Chapter 15
Why couldn’t I have had sisters instead of brothers?
Miles
I grab my rabbit’s foot from the passenger seat before folding out of my car. I stare at Eli’s house as I walk up the driveway. It’s easy to forget he’s a billionaire when we’re working at the distillery. But, at his mansion, his wealth is undeniable.
I don’t need wealth. Hell, I was happy with my surf shack being an actual shack until a hurricane came along and blew it over. Eli insisted on building a more ‘substantial’ structure. I wasn’t going to stop him.
I greet my brothers with a wave when I enter. It appears I’m the last person to arrive, which isn’t unusual since I hate being on time. Kai used to be worse than me until he fell in love with Harper. Now, he’s Mr. Punctual. Annoying.
Zane smiles at Kai. “You owe me.”
Kai slaps a bill in his hand. “I’m disappointed in you, Miles.”
“In me?” I tap my chest. “What did I do?”
“It’s what you didn’t do. I assumed you’d spend another night serenading Hazel. You’re never going to win her back if you’re here playing poker with us.”
“Poker night is mandatory for all Raider brothers.”
I’m not making this rule up. Our monthly poker nights are mandatory.
The only exceptions are – your partner is having a baby, or you’re in the hospital.
Being sick is not sufficient. Especially since Eli’s house has enough bathrooms to allow us each to have our own.
Trust me. It’s been necessary in the past.
Jaxon clears his throat. “I should make a rule. During the wooing phase of seduction, a Raider brother can skip poker.”
Since Jaxon has a hard time feeling he’s part of the group, Rhett and Eli came up with the idea of allowing him to make one arbitrary rule per poker night.
Rhett grunts. “No fair. Miles is the only Raider brother still in the wooing phase.”
“Plus, you’re no longer allowed to make poker rules,” Eli adds.
Jaxon frowns. “I’m not?”
“Not since the last time you made a rule and Zane ended up beyond wasted. He peed in the azaleas. Paisley’s still mad at me.”
Zane’s nose wrinkles. “I don’t remember peeing in the azaleas.”
I chuckle. “You were pretty drunk.”
He scowls. “I had to drink a shot of moonshine every time I mentioned my daughter. Which was bullshit.”
“You say bullshit, I say hilarious.”
Zane found out literally minutes before the poker game that Adele was his biological daughter. He was beaming with happiness. Naturally, we couldn’t allow his happiness to go unpunished.
“Speaking of moonshine.” Eli indicates the shots lined up at the bar.
I hold up my hands. “No moonshine for me. I’m on a strict beer diet tonight.”
Jaxon pushes his glasses up his nose. “Does this have anything to do with Hazel?”
Rhett slaps him on the back. “Of course, this has something to do with Hazel.”
“How?” Jaxon asks me.
I don’t bother hesitating. My brothers will get the information out of me eventually anyway. And I have no desire to spend tomorrow hungover or picking glitter out of my underwear. Trust me. No man wants the man next to him at the urinals to start sprouting glitter.
“Hazel thinks I only want her when I’m drinking.”
Eli narrows his eyes on me. “Do you?”
“Do I what?”
“Only want her when you’re drinking? You’ve been home from Hawaii for six years and haven’t made any moves to win her back in all this time.”
Because I’ve been a fucking idiot who thought that when I finally figured out my life, Hazel would be there waiting for me.
Zane barks out a laugh. “Except he follows her around like a puppy dog whenever she’s in the same room as him.”
“And chases her when she runs away,” Kai adds.
“And don’t forget the times he managed to con her back into his bed,” Rhett says.
I scowl. “I’ve never conned Hazel in my life.”
He lifts an eyebrow. “You have sex with her every few months and then disappear from her life. Pretty sure that’s the definition of conning.”
“I don’t disappear from her life.”
“Really? You don’t avoid her for a few weeks before starting this whole cycle back up again?”
Jaxon fiddles with his glasses. “Convincing Hazel to give you another chance is not going to be easy. We should brainstorm some ideas.”
“I don’t need my brothers to help me come up with ideas.”
Rhett crosses his arms over his chest. “You don’t? You’ve already figured out a way to win Hazel back?”
No. But I know better than to follow any advice they give me. Their advice will be designed to humiliate me. Not help me. It’s the same thing I’d do if I was in their position.
“I have an idea,” Jaxon says.
“I told you. I don’t need your ideas.”
