Chapter 5
5
I f looks could kill, I’d be dead right now. The blazing anger in Blair’s eyes penetrates into my chest, and my heart slams against my ribcage. Blair always looks a little intimidating, with her blunt bangs, razor-sharp eyeliner, and general “don’t fuck with me” aesthetic, but this is far beyond that. She’s furious, her jaw clenched so tight I can see the muscles in her neck flexing. I have the ridiculous urge to run out of the room. Or maybe I’m the only sane person here. Because I know what she is and she’s staring at me like she’s out for blood.
Beside me, apparently oblivious to this entire terrifying encounter, Mona raises her hand and gives Blair a little wave. The effect is instantaneous. Blair’s eyes snap from mine over to Mona, and any trace of her scorn vanishes. Her lips quirk for a moment before her cool mask slides into place and she walks back over to the bound man.
What the fuck was that about?
All the strange, throbbing awareness that’d been building between my thighs as I watched the demonstration is replaced by hot embarrassment. It’s good that no one is looking at me right now, because I’m sure my entire face has turned beet red.
I should’ve stayed home.
I already feel supremely out of place. Mona failed to mention that the unspoken dress code at The Vault was black and red. I swear the bouncer did a double take when my barbie ass walked into the lobby. I guess I should’ve known that cute, pink, and sparkly doesn’t match the vibe of a kink club, but I’d already picked this outfit out for my date.
That on its own I could’ve handled. Seeing the guy who canceled my date put on display and bound in rope while everyone can see the outline of his throbbing cock? That made things significantly worse.
I would’ve stormed out of the room, but didn’t want to make a scene, so I swallowed down my indignance for the sake of my friends. Though, I’m not sure now if I can even call Blair that.
Why was she so upset about seeing me? Yeah, it’s been a while since we’ve hung out, but I thought it was because she’s busy with work and I’m busy being in pain. Was she avoiding me?
Sick dread washes over me in waves as the past few months rearrange themselves in my mind: Blair not coming to game night anymore because her work schedule shifted; Me inviting Blair out for drinks at Nightlight, and her never able to make it.
I stopped reaching out because I had a pain flare up and then kept meaning to set something up when I was feeling better, but forgot. Now that I think about it, she hasn’t texted me at all since I asked if she wanted to come over and have a singles pity party with me when I was alone and sad on Valentine’s Day.
That was four months ago.
Jesus, I’m oblivious. My ADHD makes it easy to forget about staying in touch with friends, but this is beyond that. This is her clearly not wanting anything to do with me.
And here I am, front row at her kink club demonstration. Fuck. No wonder she was so pissed.
“What did you think?” Mona asks, poking me in the side with her elbow and snapping me back to the present.
“I need to go.”
Her brows shoot up in alarm. “What? Why? Don’t you at least want to say hello to Blair?”
I let out a weird sound somewhere between a laugh and a whine. “You’re joking.”
Mona frowns and touches my arm. “Listen, I respect if the demo wasn’t your thing, and I know it’s probably a little awkward to see a friend in a kink setting like this. But it’s not a big deal! She’s still just our Blair.”
Our Blair? She’s not my anything, apparently.
Mona tugs on my arm, trying to lead me over to where Blair is coiling up her rope and talking to Isaac. I attempt to root myself to the spot, but she’s surprisingly strong and I have to stumble forward to not fall flat on my face.
“I can’t!” I hiss, pulling away from her grip.
It’s too late. Blair looks up and there’s a flicker of that heat again in her eyes when she sees me, but it’s gone so fast I almost think I’ve imagined it. If I try to leave without saying anything to her, I’ll be the asshole. Nevermind that she’s the one who friendship ghosted me for no reason .
This must be retribution for when I asked Mona’s now partner Max why he was staring at her from across the bar. Or for all the times I pushed Mona to have some fun. It’s a terrible feeling. Crap, now I feel like a reject and a shitty person for putting Mona through that.
“Hey Bella! That was amazing, as always!” Mona says, tugging Blair’s petite form into a gentle hug. Blair stiffens almost imperceptibly as Mona wraps her arms around her, but the tension melts a second later. Her eyes fall closed and a look of peace I’ve never seen before fills her face. Mona’s hugs are the best, but this goes beyond that.
