Chapter 20 Cleo
cleo
. . .
“You’re here late.”
I looked up to find Lennox standing in the doorway of Josie’s office.
Even though she was champing at the bit to come back, our sister was still out on her semi-forced maternity leave.
Every time she wandered up to the barn or the main house, she had deep circles beneath her eyes and clothes littered in spit-up stains, so we’d tell her to march her happy ass back home.
Stella, as cute as she was, was a bit clingy to both her parents.
When Lincoln walked out of the room, she cried.
Every time Josie sat her down for two seconds, she screamed.
The only exception was when our dad was present.
I already knew that girl was going to be spoiled rotten by the time her first birthday came around.
But Josie being out meant no one was handling the admin work full-time.
Mom and I split it when we could, and Lennox hopped in when Bishop didn’t need her help on the back of a horse.
With the camp taking so much of my time and attention, though, I hadn’t had a chance to dig into the emails and invoices like I should’ve been.
I nodded toward the computer. “It’s only 6:30. Besides, no rest for the wicked, or however the saying goes.”
“Oh yeah, I get that,” Lennox said. She sauntered forward, sitting down in one of the jade green chairs Josie had bought, and propped her feet on the desk. “That’s what Bishop mutters every night before bed when I’m still curled up with one of my books.”
“He’s not wrong,” I snickered.
She stuck her tongue out. “Are you almost ready to go?”
“To bed? Uh, no,” I told her, confused. “Ready to go where—oh shit.” Josie was coming over to the main house for a girls’ night, while Bishop helped Lincoln drink a few beers and Dad got cuddle time with his new favorite girl.
I’d been looking forward to it since we made the plans a few weeks ago, but that’d been before Grady came barreling back into my life and sent me spiraling. It turned out actively trying not to think about someone only made you think of them more. Who knew?
The issue was I was supposed to be on snack duty, and I had completely forgotten.
“Lucky for you, I loaded up on all the chips and dips anyone could ever want. I’m talking salsa, guac, and queso—the holy trinity—hummus, French onion, spinach and artichoke, ranch—”
“What the hell, Len?”
“—and ranch dip,” she finished, ticking them all off her fingers.
“Did you buy the whole freaking store? What about the stuff you were supposed to get?” I asked.
She shrugged. “Look, y’all put me on drinks for a reason, and as always, I delivered. I tried volunteering for the main course, and Mom shot me down. Then I tried to take desserts, and Josie stole that—even though this whole evening was supposed to be a way for her to relax—and you had snacks.”
“So, you stole the snacks?”
“Is it stealing if you forgot?”
I mean, I guess she had a point, but it didn’t make me feel any less shitty. Usually, I was the one picking up after my sisters, anticipating anything that might go wrong and what I’d need to do to make sure things ran smoothly.
I sighed. “I’m sorry, Len. I’ve been really spacey this week. I’ll get better once the camp’s over, and I can get back to some semblance of normality.”
“I suppose I can hand the snacks back to you next time,” she said, steepling her fingers.
“I don’t know, you may be stuck with it now. Especially since you picked up Mom’s favorite. I’ll probably be demoted to drinks.”
Lennox jumped out of her seat and pointed in my direction. “Aha! I knew it. Drinks do go to the least reliable.”
I smiled, saving the spreadsheet I was working on and shutting the computer down before pushing to my feet. “I never said that.”
“You didn’t not say it either, though.” She narrowed her eyes. “I’m gonna ask Mom.”
She probably wouldn’t like the answer she got. It wasn’t that Lennox was unreliable—she wasn’t in the slightest—it was just that my dear sister had little to no patience for cooking. Given the choice between a home-cooked meal and grazing on random things for dinner, she’d choose the grazing.
“I think it’s more the fact that Mom doesn’t consider ‘girl dinner’ a real thing,” I said, locking up the office as we walked into the barn.
As I turned, Lennox looped her arm with mine and led me outside. “Well, that sounds like Mom’s problem. Who doesn’t love a good charcuterie board? Those little salami roses? I mean, come on. They’re so cute.”
“Do you even know how to make those?” I asked.
“No, but that isn’t the point. It’s the fact that it’s a real thing.” She tipped her head back in a groan. “Ugh, that’s what I should’ve done for tonight! It would’ve been a chance to show her I was right.”
“Alright, well, let’s make a deal,” I chuckled. “We’ll switch next time. That’ll give you plenty of time to practice meat art.”
Lennox turned to me as we reached the front door of our parents’ house and gave me a wink. “Meat art is a pastime I can get behind.”
