Chapter 17 Cleo
cleo
. . .
Butterflies danced in my stomach as I heard a knock on the front door.
Looking out the window, I saw a familiar, faded orange truck in the driveway.
“I’ll get it,” I muttered as my mom put down her spatula.
It was hard not to miss the knowing look she shared with my dad, but I didn’t care.
I rounded the corner to the entryway, glancing down and smoothing the wrinkles from my dress before sucking in a breath and opening the door.
Grady stood on the threshold holding a massive bouquet of flowers in his arms. They were all different shades of blue and cream, with an occasional pop of golden yellow.
His smile widened when he took in my dress, even more so as his gaze dipped to the short hem and my long legs on display.
“Bluebird,” he said, leaning in to give me a chaste kiss. “I missed you.”
“I missed you, too,” I whispered, stepping aside to let him in.
It was dramatic, I knew that, but I really had missed him.
It felt like we’d hardly had a moment alone the past two weeks.
We were both getting ready to leave for college on Sunday, so our parents were holding onto their time with us a little more than usual.
Plus, Grady had spent nearly every day working as much as he could since he hadn’t had a chance to find a part-time job in Austin yet.
Mom and Dad decided to turn our weekly dinner into a celebration for Grady and me.
Usually, Friday nights were strictly family.
Every now and then, one of them would ask me to invite Grady over, but it didn’t happen often.
When they made the suggestion, I jumped at the chance. It felt right having everyone together.
“Oh, sweetie, you look beautiful!” his mom, Marsha, called, coming up behind him with her arms laden with sweets.
“Here, let me help!” I said, stepping forward to grab the pie pan in one hand and a plate of cookies in the other.
She smiled, tossing her head back toward her son and husband behind her. “I don’t trust either of them with all these goods. I already had to smack Robert because I found him sneaking a cookie before we left.”
Robert frowned and rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s not my fault they’re so good. You said you were going to make a batch for the house, too.”
Marsha turned around, mouth agape. “I did, and you ate them all before we left the house!”
“Did I hear someone say cookies?” my dad asked, coming around and rubbing his belly. “I do love cookies.”
“And it shows!” Mom called from the kitchen. “Now, y’all help that poor woman in this house so she can have a drink.”
My mom was a fan of all things sweet and was a great baker, but she didn’t have the patience Grady’s mom had.
Marsha Wilde and I had first bonded over our love of sweets.
The first time I met her, she was busy in the kitchen making a batch of dark chocolate croissants entirely from scratch.
When I asked her for the recipe, she told me to wash my hands and grab an apron off the hook so she could show me how.
Ever since, she would invite me over when she found a recipe she wanted to try. I was always much more nervous than she was, never wanting to make a mistake, but she waved me off and told me that was half the fun of baking.
I still wasn’t sure if I felt the same way, but failing didn’t seem so bad when we did it together. Sometimes, Grady would even help, although he was incredibly hopeless in the kitchen.
Grady took my hand as our moms giggled and our dads disappeared into the garage for a couple of beers. He tilted his head toward the living room, tugging me around the corner and out of sight from our parents.
The moment we were alone, Grady’s lips were on mine. He pressed my body into the wall, hands roaming until they settled on my hips. It took every bit of effort I had not to moan at the urgency in his touch.
True to our word, Grady and I had remained abstinent.
I mean, we weren’t chaste by any means—we definitely did other things, but we hadn’t gone there yet.
It was extremely dramatic, but sometimes I felt like I might die waiting for it to happen.
No matter how many times we kissed until our lips were swollen or lay in each other’s arms, drunk on lust, nothing had filled the ache left behind.
“You’re killing me, bluebird. It should be illegal to wear a dress like that in front of our parents when I can’t do a damn thing about it.
” His voice was heady as he pressed his groin into mine.
The pressure was almost too much. “I’m gonna have to recite baseball teams or something so I don’t get a hard-on in front of everyone. ”
I could relate, although my need wasn’t as obvious to those around us as his was. Grady would know, though. He would notice every time I squeezed my thighs together or shifted in my seat. For some reason, that only made it hotter. Like it was a secret only the two of us shared.
