Chapter 10 #7
"But –" The word punched out of Elethenn in abayan, startled and pained.
One of Elethenn's hands flew to the centre of his chest, pressing hard against his sternum, his expression brittle, almost wounded.
"You cannot mean that. You cannot. Araxis – skoshas must be exiled.
I cannot return to Xitera. And – why would you wish –"
Araxis blinked once, placid. "I reject the authority the Concord claims," he said, his tone firm but soft.
"It is my right to offer for any I feel would be an asset to Creche Thiel, regardless of their gender.
And I should be pleased to have another sinnenthi here to provide protection.
If that is inaccurate, I would still be pleased to have you as you are. "
There was one moment of quiet as Araxis's words seemed to wash over Elethenn; I could see it on his face, in the flash of something like pain, like tenderness, in the stuttered breath, the minute quiver of his chin.
And when he opened his mouth, the string of words that spilled from Elethenn had the familiarity of a prayer, a lament, a confession and I realized, as I listened, that I recognized at least some of them.
It was a variation of what I'd said on the sands when I'd declared myself for Araxis, although Elethenn declared himself for the creche: it was a dedication to Creche Thiel, not to a single person, but it still made a smile break across my face – even though smiling hurt.
Araxis stood and moved to sit by Elethenn's side.
He reached and took one of Elethenn's shaking hands in his own and said his own benediction in response and Elethenn looked as if he might cry or possibly walk on air.
Later, after Elethenn left to go and fetch his things as he'd be moving in come morning, Rodil arrived.
They sat with me in our bedroom while Araxis, resting on the couch and looking rather self-satisfied, chatted with the doctor as they spent some time manipulating my elbow, poking and prodding all the bruises that had bloomed across my torso, carefully cleaning the cut on my arm and the torn skin of my knuckles with their usual professionalism and efficiency.
They kept returning to my elbow, frowning, before admitting that they needed to do some research on human anatomy to fully understand what had happened to my joint and what I might have done by popping it back into place in a fit of pique.
When Rodil left, after telling me in no uncertain terms that I wasn't permitted to go back to Tam's for at least a week and I shouldn't go running and I really oughtn't do anything more than lounge in bed and be tended to by my sinnenthi, Araxis helped me bathe and then undress and finally settle into our nest of pillows.
When the lights were out and the additional round of painkillers that Rodil had given me had taken the edge off the worst of the aches, I allowed myself to mull over the expression on Elethenn's face – a gratitude so profound it had almost felt too private to look at – when Araxis had offered him a place in Creche Thiel.
"You know, you didn’t have to do that." I shifted a little so that I could rest my cheek against Araxis’s shoulder, too exhausted and worn down to pretend that it wasn’t exactly where I wanted to be. "For Elethenn."
Araxis rumbled a soft, contented sound, his fingers tentatively moving to stroke my hair.
"It is good to build our creche. You have brought us our first new member, Sashen.
And Rodil is a good candidate. I am sure that all of the friends you have made in Radiant Ward are.
I am most interested in speaking with Inmadra next.
We could certainly use another arkathi, and one so skilled in language and who is permitted to offer instruction in culture will have trained as a diplomat. "
"She works stripping wires out of old tech," I mumbled, proximity to sleep making the sounds soft and slurred in my mouth. I let my head rest more heavily on him, inhaling the scent of his skin. "Her hands are always beat to shit."
For a long time, Araxis was quiet by my side, perfectly still except for the way his fingers slipped through my hair.
"You help grow our creche by finding those who need a home," he murmured finally, shifting so that he could trace his fingers down the shape of my arm – impossibly careful, as if I were spun from glass.
As if he were afraid to leave marks. "It is a beautiful thing to do, Sashen.
You are kind. You are a treasure. I am grateful for every day you choose to spend here. "
I allowed him to pull me more tightly to his side, and I folded myself against him.
My chest thrummed with an emotion I was having a hard time naming, but it felt good despite everything that had happened.
Good enough that I was able to drift off to sleep, Araxis's words settling into the dark corners of my soul and casting a warm and gentle glow so that things didn't feel quite so hopeless, down in my darkest depths.
As if his kindness might be a song that could quiet the shadow that I'd woken, singing it back to sleep so that I might have some peace, there by his side, held gently in his affection.