Afterglow

Chapter 27

Briar

‘Ally,’ Briar groaned, leaning her head against the car window, sure the cool glass was the only thing saving her from heatstroke, ‘it’s too hot to have sex.’

Alice laughed as she sped down the highway. ‘Who says you’re getting any?’

‘But it’s my birthday,’ Briar grumbled. She didn’t mention that it was Alice’s last day. They’d successfully avoided discussing her flight the next morning, though it left a weight in Briar’s stomach.

Alice tutted. ‘There’s still work to do on the house.’ She reached over and grabbed Briar’s hand, giving it a squeeze. ‘I’ll take you out for ice cream afterwards.’

‘Oh, boy,’ Briar deadpanned. She’d been in a foul mood since the tour. Sonny had been true to his word, and Briar was getting inundated with calls from Mr. Lavish, trying to discuss the offer.

She had spent the last week feeling like she was nursing the worst hangover of her life: bleary-eyed, often nauseous and plagued by an aching sense of dread that wrapped itself around her chest and squeezed tighter with each passing day.

It had been a relief when Alice had finally taken pity on Briar by suggesting a drive. Briar had assumed they were going to her mom’s house. The to-do list taunted her from the office bulletin board, so if she was in for a day of manual labor, it wouldn’t be the worst thing.

Alice pulled into the driveway, and they climbed out of the car. As Briar squinted at the monstrosity that had eaten away at all her free time for the summer, she couldn’t help but think it didn’t look anywhere near as bad as she remembered.

She followed Alice up the porch stairs, in through the front door, and—

‘Surprise!!!’

Looking out at a sea of people, she couldn’t fully comprehend what was happening, even as she read the banner with Happy Birthday, Briar in bold letters.

Alice pushed her into the crowd, where Noah immediately enveloped her in a bear hug.

‘Oh, we soooo got you,’ he said with a booming laugh.

‘Rafa? Zach? Oh my god, Sonya?’ Briar pulled her high school friends into hugs. ‘What are you guys doing here?’

‘Alice texted us,’ Sonya said, with a look that said she had been as surprised to get that text as Briar was to see her there. ‘We wanted to come. We love you, man.’

‘Totally,’ Rafa said, slinging an arm around her. ‘You’re the best.’ He planted a wet kiss on her forehead.

‘Sorry,’ Zach said, freeing Briar. ‘He hit the punch a little too hard. Just like sophomore year homecoming.’

‘Alice,’ Sonya called. ‘Get over here! It’s so good to see you.’

Alice smiled at her and then, after a moment’s beat, brought her arms up for a hug. It was so awkward and endearing that Briar almost cried.

‘We’ll be right back,’ Alice said to them. ‘Sorry, I’ve just got one more surprise for Briar.’ She grabbed Briar’s hand, leading her into the kitchen.

‘Briar!’ Hazel and Laurel immediately pounced on her, and Briar spotted RJ and her dad leaning against the kitchen counter behind them.

‘Oh my god,’ she said, swiping at the tears that were suddenly spilling onto her cheeks. ‘I can’t believe you’re here.’

‘We wouldn’t miss your birthday,’ Laurel said.

‘Or the camping trip,’ Hazel added. ‘Dad and RJ are coming too.’

It was a tradition their mother had started when they’d aged out of camp.

No matter what summer plans they’d had, the Elwood siblings were to report during the second week of August for a camping trip to the nearby lake.

Briar hadn’t been planning on continuing with it this year, assuming it would be too painful for everyone.

‘We want to scatter mom’s ashes at the lake,’ Laurel said.

‘I took the whole week off,’ RJ said. ‘So I can help with anything else you need.’

She was surprised and touched that her siblings had coordinated the end-of-summer trip without her. Her mom’s ashes were just another thing that she had been putting off thinking about until camp had ended, and it was a relief to have a plan made for her.

Briar put a hand to her heart, feigning shock. ‘But won’t the stock market collapse without you?’

‘Ha,’ he replied, unamused, and the twins quickly hopped on the ribbing-RJ-about-his-job train, the conversation devolving into nonsense.

She avoided her father’s questioning gaze as the twins switched subjects to recount their travels.

Briar didn’t want to give him the opportunity to bring up the estate and ruin her good mood.

Her birthday had always been the one day a year when Briar could be selfish, and she was glad Alice had given her the opportunity to do so.

At some point, Alice and Noah pulled her away to give her the full tour, walking her through each room to show off everything they had done.

A warm feeling settled in Briar watching Alice in her mom’s home – the house that had caused Briar so much stress was finally what her mother had always dreamed of, thanks to Alice.

‘Briar,’ her dad called out as they walked back to the kitchen. She groaned and leaned into Alice, any of the goodwill she’d developed for her dad in the last few hours evaporating immediately at his tone.