His lips trailed down my neck, and I smiled. “I wore it for you. I knew how much you liked it,” I confessed.
“I can’t wait until we can finally be alone,” he whispered, pulling back and pressing a gentle kiss to my lips. “I can’t wait for—”
“Cleo and Grady, sittin’ in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G—” Josie and Lennox peered around the corner, giggling and smiling as Grady and I jumped apart. Their smiles fell as I narrowed my eyes in their direction, and they took off back toward our parents.
I followed them, cheeks flamed from being caught and center aching from being interrupted. “You little sh—”
But it was too late. They were already cowering behind our mom when I stepped into the kitchen. “Language, Cleo!” Mom shrieked. She put her hands on her hips as my sisters peeked out from behind her. “You’re an adult, now. You can’t be chasing your sisters around like this.”
Josie looked slightly embarrassed at what she witnessed, but Lennox stuck her tongue out at me as a taunt.
When Mom turned around, I narrowed my eyes again and mouthed, “I will end you.” All the color drained from her face, which was enough for me.
It wasn’t like I would be here to follow through on any threats, although I’d keep this in mind when she got a bit older and brought her first boyfriend home.
Being so much older than them hadn’t gotten easier over the years.
It was so painfully obvious now that I kept to myself most of the time.
Sometimes Josie would come to me for advice.
I’d been the one she called when she started her period for the first time, which I was grateful for.
Thankfully, it’d been over the summer, so she hadn’t needed to worry about explaining a change of clothes in her locker or why her bathroom breaks made her late to class like I had.
I crossed my arms as Grady walked past me toward his mom. “Well, if I’m an adult now, I’d like to be able to have a private moment alone from time to time. They shouldn’t be sneaking up and embarrassing me—”
“Oh, hell no,” my dad groaned. He joined the fray, plugging his ears as he took a seat at the table. “I don’t need to hear about private moments—”
“It’s only natural,” Marsha interrupted, ready to play devil’s advocate. “You remember what it was like to be young and in love, I’m sure.”
I smiled at her words, looking down at my feet. It was no secret I loved Grady or that he loved me, but hearing her say it made it feel real. We weren’t dismissed as two crazy kids who had no business feeling the way we did. It was legitimized.
“Just keep it away from me,” he muttered before taking a sip of his beer. “I got two more daughters to worry about after this. My heart can’t take the stress.”
“Douglas, your heart is just fine,” Mom called over her shoulder. “Just count your blessings we still have a few years before worrying about this stuff with Josie.”
Josie’s head snapped up. “Wait, worrying about what?”
“I think they’re talking about boys,” Lennox said with a roll of her eyes.
“Ew, gross.” Josie scrunched up her nose, but not in time to hide the hint of curiosity I saw there.
“That’s what I’m saying,” our youngest sister mumbled.
Dad looked between the two and shook his head. “God, help me.”
Robert clapped him on the shoulder. “Ain’t enough prayers in the world to save you from three daughters.”
“No shit,” Dad snorted, pushing to his feet. “Let’s get these steaks going so I don’t have to sit here and listen to this.”
Grady’s fingers lightly traced the exposed skin along my shoulder as the cicadas sang loudly in the summer night.
Kenny Rogers was playing on the radio, and Dad belted out the words while Robert played the air drums in the background.
We all laughed until our sides hurt, calling for an encore as the music faded away.
They both groaned, wiping the sweat from their brows. “I’m too old for a fuckin’ encore,” Dad panted.
“Yeah, drumming takes a lot out of a person,” Robert said. He sat down and reached for his beer, pausing before it reached his lips. “But I bet if y’all asked nicely, Grady here would love to sing everyone a song.”
Grady immediately shook his head. “Oh no, I’m good being an audience member. Y’all do your thing.”
“Come on, son. We were just your openers,” his dad teased. “You’ll have to get over that stage fright sometime. Might as well be now.”