I shoved her forward as she stepped inside. “Gross, Len. I don’t want to hear about what you do with Bishop’s dick—”
A spluttering cough caught our attention, and we both looked up to see Lincoln, Bishop, and our dad standing in the living room staring at us in a mixture of horror and humor.
“God fucking dammit, Lennox,” Bishop cursed. Lincoln burst out laughing, earning a jab from the grumpy bastard beside him. “It’s not funny, you asshole.”
“I mean, it’s a little funny,” he said, glancing down at his feet to hide his smile.
Bishop jerked his head toward the kitchen. “You want Josie to walk in talking about that shit in front of everyone?”
Lincoln shrugged. “I don’t believe in gatekeeping, buddy, and I’ve got nothing to hide. Josie asks to try things all the time.”
Dad shifted on his feet, shaking his head as he headed back toward the kitchen. “Y’all are gonna send me to an early fuckin’ grave.”
“I don’t either, but—” Bishop gestured around, his cheeks flushed “—there’s a time and a place.” Then he smacked the back of Lincoln’s head. “And don’t call me buddy, asshole.”
Lennox walked up to her fiancé and gripped his chin, forcing him to look at her. “If you take that stick outta your ass, I’ll do that thing you like so much,” she dropped her voice, “daddy.”
I groaned and waved my hands in the air. “Too far, Len. Too far!”
Lincoln, on the other hand, looked like a kid in a damn candy shop. “I always knew you were a kinky fucker.”
Bishop’s face was bright red at this point. He pointed his finger at Lincoln. “You’re gonna pay for that shit,” and then he looked down at Lennox with fire burning in his eyes. “And I’ll deal with you tonight.”
“Promises, promises,” she smirked, reaching up on her tiptoes to give him a chaste kiss.
Dad appeared in the doorway, cradling Stella to his chest. “Y’all better behave in front of my granddaughter, or I’m gonna have to kick your asses. Let’s get this sleepy girl home.”
I walked over, running my fingers along her cotton onesie. She still had that sweet newborn smell. It called to something deeply biological inside of me, and I ached for it. “Oh, don’t take her away just yet. I haven’t had my turn yet.”
I held out my hands, gently taking her from Dad and laying her against my chest. She wiggled in my hold and let out a soft coo that had everyone in the room melting. “Hi, sweet girl,” I whispered. “You’re getting so big.”
“Isn’t she?” I hadn’t heard Josie come up beside me. She peered over my shoulder at her daughter. “I can’t believe she’s already closing in on one month. It seems like just yesterday—”
Lincoln stepped up, covering Josie’s eyes. “Nope, none of that, or else you’re gonna start crying again. We’ve already had three tantrums before leaving the house, and only one of those was Stella’s.”
Josie turned in his hold, pushing at his chest. “I only cried once, you ass.” Lincoln stared at her, and she rolled her eyes. “Okay, twice, but calling them tantrums is a bit much.”
“Are you talking about my grandbaby?” Mom said. She had a glass of wine in one hand and a baby blanket in the other, which she shook at Lincoln. “Don’t you go forgetting this now.”
Lincoln grabbed it from her hold. “Oh, thank god. We wouldn’t have made it far without this.”
Lennox stepped up to my other side, resting her chin on my shoulder. She stared down at Stella like she was in love, and I couldn’t blame her. “My ovaries are literally aching right now,” she said, turning toward Bishop. “I want one.”
The frustration from her earlier antics was gone as he said, “Let’s get through the wedding first, killer.”
“You’re not getting any younger, old man. Gotta strike while the iron is hot and all that,” she teased, motioning down to his crotch.
“Lord, what did I do to deserve this cruel punishment?” Dad mumbled, sending everyone into a fit of giggles.
I could help but smile at how much love was in the room, and how lucky Stella was to be surrounded by it.
Watching my sister become a mother was surreal.
Because I was the oldest, I assumed I would be the first to have babies.
The first to explore motherhood in all its spit-up-covered glory, so if Josie and Lennox decided to walk the path, they wouldn’t have to do it alone.
But being here amidst all the happiness and jokes and future promises also reminded me I was painfully alone. I had no one to plan for the future with. Even if I did, it wouldn’t change the fact that motherhood was never going to be in the cards for me, no matter how much I wanted it to be.
Stella yawned and began kicking her little feet as I held her.
Small, frustrated grunts had her parents immediately tensing.
Before my sister could swoop in, Lincoln beat her to it.
He pulled the crying baby gently into his arms before giving Josie a stern look.
“I’ve got her,” he said, stepping forward to press a kiss to her head. “You have fun tonight, okay?”