‘If I give the signal,’ she whispered in her ear, ‘get me the hell away from him.’

She turned to her dad and RJ. ‘What’s up?’

‘Mr. Lavish gave me a call,’ her father said, arms crossed. She sensed that she was meant to be contrite. ‘He says you’ve been hard to reach.’

Briar nodded. ‘Yeah, it’s closing week. I haven’t been in the office much. And you’ve seen the state of the landline, it’s a wonder calls go through at all. Right, RJ?’ She looked to her brother for support.

‘Bri,’ RJ said gently, ‘I get that it’s been a lot. And I should’ve been more involved, but legally, it’s up to you to make this sale happen. I mean, you do still want to sell the camp, right?’

Briar huffed out a laugh. ‘As you’ve both explained, it would be irresponsible for me to keep it.’

Her father put what she assumed was meant to be a comforting hand on her shoulder, but the constricting feeling in her chest was back. ‘We’re not trying to force you into anything.’

‘No, of course not,’ Briar said, shrugging him off. ‘You’re just telling me exactly what to do.’

‘Look,’ RJ said, seeming to realize their dad wasn’t getting anywhere, ‘I don’t want to watch you sacrifice everything for someone who isn’t here anymore.’

Briar had never heard her usually stoic brother express concern for her before. ‘I didn’t know that was how you felt.’

‘It is,’ RJ said firmly. ‘Look, my therapist says I need to be more direct, so here goes.’ He took a deep breath.

‘I know I said it was just about the money, but it’s not.

I figured it’d be easier for you, if you were doing it for me and the twins.

But really, I want you to give it up for you. Please.’

The fight drained out of her at the look on her brother’s face.

Thinking about how the twins had planned the annual camping trip, how RJ and her dad had discussed selling the camp, she realized how far removed they were from the time when things would have fallen apart if Briar hadn’t been dedicating everything to keeping her siblings on track.

In a way, running the camp had been just another thing on the long list of responsibilities that had transferred from her mom to her over the years.

And Briar knew now that she could figure out something else, something better, to do with her time than to shoulder another person’s legacy.

Even if she didn’t know what that was yet.

‘Okay.’

‘Okay?’ her father asked, and Briar nodded.

‘I’ll sell it.’ She looked around for Alice and met her gaze. ‘I’ll call Mr. Lavish back tomorrow.’

Alice was at her side the next moment. ‘Sorry to interrupt, but I need Briar’s help in the basement.’

They descended the rickety stairs, and Briar was immediately grateful that Alice’s excuse had brought them somewhere cooler. The unfinished basement was still a little dingy, housing her mom’s old potting bench, a few storage boxes and an auxiliary fridge.

‘Are you alright?’ Alice asked.

Briar turned into Alice, nuzzling her neck. The sensation of her skin against Briar’s was the only thing drowning out the panic and relief fighting inside her.

Alice’s arms wrapped around her. ‘How did that go?’

Briar hummed in a way she hoped conveyed her unwillingness to talk about it. Instead, she kissed Alice, crowding her against the bench and hoisting her onto it.

‘At your birthday party?’ Alice teased, already pulling Briar closer.

‘It is my party,’ Briar said, ghosting her hands up Alice’s thighs.

Alice’s reply was lost as Briar kissed the spot on her neck that always made her breathless.

‘It would be…’ – Alice carded her fingers into Briar’s hair – ‘…irresponsible to hook up here.’

‘Totally,’ Briar said, popping open the top button of Alice’s shirt. She ducked her head to suck at her exposed collarbone.

‘Everyone’s upstairs,’ Alice gasped, as Briar’s hand snuck into the front of her shorts, tracing the lace edge of her panties.

‘We will definitely be missed,’ Briar agreed, breathing out hard as her hand crept even lower. Alice gripped her shoulders.

Briar pushed her lips hard against Alice’s to stifle the moan she knew was coming.

Like a splash of ice-cold water, the lights in the basement flicked on and loud creaking footsteps came down the stairs.

‘Blimey.’

‘Woah.’

Briar froze, instantly knowing that voice.

‘Noah,’ she said slowly, turning. He stood halfway down the stairs, Freddie just behind him. The look on his face was inscrutable, his mouth pulled into a tight line.

Briar wasn’t sure how long they stood there before Freddie cleared his throat uncomfortably. ‘What’s that, Sierra?’ he called weakly before bolting up the stairs.

‘Well,’ Alice said, shifting uncomfortably, ‘this is unfortunate.’ She winced at her own words and Briar blew out a long breath, waiting for Noah to say something.

‘How long has this been going on?’ Noah asked, reaching the bottom of the stairs. He wasn’t looking at Briar, but over her shoulder at Alice.