Holy crap. Does Blair like Mona? Could that explain why she distanced herself from me? She didn’t want anyone in the way between her and her unrequited crush? But I’m no threat. I love Mona like a sister. Max is who she should be worried about.
Wait, what did Mona call her?
“Bella?” I ask aloud, and flush when all three sets of eyes land on me.
It takes a second to register the way Isaac gapes at me, just now realizing I’m here and he’s been caught ditching our date to be with Blair. Or Bella, I guess.
“Grace!”
Both Mona and I look at Isaac at his exclamation, who drops his hands to cover his crotch. Mona turns back to me, eyes wide. “Oh shit. I forgot to tell you.”
“Tell me what?” Please don’t make this night any worse.
“When we’re here, we use pseudonyms. So she’s Bella,” Mona says, gesturing to Blair. “And uh, I’m, um…”
“Grace,” Blair finishes for her, an amused half-smile twisting her lips.
Hearing my name in Blair’s husky drawl for the first time in months sends a shiver down my spine. It takes me a moment to understand she’s not talking to me.
“You used your friend’s name for your kink name?” Isaac asks, drawing my focus back to the conversation.
“Wait, what ?” I turn to face Mona, who has a flush spreading all the way down her neck to her chest.
“I didn’t do it on purpose! I needed one, and I panicked. Then everyone knew me as that, so I left it. I’m sorry!”
God, I wish I really had died when Blair glared at me before.
“It looks like you’re already acquainted with Thumper,” Blair says calmly, her eyes darting between us before focusing back on me.
What kind of name is Thumper? I frown and look at the mostly naked barista. As this conversation goes on, it becomes less and less likely I’ll ever be getting another lavender honey latte from him.
Is it sad that I’m more upset about that than I am about him canceling our date?
You know what, who cares? He’s a shitty person. I don’t give a fuck that he ditched me for getting tied up by Blair. I don’t care that Blair ghosted our friendship, either.
I don’t!
I put on my best fake smile. “It’s been a while, Bella. I guess you’ve been busy with… Thumper.”
I should stop there, but I don’t. Anger bubbles up inside me. “I get it. She’s a great friend if you manage to get her to text you back. Would’ve been nice to know the two of you were together before he agreed to go on a date with me.”
Fuck, I guess I do care.
Stunned silence follows my vitriol-laced words. And with that, my utter humiliation tonight is complete. “Hope you have a good rest of your night. I’ll get a rideshare home, Grace . ”
Mona looks stricken, and I internally wince. She doesn’t deserve any bitchiness, but I’m too embarrassed to keep my temper in check.
I turn to walk away, but freeze in place when Blair speaks.
“No.”
I glare back at the stern-faced vampire. A cold flame of an emotion I don’t understand flickers behind her eyes and my heart leaps in my chest—wanting to run away at the same time I want to bare my neck to her. “N-no?”
“No, you’re not calling a ride home. No, I’m not with Thumper. I wouldn’t have asked him for a favor if I knew he had plans with anyone.” She turns and levels her icy stare at him. “You’ll need to find a new rigger. Our arrangement is done.”
Isaac, or Thumper, sputters, his cheeks flooded with embarrassment. “Mistress, please, it was just a misunderstanding.” He turns and looks at me. “I’m so sorry, Grace. I thought it would be okay. What I have with Mistress Bella isn’t sexual.”
I scoff. “Your boner earlier would suggest otherwise.” God, why do I have such abysmal taste in men?
He opens his mouth to reply, but Blair interrupts him. “You can go.” His expression falls, but he doesn’t argue, standing and walking away, his posture laced with dejection and shame.
Good riddance.
“He’s the guy you were supposed to go out with?” Mona frowns and I nod. A moment later, recognition flashes across her face. “Wait, he works at Cafe Celia’s, doesn’t he? Fuck, what about your lattes?”The amount of legitimate devastation on my behalf in her voice makes some of my anger crumble away.
“Guess that’s why you never mix business with pleasure,” I say wryly, shaking my head.
My amusement fades when I turn back to Blair. I swallow hard, trying to keep my tone even. “Is there a reason you didn’t tell me we were done being friends? I think I would’ve preferred the finality of a dismissal like you just did to Isaac, if I’m being honest.”