“I didn’t even bring my guitar—”
“Isn’t it in the truck?” Marsha asked. “I could’ve sworn I saw it…”
“But I haven’t warmed up—”
She snapped her fingers. “It’s a good thing you’ve been singing along with these two buffoons all night, isn’t it?”
“Mom—”
“I’m afraid you can’t out bullshit a bullshitter, son. I will win every time.”
Robert laughed. “Might as well get used to it. I’m sure you don’t win many arguments as it is.”
I chuckled. “No, he definitely doesn’t.”
Grady pinched my side and leaned in to whisper, “You’re not helping.”
“And I’m not gonna,” I said back, kissing his cheek. “It’s just family, baby. If you can’t do it here, how are you going to in front of strangers?”
He bit down on his lip, eyes darting around the backyard before landing on me. “Alright, but only because you asked. Let me go grab my guitar.”
“Already got it,” Dad said, walking outside with the instrument clutched in his hand. I hadn’t even seen him leave, but he must have snuck out while everyone was bickering. He walked over and knelt in front of Grady, the case outstretched for him to take. “Show us how it’s done, son.”
I didn’t miss the slight tremble in his hand as he took the guitar from its case, or the way he sucked down the rest of his sweet tea before nervously strumming the strings. “What do y’all wanna hear?”
Our parents bickered back and forth on song titles until his mom finally shouted out Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton.
Grady smiled, and I knew it was one of their favorites to play together.
I’d listened to them come together on quiet nights spent at their house.
She would start it off, staying up until the first chorus had ended, and then he’d take over while she asked Robert to dance.
Sometimes I felt like an intruder, but it was love in its purest form—stripped back until the noise of the world had faded into silence and there was nothing between two lovers but the connection they shared.
The moment Grady opened his mouth and began to sing, it was like the world stopped.
Would I ever get used to this? No matter how many times I’d heard his voice or watched him play, my skin always broke out in goosebumps, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe.
This talent was the kind people prayed for, and he didn’t even realize how gifted he truly was.
He shrugged it off like anyone could do, like he wasn’t any better than any other musician with a dream in their heart and a story to tell.
I glanced around the yard, soaking in the expressions of awe and adoration on our parents’ faces.
They, maybe more than I, understood how extraordinary he was.
My father clapped his on the back, while his mother let her tears fall as mine held her hand.
Even Josie and Lennox sat still, listening intently with something like wonder on their young faces.
And just like in his parents’ house, Robert asked Marsha to dance. My parents followed suit, joining the fray as they all slowly danced beneath the moonlight.
It was at that perfect moment in time I knew unequivocally what I wanted, and what I wanted was Grady to be the one to take my virginity.
For so long, I was scared to lose this last piece of me I’d held near and dear to my heart.
Like it was one last thing that belonged to me and me alone.
Mine to keep or use as I saw fit, and I didn’t want to wait any longer.
When Grady finished, he was met with thunderous applause. He kept his head ducked low, trying his best to downplay all the compliments and praise ringing in the air. The faint creep of a blush stained his cheeks, which was ridiculously adorable.
“I think we’re gonna have to give them another song, don’t you, Doug?” Robert asked, downing the rest of his beer. “Show him some old dogs can learn new tricks.”
Dad laughed, wandering over to the stack of CDs next to the stereo. “What’ll it be?”
As Grady slipped the guitar into its case, he turned over his shoulder to give me a smile.
God, he looked so beautiful, haloed by the soft yellow glow of the strung-up Christmas lights over our heads.
I wasn’t sure what he saw on my face, but he slid his hand onto my knee and squeezed. “You okay?” he asked.
I nodded once, clearing my throat. “Y—Yeah, I’m good.” I glanced around, noticing our parents lost to themselves. “Wanna get out of here?”
There was a moment when I wondered if he would say no, to remind me we had agreed to wait until we were away at college and that this was reckless. My heart was beating out of my chest, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe.
But then his face softened, eyes darting to the door behind us. “I’ll go anywhere with you, bluebird.”