Chapter 29
An Eye for an Eye
Rodil was seated at one side of the table, Talvi on a cushion by their side, chin tucked hard to their chest as tears slipped down their cheeks.
Elethenn stood in the corner farthest from the door, his hands clasped in front of him.
They weren't bound, which I guessed meant that he was here willingly; the anger that had already been crackling in my chest grew bitter, corrosive.
Crozani followed me in, wresting my arc lance free from its holster, her fingers lingering for a beat too long against my thigh.
"You'll have to tip me more for that," I said, dry.
It might have shaken someone else, but I had a decade's worth of practice being pawed at by shitty people. What was another wandering hand to me?
Crozani scoffed before she planted a palm on my shoulder and shoved me toward the table.
I stumbled, half-falling to the cushion across from Rodil.
While I straightened, Crozani returned to the hall and drew her blast pistol from the small of her back.
She held it loosely in her grip; she had a sword at her side too, like she'd had at the museum.
My wristband buzzed with another incoming call. Before I could silence it, Rodil made a hissing correction. "It is rude to take a call during a meeting. Elethenn?"
Elethenn left his corner, stepping toward me. He crouched and extended a hand, although his stare was fixed on the floor, as if he had to avert his eyes or risk ruin.
And it was probably for the best: if looks could kill, I was pretty sure he would have spontaneously combusted on the spot under my glare. I wrenched my wristband off and shoved it into his hand and said, low, "I hope you're ashamed of yourself."
A soft, pained sound caught in his throat.
"Yes," Elethenn murmured, barely more than an exhalation.
"I am." He straightened, returning to his corner and holding my wristband gently in his grip.
Last time we'd been in a meeting like this, he'd been sitting in a pool of blood and he'd retrieved my wristband for me. What a fucking contrast.
Across the table, a little whine of distress sounded, so I ripped my attention away from Elethenn and looked at Talvi. "Hey," I said, softening the edges of my voice. "There's my little dumpling. I bet you're being so brave."
Talvi quivered, chest hitching with barely suppressed sobs. "I – I don't – don't want –"
"Quiet," said Rodil, firm, shifting their hand so that metal glinted in the warm overhead lights. Talvi swallowed down whatever they were going to say, curling their body forward and wrapping their arms around their legs, hiding their face.
I let my stare drift over to Rodil, and the beast inside of me growled so deeply that I could feel it in the marrow of every bone in my body.
Who the fuck thought it was appropriate to hold a blaster against a child?
"So," I said, somehow managing to sound conversational even though I was imagining how satisfying it would be to wrap my hands around Rodil's pale throat and squeeze until their lips turned green, even though the fantasy was so tantalizing that I had to fight to keep from rocking forward, compelled.
"Was this the plan all along? Wait until we're gone and then take control? "
Rodil's lips twitched in an almost-smile.
"Hm, no. It is sweet that you imagine you factored in at all, Sashen.
We are adjusting to an unforeseen outcome, that is all.
We might have handled this much more swiftly had your Vivith not been coy with the information they received from Araxis last night. But we had other avenues available."
"So someone's going to reach out to Araxis to negotiate," I said carefully. "And in the meantime?"
Rodil said nothing, blinking placidly at me.
I licked my lips, then swallowed against the tightness in my throat. "I just – You've been with Creche Naival this whole time? Or did they recruit you after you joined our creche? When I met you in Radiant Ward, that wasn't – You didn't plan that, right?"
Of course they had and I knew it, but I wanted to hear it all, and sometimes, the best way to get someone to talk was to play stupid and hurt.
Rodil's smile sharpened. "Would you like to understand? You may find it instructive in the future. You will not wish to make the same mistakes again when you join your new creche. What do you think, Elethenn? Shall we offer some insight to your vacuous virra?"
They knew I could understand that, so it was just meant to piss me off. As if I wasn't used to people thinking I was stupid; as if I didn't know how to play that to my advantage.
In the corner, Elethenn tensed but stayed silent.
So I just put on a smile – I knew it was unsettling when I smiled in situations like this, and I wanted very badly to unsettle Rodil – and shrugged.