‘Since the Fourth of July,’ Alice said. Briar glanced between them, feeling like she was once again watching Alice and Noah’s relationship from the outside. ‘But it’s casual.’

Hearing Alice say those words hurt Briar more than she’d expected.

It didn’t matter that she’d been the one to insist they didn’t tell anyone, that she had wanted it to be casual in the first place.

A part of herself she hadn’t recognized until now had hoped she wasn’t the only one getting lost in this thing between them.

The words were a helpful reminder of what they actually were to each other.

Of course logical, unflappable Alice felt exactly what Briar had asked her to feel.

She had thought she was doing things differently this time, but they had ended up in the exact same place.

And it would end the exact same way: Alice gone, and her heartbroken.

‘Casual,’ Noah repeated. ‘If it’s casual, why didn’t you tell me?’

Alice glanced at Briar. ‘I—’

‘We didn’t want you to be mad,’ Briar said, stepping between them. If she and Alice would never see each other again after tonight, preserving her friendship with Noah had to be her priority.

Noah shot her a quizzical look. ‘Mad? Why would I be mad?’

‘Your ex and your best friend…’ Briar trailed off at the look on his face.

He snorted and shook his head. ‘My best friend finding someone to support her through the toughest time in her life? Oh yeah, I’m pissed.’

‘It would be okay if you were,’ Briar said.

‘I’m not,’ Noah said. ‘Honestly, did you guys really think I would care? High school was like a million years ago. I love you, and I want what’s best for you. Always. Even if it’s Alice.’ He looked at Alice. ‘Especially if it’s Alice.’

Briar refused to cry. Instead, she hugged Noah, tucking her head into his neck as he wrapped his arms around her. ‘Thank you.’

‘I’m gonna go up,’ Alice said awkwardly, already headed for the stairs. ‘Someone should make sure Freddie’s still breathing.’

Noah pulled a six-pack of beer from the fridge, which Briar assumed was why he and Freddie were in the basement in the first place. He tossed her a can.

‘So… you and Alice,’ he said, eyeing her. Briar popped her beer open, leaning against the gardening bench and hoping she looked nonchalant. ‘Casual.’

‘So casual,’ Briar repeated.

‘Uh huh.’

They stared at each other for a long time, not blinking. Briar caved first. ‘Okay, maybe not so casual for some of us.’

Noah snorted. ‘No kidding.’ He messed with the tab of the beer can, and Briar could tell he was gearing up for a lecture. ‘This started before the Fourth, didn’t it?’

Briar swallowed hard. ‘Um… I don’t know how to answer that.’

‘I mean, it started back in high school, right?’ Noah asked, raising his eyebrows.

Briar squeezed her eyes shut. ‘For me, at least, yeah.’

She didn’t know what she had expected from Noah, but he just nodded thoughtfully, as though he’d figured out the riff of a particularly complicated song.

‘I think I kinda knew,’ he said. ‘I mean, we were friends before, but that fall semester freshman year, I feel like I got to know the real you. And having someone who was going through the same thing was nice. It was the same, right?’ He watched Briar’s face carefully, and whatever expression she made he must have read as confirmation.

‘You lost her like I did. Loved her like I did, didn’t you? ’

Briar could only choke out, ‘Noah, I’m so sorry. I should’ve told you. I don’t know why I didn’t.’

‘I wish you had.’

‘There’s one more thing…’ Briar hesitated, not sure how much to share, but not wanting to keep secrets anymore. ‘Alice leaving was my fault. We kissed at the end of camp. That’s why she left, because she couldn’t handle that she had cheated on you.’

After years of thinking about that night, of making sure no one else would ever know, telling Noah felt unnatural. But once she had, she knew it was something she’d needed off her chest.

‘Do you want me to be mad about that?’ Noah asked, sizing her up. ‘Do you think you deserve it?’

‘Yes.’

‘Well, I’m not going to be,’ Noah said. ‘It was forever ago. I’m getting married to the woman I love. And my best friend in the whole world is going to be standing up there with me.’

‘Okay,’ Briar said, amazed that he could just brush it off. Like that one moment hadn’t completely changed her life, like she hadn’t held onto it for years and years. He made forgiveness seem so simple.

‘Now,’ Noah said, grabbing the pack of beer, ‘let’s get back to the party, birthday girl.’

Briar followed him up the stairs, nearly running into him when he paused just before the basement door. He turned to look at her over his shoulder.

‘Does she know?’ he asked.

‘Know what?’

‘That you love her?’

‘Oh,’ Briar said, looking down. ‘No.’

‘Maybe you should tell her,’ he said.

‘It won’t change anything.’

‘It might.’

Briar didn’t have the heart to tell him he was wrong.