Chapter 23 #4
I was tempted to lie, but it was better to go into this meeting with eyes wide open. "Not great," I admitted. "They had some choice words about me and about you and – us. You know, I'm an idiot. You're an embarrassment. We're insufferable. The usual."
Araxis had moved toward the door to the meeting room, hand stretched out to open it, but he froze, shoulders stiff. I watched him inhale, stare drifting down. "Hm."
"Hey now," I said, gentle, moving to touch the curve of his shoulder, tugging on the soft material of his jacket so that he had to turn and look at me.
"Don't let that hurt you. If Vivith can't see that you're worth following, then they don't deserve to come back to Creche Thiel.
Because, and I want to be very clear here, you're an incredible head of house.
I know that I don't have many to compare you to, but Elethenn says you're pretty exceptional.
He wouldn't have stayed otherwise, Araxis.
Although I think he might have a crush on you, and I definitely do, so. Take that from whence it comes."
Araxis trilled, shaking his head and shooting me a sly, sideways look. "Elethenn does have some, hm, romantic feelings for me. He told me as much when we returned from Radiant Ward, when we spoke in the kitchen."
I felt my spine stiffen of its own accord, my fingers tightening on his jacket. "Wait," I said, "really? What did you say?"
"What do you think I said?" asked Araxis, amused.
Was this feeling – a little dark and unsettled, somewhere beneath my navel – jealousy? Or was it the result of too much sugar and another weird fucking day, with a meeting with Vivith looming before I earned the right to fall asleep after fooling around with Araxis?
"I think you said, only if my boyfriend can watch," I intoned. "But really, did he, uh, take being let down okay?"
"Yes," Araxis said, firm. "It was not an overture in any case.
He was providing context for some of the other things we spoke of.
And while the attention is rather flattering and very novel, he understands that I am not inclined to sinnenthi.
Even if I were, he can plainly see how deeply we are connected.
Elethenn has been lonely for a long time, I think, even when he was with his former creche.
He has not been treated kindly. I wish he did not feel so conflicted about remaining with Creche Thiel as well, but I hope we will be able to resolve that issue once we arrive in Xitera. "
"You're right," I said. "He definitely hasn't been treated well.
I also think he's pretty fucking hard on himself too.
I don't know what it is with sinnenthi and their need to self-flagellate…
" He silvered a little under my pointed look, chagrined, and I laughed before sobering.
"So, are we just going to… hear Vivith out? What do we do?"
Weariness settled over Araxis again, his features falling as he took a deep breath.
"Yes, we listen. When a petition is submitted, we must. While I might be inclined to give them more time to consider their choices, I also know that when Vivith sits for too long, their thoughts turn to darker paths.
I would not like to give them more time to think and… sulk."
I snorted, stretching my arms above my head and working to crack my shoulders. "Alright, well. This is a formal meeting, so should I get changed?"
"Will you feel very put-upon if I suggest formal wear is the better choice?"
I would, but I pretended I wouldn't because, really, if the biggest burden I had to bear at the moment was being buttoned up and having to listen to Vivith's bullshit, in the scheme of my mostly shitty life up until now, that was still a good deal.
I waved off his imminent apology and got changed before drifting off to the kitchen to make fresh tea, taking the time to stretch out my lower back as the kettle ticked and whined as it heated up.
I dropped off the tray with tea in the meeting room before stepping back into our bedroom, where Araxis was standing before the display board, wearing a fresh set of clothes and staring emptily at the text before him, a thousand miles away.
When I drew to his side, he forcibly pulled his attention back to me.
"They will be here soon. I've asked Thodin to wait at the door and show them to the meeting room. "
His features were tight with stress and worry.
I slid myself against his side, shifting to press a kiss to his temple.
"I love you," I murmured, dropping another kiss to his cheekbone, and then another to the side of his mouth, "And we'll figure everything out, no matter what Vivith says.
Don't worry about me in there. Worry about the creche.
Think like a sinnenthi, and don't be too gentle with them. "
The skin around Araxis's eyes tightened, but he nodded. And when we made our way to the meeting room, his shoulders were squared, his posture upright, and he walked every step like the head of Creche Thiel ought to.