"Sure," I said. "I would welcome your wisdom so that I might walk a better path in the future.
" Although if Rodil thought I would be moving to a new creche, they were sorely mistaken.
The more Talvi kept snuffling against their knees, the more certain I became: this was going to end in bloodshed. I would make sure it did.
"I did travel to Sozamia Station with the aim of infiltrating Creche Thiel," said Rodil, almost merrily.
"How startled I was to find you gallivanting around Radiant Ward by yourself!
I observed you for some time, and then determined the best course of action.
You would need a physician, as would Creche Thiel, and you had already begun to form social bonds with crecheless abaya.
It was an easy access point. Your Elethenn was the best angle of approach.
I reviewed the files of those you'd had contact with, and determined that the others were less likely to be cooperative. "
I let the pieces rearrange themselves in my mind, trying to follow. "So you're not a doctor." When Rodil shook their head, I let out a startled laugh. "Oh shit, that's why you're so fucking bad at actually healing me."
"Yes," they admitted with a smile that was almost chagrined. "And you are injury-prone, aren't you? You throw yourself in harm's way almost as readily as your sinnenthi throws himself at your feet."
A spike of anger straightened my spine, my fingers flexing where they were resting against my thighs. But I couldn't let the wolf out, not yet. I had to keep its leash wrapped between my fingers until I needed it. Right now, I needed to think.
"So you… recruited Elethenn," I said, trying to lead Rodil back to where I wanted us to go.
"It was not difficult. A few conversations with some of my contacts in Creche Hanalthi, an agreement between Creche Naival and Creche Hanalthi, and it was done.
Elethenn will be glad to be of use again to Creche Hanalthi and his head of branch once this business is concluded, won't you?
In recent weeks, I have not been certain I could attest to your atonement – you have not been terribly helpful inside of the creche – but you were of some utility this past day. "
Elethenn stared at the floor, shoulders hunched, my wristband clenched between his fingers.
I sifted through all of the interactions I'd had with Rodil. The times they'd patched me up at my apartment. Their questions. The way they'd listened to me, crying about my wrist. The questions they'd asked. The questions.
I kept my face perfectly blank, looking down to the glossy table in what I hoped was a reasonable approximation of deference.
I'd been too worked up to say anything, thank fuck, but Elethenn knew we were working with the Unbound.
And if Creche Naival knew, if they knew Araxis had been treasonous, then we were well and truly fucked.
Then it would become about negotiating by whatever means necessary to get Talvi out of their clutches.
Was this where I put the idea that I'd have done anything for the kids to the test? Was this where I negotiated, what, myself into their custody?
I had to know, because the answer to what Elethenn had shared changed everything. I glanced back up at him. "So you were, what, an informant?" I asked, and I couldn't get the underlying strain out of my voice. "Because I – I trusted you? And Araxis did?"
Elethenn's eyelids fluttered; his eyes were glassy.
He swallowed, dry, and gave his head a minute shake.
"I only – I agreed only to make an introduction and to...
be of assistance. To go where I was told.
" His stare jerked up for a second to meet mine, and he added, in hoarse abayan, "I have conducted myself poorly. I am wretched, I know."
Well, that was the understatement of the fucking year – but Elethenn said it like it meant something, and the words kept catching in my mind as they circled through again and again.
His conduct –
At once, the memory came to me: sitting in that cluttered office, the air bright and sour with the smell of blood as Nizanin stared hungrily at Elethenn.
He has conducted himself poorly tonight, and other times as well, Nizanin had said.
What a wretched, ill-formed thing. He is not fit for a creche.
Why mention that, like I should take notice? Why echo Nizanin's words at all?
Unless he was trying to tell me, to remind me, so that I could know he'd kept that to himself.
I didn't let myself inhale, sharp, although it was a close thing.
My heart thudded weakly against my ribs with something that felt an awful lot like hope, although I knew better.
But maybe, maybe if Elethenn had held back, maybe we weren't quite as fucked as I'd feared, although I couldn't let myself go too far down that path.
After all, I was still sitting in our meeting room with two enemies at hand and a child to save.
I scrambled frantically for something else to offer Rodil so that my sudden silence would be less suspect.