Prologue
Elowyn
Three Years Old
I hold Braxton’s hand tightly as we walk into the living room of the big house full of people. It’s loud, and I’m scared. I don’t know any of them, and I just want to go home.
They put my mommy and daddy in the ground today. Planted them like flowers. I don’t know how long it will take them to grow back out of the ground, but I sure hope they hurry up. I miss them.
I tug on Braxton’s sleeve, and he looks down at me.
“I have to go potty,” I whisper.
“Okay. Hold it just a minute.”
He looks around, and when he spots our mommy’s sister, he calls to her, “Aunt Madeline. Elle needs to go to the bathroom. Where is it?”
She sets the platter she is holding down on the table and heads our way when a soft voice behind us speaks, “I’ll take her, dear. You can finish what you’re doing.”
I turn to see a lady with white hair and kind, crinkly blue eyes. She bends down to me.
“Hi, Elowyn. I’m Gram. I’ll show you the way,” she says as she offers me her hand.
I look up at Braxton in question, and he nods his head, telling me it’s okay to go with her.
“Go ahead, Elle. I’ll be right here where you left me, I promise.”
I look back at the lady as I let go of Braxton and take her hand. She smells like chocolate chip cookies, and her hand is warm and soft. She walks me behind the couch, through a hallway, and to a door. She opens it and turns the light on for me.
“Can you do it by yourself, sweetheart, or do you need help?” she asks.
“I can do it like a big girl, but Mommy has to help me wipe, sometimes,” I tell her.
She smiles down at me. “Then, we will do it together this time since you have on that pretty dress and those tights.”
She helps me go potty, and then she pulls a stool over to the sink, so I can stand on it and wash my hands all by myself.
We walk back out into the hallway, and I can hear all the loud voices from in the living room. I don’t want to go back in there.
“Do you want to see your new bedroom?” she asks.
“My room is at my house. I like it. I don’t want a new one.”
“Oh, darling girl, you are going to stay here with your aunt Madeline and uncle Jefferson and the rest of us for a while,” she explains.
I look up at her as my bottom lip starts to tremble. I’m trying to be a big girl, but I don’t understand why I can’t go home.
Gram pats my head, and she takes my hand and leads me back down the hall to another door.
When she opens it and turns on the light, I see my bed, rocking horse, and stuffed animals from my house. The covers are strange, and the walls are a different color.
Why are my things here?
I start to cry, and she bends down and picks me up.
“Oh, Elowyn, sweetheart, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. Do you not like it?” she asks softly.
“I want my mommy.” I sniffle into her shoulder.
“I know, baby girl, but your mommy and daddy are with Jesus in heaven now,” she explains. She rubs circles on my back and sits down on the bed.
“They planted them in the ground. They’ll grow back.” I hiccup.
She leans me up and uses her thumbs to wipe the tears from under my eyes.
“No, sweetie, that’s not how it works. They are not in those boxes.
That’s just something we do to honor them.
Their souls have gone to heaven to be with our Lord.
And you will see them again one day, but it’s not going to be for a while.
Until then, they have loaned you and Braxton to your aunt Madeline and uncle Jefferson and me and Pop too.
We are so happy to have you both here with us at Rustic Peak.
It’s been a while since we’ve had little ones underfoot on this ranch. ”
“How long will they be?” I ask.
I don’t want them to stay in heaven.
“Oh, for a bit, but every time you are outside and you feel the breeze float past you, that’s your mommy wrapping her arms around you and giving you a hug, letting you know that she will always be with you. Every day. Right here,” she says as she taps my chest.
I raise my finger and tap the same spot. “Right here?”
“Yes, ma’am, right there in your heart. Your mommy and daddy will always be there.”
I pull the collar of my dress out and look down at the place she said is my heart. “I don’t see it.”
“It’s there. You don’t have to see your heart to know you have one. Here, feel this.” She takes my hand and holds it on her chest. “You feel that thump, thump, thump?” she asks.
I nod my head. “I feel it!” I say in astonishment.
“That’s my heart beating. Yours beats too. You can’t see it, but it’s always there, and your mommy and daddy are always there, too, even though you can’t see them anymore.”
“Are you my grandma now?”
“I sure am, and you and I are going to be great friends,” she says with a smile.
I like her very much.
“Elle!” Braxton’s frantic voice yells down the hallway.
“We’re in here, Braxton,” Gram responds.
He busts through the door and flies toward us. “Are you okay? Was she crying?” he asks as he picks me up from her lap and starts to pace the room.
“She was, but she’s better now. Aren’t you, Elle?”
I smile at her and nod.
Braxton pulls me in for a really firm hug, and I can’t breathe.
I wiggle until he lets go.
He pulls back and looks down at me. “Don’t be scared, Elle. I promise I’ll always take care of you and keep you safe. Forever and ever. That’s what big brothers are for.”
I squeeze his neck tight.
I know he will. He’s going to keep us both safe until we are in heaven with Mommy and Daddy.
“I love you,” he whispers into my hair as he rocks me back and forth.
“I love you the mostest,” I whisper back.
He’s the best big brother ever.