A rare furrow forms on Blair’s brow. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
I’d think she was gaslighting me, but she looks genuinely confused.
My brain decides that I’m going to compensate for her calm, measured reply with incoherent babbling. “You were so angry and… Why don’t you come to game night? You never wanted to hang out. I texted, and you blew me off, so I stopped. Why did you glare at me like that? I didn’t do anything wrong. I’m allowed to be here!”
I jab a finger at Blair accusatorially, but Mona snatches my hand out of the air before it pokes her in the chest. “Whoa, none of that.” She says it like I’m a petulant child throwing a tantrum.
Which, fuck, maybe that’s what I’m acting like. I cringe at my behavior and drop my eyes to the floor.
Mona touches my shoulder lightly. “I’m going to go to the bathroom. Let you two talk for a bit.”
A surge of alarm pulses through me, and I want to beg her to stay. Again, I’m acting like a baby. Calm down and talk to Blair like a logical adult. I take a deep inhale as Mona walks away, working up the courage to look at the vampire.
“I’m sorry, Grace.”
My eyes flash up to meet Blair’s, stunned. “What?”
Blair’s lips downturn slightly and she shifts in place, looking almost as uncomfortable as she did the night I found out she’s a vampire. “I’m sorry. I’ve been really busy with work, but I should’ve checked in.”
“Oh.” It’s hard to stay mad with such a direct, sincere reply. Or at least I think that until she continues, her voice tinged with uncharacteristic vulnerability. “I didn’t know you cared.”
What the hell is that supposed to mean? What did I do to make her think otherwise?
I suppress my scowl as best I can, but I can’t fully keep a frown off my face. “Why wouldn’t I care? We were hanging out all the time last year and then suddenly you were too busy. It sucked.”
I hadn’t processed that not seeing Blair had bothered me until I came here tonight. I didn’t let myself think anything of it, because I didn’t want to add another thing to the pile of shitty things going on in my life. It’s like seeing her again tore the invisible wound open and now I can’t stop gushing my feelings out like my lifeblood.
She nods solemnly. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have done that. If it helps at all, it’s a fairly new concept to me.”
“Someone caring about you?” I ask flippantly.
“Yes.”
The unflinching honesty on her face knocks me back.
“Well, get used to it. I care about you! Mona cares, too.” I cross my arms under my chest so I won’t reach out and hug her. I have a feeling that wouldn’t go well, even though I’m desperate to show her some affection after her admission. “That’s what it means to be friends,” I say with a teasing smile.
“Right. I’ll do better.” I almost miss the way her jaw clenches before she smiles at me because of how stunningly beautiful it makes her look.
Despite her smile, the air is still charged between us. It feels like I’ve missed something important. That while she apologized, I’m the one who screwed up.
Mona returns before I can stew in the discomfort from my lack of understanding for too long. “Well? Everything alright?” she asks, placing a hand on her hip .
Blair nods.
“Yeah. We’re good,” I say, even though I can’t help worrying that’s not true. I shake it off and melodramatically frown at Mona. “Can’t say the same for us though, Grace .”
She groans. “I’m sorry! I panicked! You can use my name as revenge if you want.”
I laugh and shake my head, patting her shoulder. “That defeats the purpose of using a kink name, doesn’t it? Besides, I want something cooler than Mona,” I say, sticking my tongue out at her.
“Hey!” She smacks my arm lightly.
Blair laughs, and the sound makes strange butterflies kick up in my stomach. Relief that things might actually be okay between us, no doubt.
“Seriously, though, you need a name, even if you never come back after tonight,” Mona says. She taps her chin, thinking. “What about Barbie?”
I roll my eyes. “Too on the nose.”
“Sunny? Pinkie?”
“Now I understand why you couldn’t come up with a name for yourself,” I say, shaking my head at Mona’s suggestion.
“Rose.” Blair says the name decisively, and a warm, bubbling sensation spreads inside me.
“I like it!” Mona exclaims.
I’m blushing, and it only gets worse when Blair cocks a questioning brow at me. “Uh, yeah. That works.”
“Well, Rose .” The name from Blair’s lips is an intimate caress that makes me want to melt on the spot from how much my cheeks flame. “Why don’t we show you around?”
I nod, unable to untie my tongue enough to reply