He ignores me and continues. “It sounds as if you’re using Hazel.”
I growl. “I’m not using her.”
He holds up a hand. “I didn’t say you were. I said it sounds as if you are.”
“What’s your point?”
“You should tell her no sex.”
“Hypocrite,” Rhett coughs.
“I admit I had sex with Blossom when our marriage was fake. But we’re not discussing me. We’re discussing Miles.”
“Why are we discussing my love life anyway?” I ask the room.
Kai chuckles. “I think you mean your life of celibacy.”
Zane laughs before high-fiving him.
I glare at them. “Are we going to play poker or stand around and gossip like old women all night?”
“Old men enjoy gossiping as well,” Rhett says.
“Whatever. Are we playing poker or not?”
Eli slaps my back. “I’m happy to take your money any day.”
“I’m not the brother who always loses at poker.” I point to Zane.
“I lost on purpose but not anymore.” He rubs his hands together. “Now Daddy needs a new rocking chair.”
Eli leads us down the hallway to the game room.
If the size of the house didn’t give away how much money my big brother has, this room would.
It’s decorated like a magazine spread with leather couches for watching football games, a gleaming wooden bar stocked with every liquor you can imagine, and a television larger than anything I’ve ever seen in a private house before.
We make our way to the poker table in the middle of the room next to the pool table and take our seats. Everyone sets their lucky charm down on the table in front of them. A lucky charm is another one of the ‘requirements’ for poker night.
“When are the rest of you going to get normal lucky charms?”
“What do you mean?” Kai asks. “Mr. Crisp is a perfectly normal lucky charm.”
“Except he’s a pickle in a jar you’re convinced can talk to you.”
He rolls his eyes. “He doesn’t talk to me. He gives me vibes I interpret.”
Eli walks to the bar to get everyone's drinks. Rhett sets his good luck charm – one bowling shoe, since he lost the other one – down before picking up the deck of cards and inspecting it.
“Whatcha doing?” Kai asks in a voice he thinks sounds innocent. It doesn’t. Not since every brother in this room knows he’s the farthest thing from innocent.
Rhett glares at him. “Making sure this deck isn’t oozing with maple syrup or honey or whatever sticky material you prefer.”
“It’s a new deck.”
“It’s always a new deck.” Considering the amount of pranks we play on each other, using a new deck every poker night is a necessity.
“You’re good,” Eli says as he returns with several beers. “I got this deck out of my safe before everyone arrived.”
“Wonderful.” Jaxon rubs his hands together. “The Green King and I are ready to win.”
The Green King is his lucky charm. It’s a Chia Pet, he claims resembles Elvis. It doesn’t. It’s a lump.
“Too bad Nugget and I are going to kick your ass.” Zane rubs a hand over the back of his taxidermized squirrel in a cowboy hat. Told you my brothers have weird ass good luck charms.
Rhett finishes dealing and it quiets down while everyone studies their cards. Time to play some poker.
“I fold.” The cards have not been my friends tonight. I’ve lost the last three rounds.
Kai chuckles. “Pretty sure you already folded when you threw your cards at Eli’s face the previous go-around.”
“He shouldn’t have snapped those freaky fake teeth at me.” I shiver. Eli’s good luck charm of fake teeth freaks me out. He used to chase us around the house with them when we were kids. I had nightmares about those teeth.
“I win this round.” Jaxon lays his cards on the table.
“How the hell do you have a straight flush?” Rhett asks.
Jaxon shrugs as he draws all the poker chips to him and begins sorting them. I frown at the amount of chips he has compared to me. Tonight is not my night.
Rhett deals another round of cards and I bite my tongue to stop my groan at my cards. Time for desperate measures.
I inch my phone out of my pocket and wake it. After Eli and Rhett have their turns, I increase the sound and hit the app.
Chirp! Chirp! Chirp! Chirp!
Eli jumps to his feet. “Smoke alarm. Everyone out.”
Everyone grabs their beers and lucky charms before filing out of the room to the front exit. Once we’re on the porch with Paisley, who’s holding baby Stephanie, Eli phones his security company to let them know about the alarm.
I wait until he hangs up the phone and jump off the porch. “You’ve been pranked!” I yell before sprinting to my car. Zane and Kai give chase but with my headstart I easily beat them to my car.
I fold into the driver’s seat and back out of the drive while rolling down the window.
“I’m winning the prank war!” I yell before driving away.