record, I’m not babysitting. ”
Dad snorted, and Mom rolled her eyes as she settled into the crook of the chair next to him. “Sure you aren’t.”
The house was quiet as I walked down the hall. It felt empty. Devoid of everything other than my parents’ fading conversation in the living room. I remember the days when our home was overflowing with life. It was such a strange contrast to the silence.
It used to be nothing to hear my sisters giggling and scheming from the other side of their doors.
They would be up for hours, chatting until the early morning about boys and Cosmopolitan magazine.
When I was younger, it used to annoy me, especially when our parents were working from sun up to sun down to grow this ranch into the enterprise it was today.
But now with Josie, baby Stella, and Lincoln living in their newly built home on the property and Lennox in love and shacked up with Bishop, I found myself missing my sisters more than I ever realized.
It wasn’t that I didn’t see them daily, because I did.
Lennox and I still worked together during the summer, and I frequently meal-prepped for Josie so she wouldn’t have to worry about it.
This was different, though. It was sad. Desolate. Empty.
Stepping into my bedroom, I quickly closed the door behind me and ran for my phone. I needed to talk to someone. Someone who knew everything, who wouldn’t judge my warring mind.
With trembling fingers, I texted Rachel.
Cleo
I need my friend and not a therapist.
I waited, my anxiety ratcheting up as the three dots popped up at the bottom of our messages.
Rachel
1. I’m not your therapist
2. Hit me with anything and everything.
I chewed on my lip, wondering what I should say. Might as well cut straight to the chase.
Cleo
Grady’s back.
The bubbles popped up, then quickly disappeared. Time seemed to drag as I waited impatiently for her reply. There was likely going to be a worn path on my rug from pacing back and forth.
Rachel
What do you mean, he’s back? Back where?
Cleo
I mean, he showed up on the ranch with his daughter in tow, talking about how he enrolled her in my camp. Then he told me, yet again, how he doesn’t plan on leaving. I swear to God the universe is gaslighting me.
Rachel
How did you not know he’d signed up? You’ve been monitoring that list like a hawk.
Cleo
Apparently, he used her mom’s last name.
Rachel
Ah
Well
Cleo
Very insightful. Thank you for your wise words. *eyeroll emoji
My phone vibrated in my hand, and I quickly swiped to answer it.
“Okay, you can’t just drop that on me in a text message,” she said, huffing slightly. Her voice was breathy and low, like she’d just gotten done running a mile. “I don’t know what you expected.”
“Are you okay?” I asked, looking at the time. It was well past ten, which wasn’t late per se, but Rachel was almost always in bed by this time. She’d always been an early riser. “You sound a little—”
“I’m good,” she rushed out, cutting me off. “Now give me a rundown on everything that happened today.”
So, I did. I told her every single detail from the moment I looked up and saw Grady standing there with Charlie in tow, to the moment I watched him pick her up, scanning the front lawn and leaving with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes when he didn’t find what he was looking for.
When he didn’t find me.
The thought alone nearly made me laugh, because all of this was beyond insanity. Why couldn’t I just suck it up and put the past behind me? Why did he still have this freaking pull on my heart, the capability of turning me into a bumbling idiot who couldn’t stop sweating at the mention of his name?
Honestly, I was overreacting. He wasn’t looking for me. He wasn’t sad. No, it was just my mind giving me the slightest hint of hope so I’d be disappointed yet again when he packed up and left in his stupid, shiny new truck.
It was hard for me to unblock his number. I didn’t know why I’d felt so embarrassed when his call went straight to voicemail. We both knew it wasn’t going to go through, but that knowledge sat unspoken between us like a bomb waiting to go off.
Now that nothing was keeping him away, I was all too aware of the silence on his end. There’d been no texts or calls to make sure they’d go through. No bullshit questions about the camp to get me to respond like I thought there would be.
It was silent, just like this stupid house.
“Wow,” Rachel said. “That’s… a lot.”
“Tell me about it,” I muttered, reaching for the worn daisy on my desk. I squeezed it, feeling the dried edges crack beneath the pressure.